I am halfway through being 21 and I have never had a girlfriend. I can say, however, that I have lost my virginity (thank God!) but I was 20 and she was a younger girl.
I want to be a girl's first love before it becomes too late, but if I pursue a girl mainly to be her first love, then I am defeating the purpose because it would mostly be about being a girl's first love more so than it would be about her as an individual. Get what I am saying?
This is sort of like the girl whose virginity I took. It was mostly about taking a girl's virginity in general more than it was about her. But if she would of known that, the feelings she experienced towards me would of been different, thus, I would of never had feelings for her. It would of disrupted the entire sequence of events and completely removing the meaning of it.