Boyfriend kinda pressured me but apologized for it?

[Anonymous]

Good evening everyone, I'm new here. Sooo I'm 17, have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. Everything was okay, he is my first serious boyfriend and I am too, so we took our time together to do things, we didn't rush anything and it was after 3-4 months that we began to do sexual things. We both lost our virginity last month (we both were okay with it and it was amazing) and since then, we're sexually active and very very happy. But today, I went to his house to eat lunch with him, but I guess he already wanted to do it so he started to strip me and also unzipped his pants. I wanted it too so we had sex, as usual, but after a few mins, he wasn't hard anymore and anyways he had to go somewhere so we didn't have time to "finish". He got frustrated about it and while he was removing the condom, he told me to finish him by giving him oral. I didn't really want to but he kept pressuring me like "you can do this right? Pleaaaase" "hey baby, please? Just finish it already", so I started doing so, forcing myself into it. I felt horrible, as if I was his sextoy, as if he only sees me as someone who can pleasure him. With all those thoughts, I just couldn't keep doing it anymore and I stopped. Then he told me : "what's wrong? I was about to cum you know..." I answered "I'm not your fucking sex doll you know" and then I couldn't contain myself anymore and started to cry, stood up and grabbed my clothes. He was troubled and followed me, telling me "no no no no that's not what i thought, I'm sorry, don't cry" etc and kept apologizing, saying that he's stupid, lame and that he won't do it anymore and that he just realized what a jerk he was, that he would understand if I was mad at him etc, but that he doesn't want to lose me (he meant it). I forgave him after all of this.. But do you guys think that I overreacted? I thought about it all day long and I'm also afraid that he would think that I would forgive him easily for everything..

[godfatherfan]

Overreacted? yes.
Your not nearly ready for sex. At least not psychologically. This is what sex is. Sometimes your doing it together. Sometimes your just doing it for him. Believe it or not, sometimes he will be pushing himself through it just to satisfy you. I have been there plenty of times when I was just not in the mood but did it anyway. The problem is, that it is exponentially harder for men to do it when we don't feel like it. women just have to lay there. or suck a bit. guys have to get and maintain an erection. when your young that is easy, that won't be that way forever. when guys get older the time it takes between to get hard again gets a lot longer. I rarely want to have sex more then once a day. Or I should say I usually WANT to, but the little guy doesn't have it in him.
You either need to understand this is how a relationship with sex works, or you need to stop having sex until you can handle that part of it.

[dogbert444]

This is par for the course when you cash in your v-card before you are really ready. These sorts of thing should be discussed way before you actually do it, and before you lose your virginity. Have you discussed other forms of sex like him giving you oral, like anal sex. You both should know exactly what each other will accept or reject.

I don't think you over reacted. I thing you just gave in to incredible pressure to try what you did. I also think it's true that he just wanted to finish, regardless of your feelings. I'm afraid there are many men like that. Not all, but some, especially when they're inexperienced.

[Vesuvius87]

What he did was really sexual assault. He basically clearly knew you were uncomfortable but was focus on only his needs. He didn't care about your feelings.

I would dumb him.

[Vesuvius87]

Any man that cares about finishing his needs and not your feelings isn't worth it.

[ZellRocx666]

He's a douchebag, leave him. He FORCED you to do something you did NOT want to. That's wrong. Won't call it rape but he sounds like a dangerous man.

[alfonsosloan45]

She wasn't forced into anything. She made a choice.

[dogbert444]

@alfonsosloan45 Under unreasonable pressure.

[ZellRocx666]

@alfonsosloan45 : 'I didn't really want to but he kept pressuring me like "you can do this right? Pleaaaase" "hey baby, please? Just finish it already", so I started doing so, forcing myself into it. I felt horrible, as if I was his sextoy, as if he only sees me as someone who can pleasure him' Read this

[alfonsosloan45]

Yes, but you still made the decision to accept his pressure. He didn't force your head into his crotch. He didn't go inside your head to change your mind. You changed it do to his pressure but you still made the decision.

[ZellRocx666]

@alfonsosloan45 : key words : 'under pressure' but yeah I agree with you.

[alfonsosloan45]

Yes, I admit that he pressured you but that isn't rape because you still said yes. Rape is being forced.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he was too horny but he admitted he was wrong so stop thinking about it :) x