Why do I want bad things to happen to me?

Anonymous
I constantly wish that bad things will happen to me, I have even fantasized about it before. For example, I think about being raped, abused, bullied, being diagnosed with life- threatening illnesses and more. No, I have never been abused or anything like that. I feel like I think this because I want attention and this makes me even want it more because then I feel like I deserve it. I don't know.
Why do I want bad things to happen to me?
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