Does my boyfriend wank over me?

I am really scared that my boyfriend wanks over me and I feel that it is disgusting. My friends call me a prude for thinking like that. But if he has: 1. Told me that he loves me. 2. Said he does nothing but think of me. 3. Mentioned how we will end up like that pottery scene in the movie "Ghost". 4. Said he could listen to my voice all day and he loved it. 5. States that I'm the most amazing and prettiest girl he has ever met. 6. Sends a lot of loving messages with 😍😘❤😉 7. Texts me almost 24/7 and panics when I don't reply immediately. 8. Is very sensitive and gets hurt easily. Does he? If he respects me, he wouldn't!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm confused. How and why is it disgusting that the person you are in a relationship with is sexually attracted to you?
    If masturbating thinking about the girl he desires is disrespectful, how much more disrespectful, based on that line of thinking, would it be if he actually has sex with you?

    I'm sorry, but 100% with your friend on this. You're being very weird and very prudish about this. It is normal to masturbate, and if he is going to masturbate, I'd think you'd rather he thought about you, the person he cared for and wanted to be with, than some porn.

  • So you don't want him to be attracted to you sexually?

    • Do you think he is? He sent me a shirtless photo but I hope he doesn't want over me. If he does, it meant he lied about his feelings and will ditch me after we have sex when the chase is over.

    • No, it means he is a healthy human being and if he wanted sex he would just go and get it (saddly its not that hard in this day and age). The fact is you cannot have a romantic relationship that does not involve lust of some kind. If a man wants a relationship, he is going to go after it, men do tend to be more strait forward about it and as I said, in our day and age if he simply wanted sex he would have no reason to invest this much into you since he could find it else where ie he is almost certaintly being genuine. You obviously have a lot of insecurities. Is their a particular reason you feel this way (like a similar experience or something)?

    • To be honest, I did have a lot of bad experience. I have seen my parents doing it when I was sleeping right next to them on bed, saw my dad's Playboy magazine, saw some sex scenes on TV when I had no idea what was going in and more. My parents never told me about it and when I went to health class, I started freaking out and didn't want to hear anything. I felt impure and dirty, I am actually scared of the guy's body parts and fluids. Didn't pay attention in health class. And disregard the question. He told me he felt embarrassed that he felt aroused when I talk to him on the phone. I was shocked and first and confirmed my suspicions were true. I didn't know what to answer and he felt really bad and hurt afterwards, telling and stuttering for me to forget it. I felt bad but I told him I understand these things are normal. And told him not to beat himself up over it and I still love him.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • This again? Have you not already asked this and had a load of replies? It really isn't your business what he does with his dick when he is alone, perhaps he would find you sharing intimate details about your relationship a violation of his trust, perhaps he would be hurt to know you think of him as disgusting.

    You have a problem with sexuality and that's YOUR problem, not his. There's nothing wrong with wanking over your bf/gf, it's normal. Thinking it's disgusting is NOT normal.

    • I guess I am trying to deny the truth and wait for people to affirm me, comfort me and say no. Most people are speaking the truth that I dont want to hear. I am still a virgin and I don't want my heart to be broken. I have heard a lot of guys have said what girls want to hear to sleep with them. Once the thrill of the chase is over, he might discard me and find another girl. He is thinking of me lustfully, how can I be sure that he really loves me and is not using me for sex? How am I different from those naked women on the internet used for gratification and discarded after?

    • Because you want to be with him. Ask a question "would you [men] be more turned on by a random naked woman or a naked woman who is sexually attracted to you?" I bet you the majority will answer the latter. You being attracted to him will make him infinitely more attractive and appealing. Your relationship, that makes you more interesting. Thinking of you wistfully is natural, if he didn't then why would you be in a relationship with him and not just platonic friends? You obviously feel more for him than just friendship. You desire him on in some level otherwise you wouldn't date him. I'm not saying you want to jump his bones, it's obvious you need to sort out these issues you have with sexuality before you start a sexual relationship with him otherwise you're going to be feeling all sorts of crazy emotions. You can never guarantee someone won't leave you, you can never guarantee someone is telling the truth. You usually have to assess the situation and go with your instincts...

    • ... but in this case your issues with sex and sexuality are going to seriously cloud your judgement. You need to look deeper into these issues. To the causes of them. Most people don't feel so awkward and distressed when thinking about these things.

  • Your friends are right. Why are you in a relationship when you're disgusted at the thought of your boyfriend having sexual thoughts about you? Masturbating to the thought of your partner is perfectly natural. It has nothing to do with him not having respect for you.

    • But that means that I am on the same level as those naked women on the internet; to be discarded after the deed is done. I have heard of guys saying what the girls need to hear, sleep with them and leave when the chase is completed and the thrill is gone. I am still a virgin, and I am scared that I might end up with a broken heart.

    • No it doesn't, how long have you been with him? If he's telling you all the things he listed, how does that even remotely compare to being on the same level as a random nude woman?

    • I have been with him for 5 months. But I am scared that he may only be after sex. I mean, we've never talked about it, but I have met guys in the past that didn't with ulterior motives. How can you tell if I guy won't ditch you after they bunk up with you?

