Boyfriend asked about 3somes and I'm confused?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have amazing sex and we like trying new things. Recently, He asked me about trying a threesome and thinks both MMF or FFM would be hot. He thinks it'd be so hot to see me going down on another guy while he's doing me from behind but he doesn't wanna do anything with the guy. I told him I've never thought of being with another guy except him and I don't think I'd like the idea of sharing him with another woman. I told him I haven't thought of 3somes before and would have to really think this through before I commit to trying it. And then he said, it's a fantasy he's had and if it were to happen, he wants it to be with me and not another girl. I don't get what he means by that because doesn't a 3some (if FFM) involve another girl as well? And how would MMF work if he doesn't wanna do anything with the guy (not that I'd want him to either but just confused)? He's also not into one night stands or casual flings so I don't understand why he's asking for a 3some? We've since dropped that subject since he sensed that I'm not comfortable with it but at the same time, I'm afraid I might be holding him back from what he wants, although this doesn't mean I'll force myself to do something I'm not comfortable doing. Any thoughts on this would be welcomed!

[ksoma]

it seems to me there are two kinds of people who want to be in a threesome: the kind that would never do it with someone they really cared about, and the kind that would ONLY do it with someone they really cared about.

I can't say about the MMF situation, because I have no interest in that, so everything is guesswork. But for FFM? it is likely more about you and he sharing another person you could both be attracted to more than it is about him having a chance to be with another girl. That's why he wants it with you. It's about him, and the person he loves, sharing this thing together. And while, in the ideal threesome, everyone has some interaction with everyone else, I would wager he gets off more on the thought of you with another woman than on him getting a legitimate chance to touch another woman.

However, even if I am 100% right, and you understand and respect why he would want one, it is still up to you. You should never feel pressured into something you are not comfortable with. If strict monogamy is what you want, he should accept it. Everyone has a fantasy they never live out, and a lot of us never live it out because we understand that the person we choose to love and be with just does not share that fantasy. So accept that he wants it, but that doesn't mean you have to give it to him.

[Anonymous]

A MMF threesome does not necessarily involve male-male sex. It can involve you having sex with the other guy and then having sex with your boyfriend, it can involve you switching back and forth giving both of the guys oral sex or hand jobs, you giving one guy oral sex while the other guy has sex with you doggy style, you getting on top of one guy for vaginal penetration while the other guy gets behind you and gives you anal sex, you one top of one guy in a 69 while the other guy gets behind you and penetrates you vaginally or anally, one guy giving you oral while another guy sucks your nipples, and there are other possibilities.

Having a threesome to please him if you aren't comfortable with it has a high probability of causing you two to break up your relationship. If he wants the double penetration thing and you are okay with anal sex, consider having him use a vibrator and his penis to get both orifices at the same time. Or consider role play where you pretend to be another girl. . . but even that has some chance of causing you to become jealous or not trust him.

[Asker]

Thank you for the in depth explanation. What about FFM? Does it mean he has to get it on with her as well? That is what I would dread... Him having sex with another girl. That alone is something I can't even bring myself to think about let alone seeing it happening in front of me :( Doesn't someone usually get left out? Yea, I guess it isn't for me then.

[Opinion Owner]

Many guys fantasize about watching two girls getting it on, but even in their fantasies, the guy usually joins in on the action. It's possible that he wants a FFM just to watch you with another girl but he probably has visions of doing both of you. No one necessarily needs to be left out; one girl can get on top and have PIV sex while the other straddles his face for oral sex. However, it doesn't sound like any of that matters because you don't want a threesome. It is important for you to let him know that it is okay to express his fantasies and that you won't reject him just because he suggests something that you don't want to do. You might try to make sure that you indulge some other fantasy in the very near future, like being blindfolded and tied to the bed, or role play, or something else that gets him aroused.

[Asker]

Yes, I've indulged in many of his fantasies already... Like being tied up and blindfolded while he has his complete way with me, which we both enjoy... Having sex in the outdoors, only to name a few. But I can't bring myself to say yes to a 3some.

[CaseyCan18]

My boyfriend just asked if I would participate in a threesome, I told him I would, but I think my time with him is ending. Which is fine, I figured one last hurrah, but when I guy asks to open the relationship it usually means its the end or they are unhappy thinking that bringing in a third will help... well, it doesn't. Maybe time to break up with him.

[JuicyBrain]

"I don't get what he means by that because doesn't a 3some (if FFM) involve another girl as well?"

He would still be going out with you, not her. She would mean nothing to him. In his imagination, the other girl is just a tool, a sex toy. Ditto for the other guy. He doesn't want to do anything sexual to the guy, he just wants to see you having fun with the other guy.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. That makes sense. Even then, I don't think i wanna see him "getting it on" with another girl :( it would hurt me.

[JuicyBrain]

That's because you are afraid he would like it more with her and decide to get with her instead of you. How likely do you think this is?

[Asker]

Yes, that and I'm a one-man type of woman. Im not into sharing or swapping partners. I don't know how likely, tbh, because there are a few factors. For example, we both have a great emotional connection, which means more to me than anything else but this depends on what he prioritizes as well... If that connection also means more to him than anything else. I don't know how to put that in words.

[Asker]

Also, he was just talking to me about it... I don't know if he already has some girl in mind or what, which I doubt he does but then again, I don't know. I felt like jokingly saying, "you make it sound like you already have a girl in mind for this" but I didn't say it cos I was afraid of what he might respond.

[JuicyBrain]

I think he might not have thought it out that far. He was just fantasizing out loud.

[Asker]

I think so too. Thanks again for your input. Appreciate it!

[Kreneman]

I think your a great woman, and your man is lucky to have you. I know a lot people especially on GAG are into a lot of freaky things but its not really worth it when you have to a third or more party.

[sicosico]

Insist on MMF if he wants it and you are into it, lots of fun

[ChefDavid]

My wife and I have had 3somes both ways. My wife is not bi but doesn't mind having another woman perform oral sex on her. That has happened while I'm performing oral on, or having intercourse with the other woman. Once I was lying on my back with my wife riding my cock and another woman riding my face. They were facing each other and ended up hugging as they were both orgasming at the same time. Neither were bi. I have banged my wife while she was sucking another mans cock and vice versa. There are a lot of things straight people can do in a threesome.

[Mybeachlife88]

Which would you persobally enjoy more? Ffm, or mmf?

[Asker]

I think, neither. This has never even crossed my mind before, tbh. I don't wanna be with another guy but him and I don't wanna share him with another woman :(

[Mybeachlife88]

Exclude him from the thought process... which would you probably enjoy more

[Anonymous]

Well, I disagree with ksoma - I think there are guys out there that would never ask their girlfriends for threesomes, because they love her too much to share her.

And then there are the guys that are in a relationships where they just don't give a fuck about the girl they are supposedly "so in love with"