Do most women find virgin men undateable and unattractive?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I am nearly 30 years old, and a virgin. I have done everything sexual with my exes, except for intercourse. I was born and raised in an ultra-conservative country, where sex before marriage is viewed as a sin. I struggled with all the restriction, but I now live in a developed country since a few months. I wanted to get back into the dating scene here, but it seem like women want sexually experienced men, and me being a virgin at 30, means I'm almost written off as a potential partner. Should I lose my virginity to a prostitute, just to become eligible to date (prostitution is legal here)? I'd really not prefer to do that. And I'm not even looking only for virgin women. I'm fine with anyone.

[skullly]

This always seems weird to me... because do you honestly say "Hi, my name if bob and i'm a virgin! Nice to meet you!" ? "Oh! i'm sorry bob, I cannot date you because you're a virgin! bye! :D? Who does that? or do you have some type of sign that you carry with you at all times that announces that?

My point is, why should this type of information be exchanged with anyone at all upon meeting them? or within the first few dates? Or how else do you determine that women don't want to date you because of your lack in sexual experiences? That just seems odd to me.

in any case, when that type of information is shared with someone, I would like to think that by then, the other person already has a rough idea of how they feel about you and finding out you're a virgin should have little to no effect in his/her decision... because they already like you by then... and in the rare case that someone does reject you for this particular reason (which is highly at low percent level), then you just move on.

If you want to put yourself through the risk of being infected with some sexually transmitted disease, then go do whatever you want with all the prostitutes that you want, just to "become elligible" as you say... but from my perspective... I would NEVER even initiate anything with someone who fucks prostitutes. Yewk!

[Asker]

Please see my latest update to the question. Even if I never tell them, won;t they come to know that I'm inexperienced, when we actually try to have sex?

[hihow12345]

She's right man. No!! They won't know even if they found out than it'll be too late cuz you'll lose your virginity by than so it's a win win.

[Animalshadow]

I like your comment :)

[skullly]

Of course! Most likely they'll know!! BUT When you actually get to that point, I'm going to assume you've been with this person long enough for them to have formed some type of feelings for you... If they didn't like you on some level, they would have left you long before! So if you get to that point, they obviously like you at least a little! And what you're worrying about really doesn't make someone like you more or less at that point... Unless you're planing on having sex with someone right after your first dinner date? Which would be awful from my perspective... Because if you waited this long, why would you just have sex with someone you just met? Seems redundant. And thank you! @hihow and @ animal shadow 😊😊😀!

[skullly]

Than you for MHG! :]! and just to say something... . I "personally" prefer someone completely inexperienced in the sex department, than someone with a doctorate degree in sexual experience xD .. and i'm sure i'm not the only one. :p!

[Nazliah_davids]

I think that if you are looking for someone to settle down with, they should be able to like YOU. No matter age, race, sexual status lol. The girl who is really interested and loving will understand I suppose, prostitution though.. well, I suppose if you want to you could but id not recommend it. Before the woman in your life you should look towards how you see yourself. 20 years from now your going to see yourself as that guy who lost his virginity to a prostitute because he was scared of what others thought. And your not going to like it Bob.
Finding that girl who wants to be with you and being your first time will be magical, and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, if anything.. it even sometimes turns girls on :)

[Asker]

Thank you for your encouraging and kind words! :)

[Anonymous]

Okay so what I think attracts most women to men who have experience is because well the experienced men know how to pleasure a women. And when they hear that your a virgin its because they dont think you could pleasue them. And by pleasureing a women is to make her come. So some advice is to be a little rough. You know how most men come before women well turn off. Because then the lady just has to wait until the man recovers again in order for her to come. Wait until the lady comes first. If you can't come after she does then, practice. I know it'll be hard for you to not come when you want, but wait for her to come first. Unless you know how to make a women come then your set.

[Asker]

Yeah, I get what you're saying. Thank you! :)

[NearlyNapping]

It's the kind of thing that will be a negative for some girls. For a very small number it might even be a deal breaker.

But here's the thing. That's true about everything else about you. Two people getting together as a couple is not about one thing. It's not about five things, or ten things. It's about a whole bunch of things combined in the right package. Even when people mention their preferences, when they meet somebody and fall for them, those preferences go out the window.

If I was in your situation and a woman outright rejected me for being a virgin, I probably wouldn't want her either. It goes both ways and there is nothing wrong with that. I probably wouldn't want her, but it would be about compatibility. I'm not compatible with her, and she's not compatible with me. That's how it works. You can't expect every woman you meet to be in the running. Over time you narrow it down until you find that one person and they find you.

When there are hundreds of things combined to make two people compatible, you can't focus on one thing and think "woe is me" because you didn't appeal to every woman who comes along.

