Why do I want someone to hurt me?

[Anonymous]

I was raped , and ever since being a victim of rape by someone I knew , I have been having strange feelings. Especially sexually. I've been wanting during sex , for someone to be extremely rough. Consensually of course. But someone to choke me , hit me , leave marks all over me , call me degrading names. Even not sexually , I just sometimes get feelings of wanting a guy to hurt me. It's like I like the pain. I don't like it and that's why I like it. It's almost as if I enjoy hurting myself , especially sexually now. Used to before this , I did like rough sex. But i always craved passion , and someone to show me love and be sweet to me. But I've never wanted anything like this. Have I went crazy? What's wrong with me?

[heywat]

I've been in the same position as you! Making love seems stupid to me. I need it rough to get off. The harder the better! It's a reaction your brain has formed. In your brain it takes your abuse and wants to relive it in a way where you have the power and control. Therapy is the best way to deal

[heywat]

Thanks for MHO

[Asker]

Anytime :)

[etaine2908]

Its just preference. Don't worry too much about it. Many girls are like that actually.

[AustinMan]

There's nothing wrong with you. It sounds like maybe you're having trouble processing what happened to you. I'm so sorry you were assaulted. Have you gotten any therapy?

[AustinMan]

Did you get some help? If, in the therapeutic process, you find that you're a masochist sexually, there's nothing wrong with that, but it needs to come from a healthy place. Does that make sense?

[Asker]

Yes I completely agree. I just don't feel like it's healthy because I never really wanted this before. It just started after this. It's almost like I feel " reliving it " or having someone treat me that way makes me feel better. But that's not a healthy way to get over something. I am just so angry I take it out on myself

[AustinMan]

So why won't you get yourself some help?

[Asker]

I am already

[AustinMan]

Good for you. Bring this up with your therapist, please.

[chriss]

you are suffering from rape trauma syndrome so don't worry it will take time to heal it can take up to 6 months

[ibodi]

If you dont mind, You can go to see psychologist. I dont know which situation is right to female. I had seen very stange criminal cases on females like you. Sometimes I can feel what make it contradiction but forget it soon. I think something hide on humen mind.
However I believe that go to see psychologist to see your problem that will make you better, beyond the behavior you like. Cause it is like you can choose to be hurted.
The feeling is better than the behavior that you dont know.

[echoes29]

Because that's what you like. Nothing to be ashamed of. Taboos are taboos for a reason. Nothing is wrong with you. You need to be less insecure. I know easier said than done. Just tell yourself you don't care what others say or think is right or wrong with what turns you on. It's you. Not them. Every single human being has things that make them feel good. I'm not about to say they shouldn't like it. I'm not them. It's a lot like Religion. Sorry if I offended you with that last comment.

[FakeName123]

It is quite normal. It means your relation to your own sexuality still hasn't recovered from that incident and thus comes out distorted. Your best bet is to really dig deeper into the topic of what happened there. Learn to forgive yourself, to overcome, to let go.

And yes, I am aware those sound easy with words while they obviously aren't easy - but once you do progress in getting better with said incident, the drive and desire of wanting to get hurt will decrease.

[orphan]

if u wanna be raped in in the fashion y'all desire.. u 'd have to time travel back in time... before the roman empire.

[IceEverest]

Even tons of girls who are not raped like it that way... so its normal I suppose