  • You should not be mad about that. Not only does he live you but he thinks you are attractive. I would be concerned if my boyfriend didn't masturbate thinking about me. That would mean he is thinking of someone else... is that what you want?

    • Not really, but I'm still a virgin. I want to save myself for marriage because I can only give it away once and never take it back. I just want to give it to the right person I trust now. But I have heard stories of guys feeding girls what they want to hear them and leaving afterwards while the girl tries to work out what went wrong and is called "desperate" or "clingy". If they think of you in a lustful manner, how do we compare to those pornstars or if they truly want us for love?

    • I am a virgin too. I am not saving myself for marriage but I understand what you mean. The thing is we are all animals we sexual lustful desires. Most people masturbate and 99.9% of guys masturbate. They are not going to masturbate to a pile of dirt so they masturbate to things they think are sexy. He thinks you are sexy, therefore most likely he masturbated thinking of you. Just because someone thinks of you as a sexy person does not mean they do not value the other things about you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 14
  • Like any healthy guy he is 99.9% likely to masturbate. Do you want him to not think of you when he does? That would mean he is thinking of other women. Which would mean you are not so high on his list.

    • Do you think he would think of me? I'm still a virgin and I think I migh5 be asexual. I don't care if he wanks. If he wanks over me that meant he lied to me. He said he loves me because it would be easier to coax me into sex and ditch me afterwards when the thrill is gone and the chase is over. How am I different to those prostitutes or naked women on the internet?

    • Nothing that you listed above would be a lie if he thinks of you sexually, too. If all those things are true, then he would very likely contain his sexual interest to you, also. And that does not makes any of those things less true.

    • We (thankfully) never got to the topic yet. I had bad experience with guys, and some uncomfortable and regrettable decisions I have got myself into too. But how am I any different to any random women guys get off to from the internet? We serve them for gratification? I feel like I am on the same wavelength as those pornstars.

  • of course he does because he is a normal human being. You are a prude

    • But the thing is, I don't want him to say what I want to hear in order to get me into bed and walk away. I have heard many stories like this and when the girls try to find out what happened, they are labelled clingy or crazy. I am still a virgin and I can only give it away once and never take it back. I don't want my heart to be broken.

    • Break up with your boyfriend because he deserves someone who will trust him and you definitely don't have an inkling of trust in him.

  • You are not mature enough for a relationship if you honestly believe that.

    • But a guy will say what a girl wants to hear in order to sleep with them. And I don't want to end up like those girls, that are called clingy or crazy because they want to find out what happened.

    • You just proved my point again, you just want him to lie to you so you can live in your ideal little world, that's not a wise idea.

    • This so much. Asker is a dramaqueen with a very negative view of guys and a naive thinking of sexuality. Clearly not ready for a relationship.

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  • Yes, and you ARE a prude. Being found sexually attractive is a compliment. If that disgusts you, you shouldn't be in a relationship yet, as you are not mature enough for one; and you are just leading him on and lying to him.

    • It would be weird if he didn't.

  • His mind. His dick. Suck it up buttercup.

    • That means that he is only after sex from me :( I have heard girls being lied into sleeping with a guy and further shortly after.

    • No it doesn't lol. Sex is part of a relationship, it's a good thing that he wants you. As long as he treats you respectfully then it's fine.

    • How do I know if he is after love or just sex?

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  • You can't take it as disrespectful or disgusting, it's 100% a normal thing to do for a guy. You have to change your view of it somehow. You also don't have to know about it. If he tells you he masturbates to you just say to him that you don't want to know about it. Keep it to himself. His masturbating has NOTHING to do with respect for you, absolutely NOTHING. See a sex therapist or something. That's like us telling you that the thoughts you have when you like a guy are disgusting and if you had respect for us they would never cross your mind at all... it's ridiculous and you can't control it, just like we can't control our attraction or desire/need to masturbate. It's human nature.

    • If he really loves and respects me, he wouldn't think of me in a lustful way. Because basically if he wanks over me, all he wants is sex. Thing is, I dont care if he wanks in general, but over me, I just feel weirded out. He sent me a shirtless photo and I don't know what it means...

    • Well yes, photos aren't necessary. For those people yes I agree with you.

    • It's normal for guys to think of women in a lustful way though, if we didn't babies would never happen. But yes the guys that are just out for sex and sending pics etc aren't necessary.

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  • seriously girl grow a pair of course he does would you rather he wank for you or the girl from work he has a crush on

    • But that means I am casual material. You know those naked sexy women on the internet? Men dispose them after using their videos to get themselves off. I am sinking low to those levels and after I am used the same way, the thrill of the chase is over and he may ditch me. I heard a lot of guys lying to girls just to sleep and ditch them after. I'm a virgin and I don't want that to happen.

    • I'll tell you a secret... deep down all guys want sex, one of the reason we like a girl si because she is attractive and sex with her is going to be good, so if you have this mentality that a guy you're dating shouldn't be masturbating thinking of you... good luck ever finding a guy to date, cause they will never be a guy who doesn't think of you when playing with his junk, its just a fact of life, you date him and he likes you so obviously he's gonna be wanking to you not some random girl he knows you and lieks you so its a turn on for him, since you never had sex he doesn't really seem like he wants to leave you anytime soon, if you have sex way too fast he will be gone but for the most part, sex is very important and very high up the list.