[Anonymous]

It would probably be better to not bring it up at all until the moment before (which you successfully resisted a few times... wow). I once joked to a girl I liked at 28 that "I was a virgin" although I really lost it at 16. She didn't get the joke and actually thought I was serious. I got her to laugh about it later when I explained but still it hurt me in the beginning. Deep cold truth is most girls will not like to hear that off the bat... but when you are 3rd base, it could be a "interesting" home run hit for the girl (if you get my analogy)

If your date asks about exes/sexual experiences I would say "I'm not going to talk about my past experience". That way you are not lying and are also come off as mysterious (which turns girls on). If you even remotely resemble a man they'll just assume your not a virgin.

[Asker]

Great advice! Thanks! But won't my inexperience become evident when we actually want to have sex?

[SparklingFirefly]

A guy avoiding a question like that isn't gonna come across as cool and mysterious, trust me lol. It's gonna make her suspicious and weird her out.

[Raven1990]

@SparklingFirefly I agree, we don't need to avoid some questions, but you don't need to go in further details if you have just met the person some days ago. You can just say that you are shy to talk so openly about your intimate life but she can knows more about it if she become intimate to him haha

[Opinion Owner]

SparklingFirefly - You are perfect example of what a woman says she wants DOES NOT EQUAL what she REALLY wants. My ex kept on asking me over and over about "my number". I never told (admittedly it's rather high) and it drove her nuts. It didn't stop her with going crazy with me in bed though. An open book guy is BORING guy to you women subconsciously (whether you admit or not). He is friend zone material.

[Opinion Owner]

by the way - I never went all the way with that girl I joked to about "being a virgin". Even though she figured out it was a joke later she told me straight up that "the thought scared her". It turned her off at a subconscious level because in she had an image of me being a virgin... although it was just a joke. Women want sexually experienced, confident men. Although I respect your self control unfortunately at a sub conscious level many women are NOT turned on by that (although they might consciously respect it). A women's subconscious is where sexual decisions are made. That is why you see them hooking up with assholes. Although they know damn well the guy is no good the vast majority are slaves to their emotions. Hate to tell the truth, but it is what it is.

[AngryGoddess]

I'm pretty sure that being a virgin can sometimes be teased. But that's about it. No woman would reject a perfectly good man because he's a virgin. But on the other hand if you lose your virginity to a prostitute, most wom

[AngryGoddess]

Most women* are going to reject you. Super sensitive touch cut me off halfway again.

[Asker]

Yeah, I have understood that by now, and have almost ruled out this option!

[missjayne]

Don't go to a prostitute! Ewww! I'm sure you could find a dating site or something that would help you out.

[kalifornianklass]

I can't speak for all women, but I certainly wouldn't find a virgin male unattractive. I'd find you more attractive because you're not a douche bag hah! But, I feel like a woman would find you less attractive if you paid for temporary companionship. I'm sure you'll find someone as great as you one day! Good luck!

[loofah]

its no problem you're a virgin. i wouldn't find it unattractive. i would say dont lose it to a prostitute out of pressure. do it only if you really want to. but you're just as much of a man as anyone else, and i understand conservative cultures have a huge influence on men and women behavior

[LoveLikeRockets]

I concur.

[Tammy94]

Virgin guys aren't unattractive. My boyfriend was a virgin when we started dating and I obviously didn't find him unattractive, although I made him not a virgin anymore :-)

I would say no to your prostitute idea. Sexual experience can be gained, but good personality and character traits are often harder to come by. If you find a woman that you connect with and who connects with you, then be honest. She probably won't mind your virginity, and soon you won't be a virgin anymore either. :-)

[Tammy94]

I would add: we all have to start somewhere, and in my boyfriend's case I found it sweet that he wanted/trusted me to be the one to take his virginity. It can and should be a special occasion, so look at it that way. :-)

[Asker]

Wow, thanks! Your words give me hope. If only there were more girls like you, who didn't look down upon virgin men!

[SparklingFirefly]

I would be cool with it! As long as you were open to my suggestions and we could work together to make sure we're both happy. I think if you explain the situation, most women would understand. Please don't lose it to a prostitute. When she finds out about that, it'd probably be way worse. Stay clean and wait for the right time.

[Asker]

Thanks for your encouraging words! I would really HATE TO lose my V-card to a prostitute, and would never resort to that unless I have no other option. I wonder why the girls here are saying they are ok with it, while the guys are of the opinions that girls are just lying here, and in reality they would never even consider a virgin man approaching his 30s. Kinda confused, to be honest. I just want to believe that I do have chances with women, though. :)

[SparklingFirefly]

I think some men are kinda bitter because women can be harsh about their sexual needs at times. That's why it's important to be open with the women you're seeing. I would definitely make it a big point to tell them you've done every other sexual thing, except sex. So that way they know you're not completely new at sexual things. But don't be so hung up on what the men are telling you. You're getting first hand info from the ladies and they can believe whatever they wanna believe :P

[Asker]

I sincerely hope you're right, and I can come back some day to tell you when I have actually found a girlfriend in spite of being a virgin! :)

[RationalLioness]

I can't speak for most women. I don't find it unattractive at all.

