My boyfriend calls himself a faggot during anal penetration. Does this make him gay or bi?

[Anonymous]

So, my boyfriend has recently discovered he likes anal penetration. I oblige this because I love him and want him to feel good. Recently I used my dildo on him and he referred to himself as a faggot several times during "sexy" talk. After I was done on him, he said "sorry I'm such a little faggot" and before I used the dildo on him, he asked if I would be wearing it. =\ I've asked him several times in the past (before the anal penetration) if he's gay. I was joking, but he always assures me he definitely isn't gay/doesn't like dudes at all. He's the last person one would think is gay if you base it off of stereotypes. Occasionally he comments on the attractiveness of female celebrities, but never male celebrities. He loves boobs and female butts as he's always trying to touch mine. He likes to dominate by pulling my hair and generally being rough but he doesn't really like being the one on top. But because of recent events, I'm beginning to think that maybe he would be afraid to come out of the closet because his family would be disappointed if he were gay, and all the things he seems to like that are typical of heterosexual males might just be a show. Also, he's told me he has never been able to cum inside any girlfriend he's been with after a certain ex that really messed with his emotions. Sex usually ends with him jerking himself off with me "helping" during and afterwards. He's usually more concerned if I end up orgasming or not. He's really sweet and I know that he loves me because he invests a lot of time into our relationship and is very thoughtful, but sometimes I'm afraid he's only with girls because of how he was raised. His family is cool with gay people but probably would be disappointed if he ever told them he's gay. He's mentioned us getting married a few times (we've been together for a year and 7 months) but I'm so afraid that some time down the road, he'll come out while we're married. I'd love anyone's thoughts on the matter,

[Gentle1Professor]

I can empathize with him. I too like anal penetration and have met a couple women who enjoy putting on a dildo and entering me. I get a much larger erection but am able to deliver it to her and reach a very explosive climax. I usually produce more cum in these times.

I don't know if you could say he is bi or gay or just enjoys being on the receiving end of the toy. As for him not being able to cum during penetration of you, well it does sound like he has some emotional issues that needs to be addressed. Has he ever indicated that he had any same sex when he was younger?

Most boys find a good friend and explore sex and their own sexuality together. That is the time that I found I liked someone to insert a finger or fingers in my hole and massage the prostrate gently. We did all sorts of things together from masturbating each other, sucking each other, and there for a while I let him cum in my mouth. Before I moved away he wanted to put his in my hole after we had been fingering each other for a while. I agreed and we lubricated his cock and he slowly pushed his cock into my hole. It was not a pleasant experience at first but after getting all the way in I found it very erotic and let him do me like I was a girl and finally came inside me.

I don't consider myself gay since I love being with women but I would have no problem enjoying those sensations with a guy again instead of a plastic cock like the women have used in me.

Work with his climax problem and help him with his masturbation after penetration.

[JuicyBrain]

He's not gay.
He just likes to be submissive (and into humiliation) and enjoys anal sex.
The very fact that he calls himself a faggot makes me think he is not gay. He likes humiliation. It wouldn't be the same if he was really gay.

[aithe4ngel]

sounds like he just has a smidge of a fetish and is either ashamed by stigma around it or enjoys the shame in the stigma around presenting as two fetishes, he sounds a bit subby to me or a switch if he likes to pull hair some of the time. It sounds like you two are really sweet I doubt he's gay possibly bi, but id bet it just feels good because thats where some of the nerves are at. best wishes :) hope you figure it out best solution = asking talk about it the only thing to be ashamed of is the fear of shame itself if that makes sense. yay awkward subject conversation time ^.^

[SarahsSummer]

This is really interesting to me but he's not gay. He just wants you to take charge. I think he's being the submissive partner. Does he get hard for you? That's generally a sign of sexual attraction. And the fact that he's so comfortable to ask you to do that is a positive sign. Do you like or mind giving it to him in the ass?

[Asker]

I don't mind it but I don't necessarily enjoy it, mostly because I feel a little awkward and don't know what I'm doing or what to say. I'm used to being submissive, I don't know how to be the dom lol

[SarahsSummer]

May not be a good fit then. My guy is the dominant one in bed and that's the way I prefer it. I don't think I'd be interested in the roll reversal. But that's just me. How long has the relationship been going before his request came about?

[Asker]

We'll he likes to be both, lol, so most of the time it's not a problem. I don't mind it because I see that he loves it and that's what matters most to me. He asked for it about a year into our relationship.

[SarahsSummer]

Well, I don't think he's gay. if he satisfies your needs and he wants this to satisfy his then do it. If he were to ever come out one would hope it's long before marriage.

[SarahsSummer]

Can I pm you or you pm me I'd like to ask something.

[Asker]

Of course!

[SarahsSummer]

But your anonymous. You'll have to reach out to me. thanks.

[Asker]

I can't message you because I don't have enough points, but maybe you can message me? I just followed you. If not, I can give you my email if you want

[fwbplease]

Some men like anal stimulation during sex and this doesn't make them gay. But I do question why you would ask him if he was gay even jokingly? I've never joked with a guy unless he did something questionable. You should tell him you want him to cum inside you or on you. Tell him it turns you on and you want it done.