    • I am glad he never even reached that topic. I think I will highly feel uncomfortable. I had a painful and negative experience in the past that shattered me. Sex was never positive to me, I had such a weird childhood. He says he doesn't want to do things that makes me feel uncomfortable. He has opened up to me and became more vulnerable, showing his sensitive side. I like this because he is a military guy, and they in the exterior, are stoic, composed and strong. I think I should just wait till marriage to be on the safe side.

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  • Masturbating is 100% normal for guys and for girls. We all do it.
    I guess he isn't only one 'thinking' about you. Normal, no drama. Just accept the reallities of life.
    He could just as well think about other girls.
    Would you prefer that? Really?

    • But this clearly shows that he only wants sex from me. After see, he might ditch me because the chase is done and the thrill is gone. He might even get a new girl. I'm still a virgin and I think I might be asexual. What do you mean he's not the only one? Oh yeah, old perverted farts across the street of course -_-

    • I don't care if he wanks. We are currently in a LDR and I understand everybody has needs. But over me, I feel weirded out. Are things only normal because most people do it?

    • It shows he's not asexual and thus would also like to get sex (from you.) Thst's the way humsns are. Asexuality is NOT the default condition of humans or there wouldn't be humans left on Earth.

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  • This guy clearly loves you with all his heart, and you're upset that me might be jacking off to you? It's pretty clear that *you* don't respect *him*!

  • "If he respects me he wouldn't [masturbate to thoughts of me]!"

    Riiiiight...

    Since all guys masturbates, what you just said there was basically "If he respects me, he would masturbate to other random strangers."

    You need help. The professional kind.

    • Isn't that what most men do? Look at naked women on the internet that may as well he strangers and discard them shortly after use. T9 be disposed of. If I sink to that level, it can't be good. He may use me for that purpose and discard me once the chase is finished and the thrill is gone. I know a lot of guys that trick girls into sleeping with them and leaving them shortly after. I am still a virgin and I don't want this to happen.

    • Just go see a professional counselor. You are so far off base, the internet is not the right place for you to be seeking advice.

    • But that isn't right. He may be saying things I want to hear and after sleeping with me, ditch me. A lot if girls were convinced by guys who they thought loved them. They were ditched after the encounter and when they try to find out what has gone wrong, they are regarded as clingy or crazy.

  • Eh, :/ even if he does, I don't see how it is any of your business.

    • It is. If so, it means after the chase, he will ditch me for other girls. If he truly respects me, he wouldn't think of me the same way women are naked on the internet. It means I am on the same grade as those prostitutes.

    • "After the chase" - Lol "If he truly respects me" - don't judge others based on your standards.

  • AHHH HE TOUCH HIS PEEPEE OVER MEEEMEE

    • Over you 0_0?

  • They all do, it is normal

    • Then it means he only wants sex from me and after giving it to him, he will ditch me when the chase is finished and find another girl?

    • Depends on your relation, don't you want sex also?

  • you should be flattered if he does.

    • Why? I mean if it is lustful thinking, does this mean he's going to leave after sleeping with me? After saying what I want to hear and when the thrill of the chase is over? I am still a virgin, I can only give it once and never take it back. I don't want my heart to be broken.

  • he probably does wank over you. he probably wants to fuck you and he probably cannot wait. that is reality, most guys are that way inclined. he may respect you and all the lovely things mentioned. wank he is going to wank though, be he thinking of you or not.

    • Does this mean he is only in for the chase and ditch me afterwards? I've implied I am a virgin to him. A lot of girls were lied to by guys and told the things they want to hear so they can get into bed with them. And the next day, they leave. When the girls tries to find out what has happened, they are labelled as clingy or crazy. I don't want to get my heart broken.

    • not to say he is going to ditch you. in fact if you are not ready to fuck him then do not. all I am saying is that he probably does fantasize over doing you, fantasize over you and wank thinking of you. it is quite normal to wank thinking over your girlfriend.

    • But you thought of other women too right, and not just your girlfriend? How are we different to those pornstars you get off the internet?

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  • Your the biggest prude on the planet.

    • I take pride in that :) Guinness world of records, here I come!

    • Enjoy single life with your cats

  • um... If he was attracted to you then he would. You're his girlfriend. Why wouldn't he think about you? It's better than him getting off to random girls off a computer screen.

    • I know. But how what me and those random girls on the screen and I have in common is getting him off his lustful (?) thoughts. How am I different from them? How can I differentiate between a guy who wants love or a casual fling?

    • Dude. He loves you. He TELLS you he loves you. Why don't you believe him? Humans get horny. It's a regular thing. But he has someone he loves who he can share both regular and intimate moments with. Flings? He wouldn't be saying half the shit he does. He wouldn't even be your boyfriend. If all he wanted from you was sex then he wouldn't have made that effort.

  • Yeah he probably does I think of my girlfriend all the time when I do it

    • How can you be sure? It might be naked women on the internet or other people?