[RationalLioness]

I also wouldn't lose it to a prostitute though. I mean, you don't want your first time to be with some whore, do you? If you don't mind and just want to lose it, go for it.

[Raven1990]

Hey Asker... I really don't think you need to lie for the girls. According to what you said, you are not a virgin if you have done sexual things with your exes even though you have done penetration. That being said, you don't need to lie, you just need to improve your speech. Instead of focus whether you have penetrative sex, you should try to let them know that you have already sexual experiences with a couple of women before, plus all of them liked you too much that they end up dating you haha
Be smart my friend, no need to be a liar

[Asker]

Thanks, it seems like sound advice!

[SparklingFirefly]

If you get in a relationship with a woman whom you happen to lose your virginity to, I think she would appreciate knowing she was your first. Also most couples have a conversation about sexual partners and virginity at some point so you don't want it to seem like you've been hiding that

[Raven1990]

@SparklingFirefly Fine! So my speech would go for the "first impression scene", then later on as you commit in a relationship with her, after you have real intercourse with her (even though I don't think it's a good idea-but well this is another topic...) you can just say that she was the first one for having penetrative sex because you were saving it for someone really important ;)

[SparklingFirefly]

Haha nah, I would tell her before having sex with her. It's just the right thing to do if you're gonna be open in a relationship. Usually when you're dating, you enter the phase where you start flirting with each other and saying sex things/talking about your preference, etc. I think that's the right time to mention it. So that it comes out naturally

[Asker]

@SparklingFirefly Ok, so if I tell her about it before actually having sex, and she immediately says she can't be with someone inexperienced like me, what do I do? I mean... this is not common, but I have heard of cases where this has happened to some men.

[Raven1990]

I think the secret is that nowadays people do so much dirty talk and don't talk about things that really matter like truth, morality of good and evil, etc... so Asker, that's why I advice you to not bring on this topic about your "technical virginity" until you eventually do that. I will not give you further details in my personal life but trust me. Instead, bring on topics that you can make her interest in other "higher" things like spirituality and politics instead of "lower" animalistic things like sex. This may make her admire for your inteligence and vision. Try to always conduct the talk, so you can guarantee things will not go down to talk about dirty things

[NatashaCarter]

Women don't care. Many find it endearing. Don't let your first time be meaningless.

[Alwaysthere85]

I would date a virgin. I don't see how that would hinder the relationship! I'm sure that there are women who feel the opposite of me. If a woman makes you feel bad about it, then it's time to move on to the next one. Don't lose it to a prostitute either. You don't want to think about that moment as being lost to someone who won't care about the act. When you find the right lady, she'll remember that moment with you! Plus, what a better excuse than to practice, practice, practice ;) Best of luck!

[throwit]

I was so happy my boyfriend at the time was also a virgin, and we were both in out 20's.
If a guy is unnatractive and weird and awkward and on top of that is also a virgin then yeah, it's not appealing.

[Lonewolf1994]

I'm all 3 of those things 😔

[DaniaMQ]

I can't understand why people are ashamed of being a virgin !!! I PERSONALLY want to get married to a virgin guy, not to someone who experienced it with 3 girls or even 1, before me... And no, don't lose it to a prostitute just to not be called a virgin coz being a virgin is totally fine, and lots of people save it till marriage so you don't need to do that... Don't be ashamed of it really, its not something to be ashamed of, and if a girl wouldn't date you coz you are virgin, well just forget her coz she isn't worth a minute of your time! Focus on your personality and looks not on your virginity, coz those things are what attract girls, not the virginity thing.. Be confident and don't worry! 😊

[BeautifulWreck]

I don't think it is unattractive at all. In today's world it is hard to find someone who is actually a virgin. There are kids out there losing their virginitt at 13 and younger. Therefore, when I meet someone who is actually a virgin, I have a very high respect for them. There are women out there who would love to be with you.

[lolasmith23]

I don't think virginity would make anyone unattractive.

[Mistnigqa808]

Damn right (IRL that is... since most GAGirls will lie about this topic it seems. Well UNLESS they're VIRGINS themselves I'm guessing haha). Cuz the moment a girl hears of a guy that is a virgin past 20 yeah... she's going to "shame him" or wonder "how in the fuck is that possible" it seems LOL.