[Asker]

He has a shirt that says "he likes it in the ass" with a hand pointing to the right; there's a picture of him holding his friend off to the right of him and them smiling really big, so I jokingly said something like "I knew you were too beautiful to be straight" and he just laughed it off and said he's not gay. I do that all the time. One time he said he came and I was excited about it because we'd been together for a year at that point and it hadn't happened yet, so I said "really?" and he said "I think so." lol... I don't know

[dartmaul15]

it's not about sexuality, but about domination.

Being a sub is seen as weak, and being fucked in the ass is seen as gay and weak. So being fucked in the ass as a sub and being treated as a gay is... well, you do the math.
Sounds to me he got a serious submission streak.

if so, then you could use that to your advantage. You're the dom, and you could consider that to be "bad" behavior, and make him not say it or use that fantasy? They can say what they want, but dommination over time will cause changes, even if it's just sexual domminance

But about his act, i think maybe it can have something to do with his ex. Care to elaborate? it could be important.

[Asker]

He married his girlfriend 4 months after graduating high school. He was in the army before, during, and right before the marriage ended. He found out he had depression while in the army and got PTSD from a really horrible thing that happened to him. His ex became distant and treated him like shit, doing things like hitting him in the face with a remote control. And he worshipped her before this. He found out that she started to cheat on him after he got back from the army and started to become depressed. She told him he wanted a divorce; he tried to make the marriage last, but she wanted out, so she got out. He had to deal with the embarrassment of telling his family. Being discharged from the army and getting a divorce really took a huge toll on him that he still feels awful for. Also, the two of them never had sex.. he just gave her oral pleasure but she wouldn't give him anything. She sounds like a horrible bitch so the fact that he still dwells on her really upsets me.. :(

[GirlScout]

I think this is more of a kink and less that he's gay, sounds like he enjoys being degraded while he takes it in the ass. That doesn't make him gay though. To be honest it just sounds like he's real comfortable with you, so comfortable that he can use words like faggot and be referring to himself during sex. I'd say he feels very sage around you, sounds like a good thing!

Does it bother you that he likes it?

[hellionthesage]

Well the faggot remark is probably due to it being wrong essentially. Its the humilation factor that probably gets him off. You can be into all sorts of things and be straight. What defines some one as homosexual is if they are attracted to some one of the same gender. Chances are he is just into some kinky stuff, thats all.

[Lolomon]

No, but when he starts asking you to put on a strap on I'd start questioning it.

[AmericanPoet]

Not gay... adventurous and has different boundaries. Just because he likes ass play and domination doesn't make him gay. It makes him sexually confident and liberated. Not sure why people feel the need to judge

[abundantlyrich]

If he keeps saying it... He reminds of that homophobic in American beauty.

[AdamThomas]

If he wants a plastic penis in his ass he's bi-curious at the very least - straight men only like vaginas. If he's with you though and he's turned on by you he's not gay, so even if he is bisexual you don't need to worry too much.

[MackToday]

I guess he could be gay but way more likely he's into BDSM and wants you to humiliate him. The act you're performing on him is pretty degrading which is why he likes it. Probably he'll come up with other bizarre things he wants you to do do disgrace him as well. Pretty much he's looking for a dominatrix.

[lv4lv]

I wouldn't say he's gay - I'd say he's homophobic.

[TonyRyan]

Some folks just have weird ass fetishes...

https://i.imgur.com/ep0FAfw.jpg

[Prettygurl12]

Pun intended or no?

[TonyRyan]

@prettygurl12 :-)

[Spotme]

He's probably not gay, just weird.

[jjmarvin]

It's humiliation fetish. Probably not even bi. Just likes being called gay and teased as a form of domination.

[Marstalk]

It could be a fetish thing.

[Pete671]

He's not gay or bi, he's doing anal play with you not another guy...

[jakeofalltrades]

sounds like he is likely gay or bi

[ronaldo75]

He's in the closet. DEEP in the closet. He has a woman who pegs his ass with a dildo and from the sounds of it he LOVES IT, but then calls himself a "little faggot" in the middle of it? Nah, he's FOR SURE a closet case.

If he were a straight heterosexual man who "simply liked anal play" then he wouldn't be so emotional about it and the whole faggot commentary wouldn't come up. He's ashamed or is repressing his sexuality.

[DeenaGupro]

probably a subconscious things... he may see it as gay. and liking anal stimulation isn't gay.

[TooNiceTooHorny]

It's impossible for anyone to say whether he is gay or not, other than himself. But, I'd probably suspect that he is not. Maybe he's bi or just curious or simply likes to be submissive.

I'm straight, but I fantasise about being fucked by a girl in this way, just wish I could find someone! So he's not the only one, and he's very lucky to have you. :)

[Nymphotep45]

He likes being submissive and there is nothing wrong with that. But here is what I suggest if you want to help him come inside you and start overcoming his fear.

When you guys are having sex whether you are on top or on the bottom, have a vibrator/dildo in his butt at the same time hitting his prostate. You could get one of those vibrating Pspot things that sends vibrations and you control it through an app on your phone. When you want him to cum as you are riding him with the toy coming in and out of his ass, just crank up the vibration and intensity. When he comes from that, he will start having positive associations of coming inside you. Eventually, you turn down the vibrations and eventually remove the dildo and he will be able to just come inside you.

[Anonymous]

It's gay if he wants to be fucked by a man. So no.