I am Addicted to My Vibrator! Help?

[Anonymous]

So I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Our sex life is normal, we have normal sex, anal, oral, and etc. but I have never been able to "orgasm" during our sex. It'll feel good but I can't get that climax. Before I dated him I dated other people but it never lasted to where we had sex or anything. I was that young "want to have sex before marriage hopeless romantic" type before. So my 4 years boyfriend now was my first. Before I dated him I would always masterbate, I discovered porn and that you can use a back massager as a clit vibrator at like 14 years old. I didn't date or have sex with my boyfriend till I was at age 21. So bassically thats 7 years of masterbating with fingers and a back massager. My boyfriend says I am addicted to my vibrator, at first I was indenial but I thought about it and I am masterbating on average like the minimum twice a day almost everyday. But there was a handful of times where I would do it 3 to 8 times a day. I was thinking of leaving the vibrator and buying a dildo so I could practice and figure out what can make me orgasm with just a dick. But it's so hard since my brain is use to the massager. Any advice to anyone who was in my shoes or can help? Thanks.

[Browneye57]

It is not uncommon to not reach climax with PIV. The majority of women need direct clitoral stimulation. Either of you could provide this while PIV as an adjunct.

No, there's nothing wrong with you. On the contrary, the better you are at pleasuring yourself the better you can show your partner what you need and want.

Try having him bring you to climax a time or two in foreplay, before the PIV starts.

Frequency isn't a problem either. You've found something that feels good - there's nothing wrong with that. And no, you're not 'de-sensitized', you're re-sensitized.

Putting a dildo in your vagina is not going to make you cum. Likely his penis isn't going to either.

[johnanamoly]

It is possible that you are desensitized down there because of the vibrators, you need harder and more stimulation to orgasm. It goes with porn stars, they ore they have sex, the more they need to make them orgasm, that was true with guys and girls.

[Asker]

Yeah I figured and was afraid of that when it came to light. I always used it because I never thought about "desensitize" back then, all I thought was it was easy and felt good. Do you think it is possible if I leave it alone and try another method I can sensitize myself again?

[samanthabee]

John is right on with this. Same thing happened to my friend. She has her boyfriend use vib on here when they have sex. That solution seems to work for them.

[johnanamoly]

Yes, as Samantha says, try to not use it as much, ween yourself off of it, my suggestion, and forgive me for being personal, instead of going for the goal of orgasming, use your fingers and get yourself close then stop and repeat this a few times, its supposed to enhance the orgasm, and take your time, don't rush it, maybe spend 30 minutes and explore your area's find other places where it feels good, maybe that will help... I am not an expert on a Womans anatomy but I dated a girl who never orgasmed and we came close a few times and I noticed the best things we did was to take our time.

[Asker]

I will definitely try this for sure. Yes now that I think about it I do rush to get that O moment when using the vibrator and never really take my time since my body already knows how to work it with the massager but I will try your method for sure with taking my time and the stop and repeat. It will be hard for me, but if it will help me in reaching my goal in O'ing with my boyfriend I will refraining from using the vibrator. (I just put it away and I'm already like "I need it" feeling, I'm too dependent on it..)

[johnanamoly]

Maybe you should throw it away. But that is cold turkey and that may not be wise, you will just find something else to get addicted to.

[johnanamoly]

Maybe have your boyfriend try some new things.

[Asker]

I don't think I can bring myself to throw it away haha. Definitely would be cold turkey for me. It's like my release when I'm stress and etc and was depended on it for years. But I will take the steps in not using it for awhile. I probably will get a dildo and once I can find how to get off on that my brain can remember and then it's easy to O to it afterwards.

[johnanamoly]

Have you tried anal stimulation?

[Asker]

We've had anal sex, but I've never tried toys with anal or anything no. It feels good like a pressure kind of good but no never tried to stimulate it alone or anything.

[johnanamoly]

well, maybe stimulate the anus and vagina at the same time? sorry to say this out loud... LOL! I don't mean to embarrass you.

[Asker]

Haha! It's fine, I don't get embarrass so much when it comes to sexuality and etc, I mean if I'm doing all this it wouldn't be a surprise lol. But I never really thought of doing that maybe I will give it a try since I don't know how I would feel if both are simulated at the same time. Who knows? It might show me a whole new world lol.

[johnanamoly]

A butt plug would be more comfortable, you just need a little stimulation down there to get the effect, but you may get addicted to that, and then you're on your own... LOL!

[Asker]

I laughed a little too hard with this comment haha. I hopefully I don't lol I am already trying to overcome this current addiction as it is. But we'll see how it goes, I guess first I have to force my body not to use the massager then try different new toys and ways to get off that involve a penis.

[johnanamoly]

If you want to follow me, I can give you other suggestions. I feel embarrassed putting them on here.

[Asker]

Okay I will! Thanks for your advice!

[johnanamoly]

you're welcome

[bdoran22]

wow i wish i have girl like you in my life. I would love to see sex toys in the bed room or her use one at all. I would have him use it on you or try buying different toys.
He should do more for-play and finger you or lick you more. Buy a new toy and invited him into using it with you. A new toy together might be away to get you to climax, and he will enjoy have fun with you.

[Asker]

Haha trust me, they are out there, more then you think. And yeah we are looking up some toys to try where while having sex I can also stimulate myself as well and see how that goes.

[bdoran22]

You should used the vibrated when having sex, easy if you laying down, dose he know that you don't climax or is that a secret.

[Asker]

Probably buy a bullet toy? Yeah something that vibrates is probably a must for me and no it's not a secret he knows, he says the reason I can't O in sex is cause I am addicted to the massager haha. He's willing to try other toys to see what can get me to that O point during sex.

[bdoran22]

Its great to know that he knows, hahaha some women dont get the O factor during sex. some do. I get something bigger then a bullet, or longer at-least and vibrates. well good luck have fun

[Brucehendrick]

Well not a lot of girls can orgasm or cum with just penetration alone i personally like to eat my girl out until she cums and orgasms first and then fuck she loves it way more when we have sex

[Asadi]

u should abstain from masturbation for a day or two and then try ur boyfriend

[Asker]

It's hard for me to be abstinence for one to two days but I will give it a shot, but I have to hide my massager or something haha.

[Asadi]

i dont think any other way will help u

[johnanamoly]

Why not try a vibrating cock ring?

[Asker]

@johnanamoly Do cock rings really work? I'll look into it while I'm shopping for toys.

[johnanamoly]

Yes, I have tried them before, the vibrator part of the cock ring hits the clitoris, fun fun fun!

[sun1993]

I have a serious question from you...
With these conditions and awareness of addiction, if you go back, will you use these devices again?
Don't you say in your subconscious that aaaaah I wish I had never experienced this damet tools?
So what is your advice to people who have not used these devices yet?

[Anonymous]

My girl is just like you - unable to orgasm without vibration. She has never seen porn and does not masturbate. Our solution is for me to stimulate her manually and position the vibrator (Hitachi's are the Hum-Vees of vibrators BTW) on the back of my hand. Occasionally I'll vibrate her directly and run the vibrator over her and on to the base of my penis (yes I like). What gets her off is my vibrating fingers on her and she seldom fails to finish.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice I will try it, I probably will have to buy something like a dildo or dildo vibrator to see if I can get off with vibrating inside. So far I feel I get off more if its the outside vibration or clit vibrating.