[Mistnigqa808]

In trade school (room full of 22 girls and only 2 other guys beside me) this guy who 23 said that he was a virgin and everybody in the room looked at him funny. Most of the girls were talking shit to him + he seems "shook" around women... so I kinda guessed it LOL

[Asker]

But it does not make sense. If women do prefer only sexually experienced men, why incentive do they have to lie on this site that a man's virginity does not matter to them? Also, every female who replied here said that she wouldn't mind a virgin man. Why would they ALL lie together? On the other hand, most men who answered here are sure that the women are lying, and they're backing that up as well. There seems to be a complete mismatch here. I'm quite confused. :(

[Mistnigqa808]

LMAO BRUH OFC THEY'RE GOING TO FEED YOU THAT #PC BULLSHIT around here (they always do that haha). But in reality, the moment you say "I'm a virgin" to a girl='s YOU TAKING PUSSY RIGHT OFF YOUR DICK 99% of the time. Since usually the guy is weird, couldn't seal the deal with any other girl, has no game etc. So if you're about to hit paydirt (get some for the 1st time) keep going till ya bust that "1st official nut" and if she says "were you a virgin or something of that nature" confess it to her... SINCE YA WOULDN'T BE 1 ANYMORE 😂😂. They probably didn't want to make you feel bad about yourself/situation or something hope that made sense ^_^

[Mistnigqa808]

Ask a virgin guy how much he's made fun of on average by his friend or society in general... girls will be the very same 1's treating them like shit + making fun of their so-called "lame asses", right?

[Asker]

Considering all this, I guess it's best not to bring up this matter at all, and if I'm pushed into a corner, I can just say that I have sexual experiences (without explicitly mentioning intercourse), but my last relationship ended years ago (which is true), so I'm kinda rusty since I don't engage in sexual activity outside of committed relationships.

[Mistnigqa808]

Exactly dont bring it up unless asked. If you're about to fuck the broad... fuck her and then go on about your life LOL. Cuz if she gets a whiff of the fact that you're a virgin she may fuck around and leave the room. And then you'd have a #BlueBallsMoment on your hands

[Scrambledagain]

I'm with this one. Seriously this is reality and what the girls have said is bullshit. Golden rule with women and love advice, what they say they want long term isn't what attracts them.

[Mistnigqa808]

@Scrambledagain Asker listen to him + the rest of us #GAGuys for a change LOL

[cman1996]

virginity is important and it's not about you being inadequate or anything just be confident and be sure of yourself all you need to be is sure in yourself

[davidpossey]

i get how you feel but lol unless you go around telling women you are a fucking virgin they won't know so act normally if you think being a virgin is a problem then it will BECOME a problem so ya just fo your thing have fun and if the vibe is right you will have sex and loose your virginity then reliaze there isn't really much diffrence girls suddenly dont flock to you and want to suck your dick lol

[Asker]

Please do check out my update to the question. I never go around proclaiming my virginity. But yeah, what you said is right.

[davidpossey]

im just saying unless you tell them they won't know

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah I would say lack of confidence is worse than being inexperienced. Women are definitely more likely to pick up on lack of confidence than if someone's inexperienced. It goes both ways, even someone who's had many partners isn't gonna wear it on their sleeve, nor should they.

[bloodmountain1990]

What some people don't consider is lack of opportunities. My first three years of college, I was at a community college and living at home and then when I went to a 4 year school, I had way better luck. Some women even threw themselves at me.

[JessRoxHard]

Not a problem for me. To be honest I quite like inexperienced men sometimes.

[Enaya]

Trust me, it doesn't matter to women. I for one would like a guy without a past because it means he was selective about who he slept with. Don't go to a prostitute, you will never get over the guilt and cheapness of that act.

[Asker]

Yeah, a prostitute was only the last resort. I don't think my conscience would ever permit me to have paid sex.

[Raven1990]

I agree with her on one point. Never ever sleep with a prostitute, unless this is the lesser evil you are need to do. There are other ways to work around.

[Enaya]

Then, don't do it.

[Scrambledagain]

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23515-10-brilliant-reasons-why-men-should-not-be-ashamed-to-use-prostitutes

Sorry I had to..,

[Berethor]

So you have done everything sexual with my exes except for intercourse, so what so "ultra-conservative" about you? you not even an real/full virgin, you are technical virgin, and now you want to go to prostitute to make it even worse. Sorry but your story sounding like an total bullshit, if you was living in ultra-conservative country, girls would have respected your "virginity".

tvtropes.org/.../NatureAdoresAVirgin

tvtropes.org/.../TechnicalVirgin

[Asker]

Can't you even read? I said I have MOVED.

[Berethor]

I guess I missed that detail, but you should not have moved anyway, so you cares. :)