What ARE signs you're sexually compatible with someone?

And I mean, BEFORE you have sex with said person. I've never had sex before, therefore I don't know if there's any way to tell how sexually compatible you are with someone. So, yeah. What do you guys think?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Oh I love this question. A high level of mutual attraction is going to go a very long way. If being in their presence makes you feel like you're high on something, then there's a lot of good physical chemistry going on.

    Another aspect is what kind of fetishes, styles, and sexual interests you two have that complement eachother or that you share. Obviously there is no 100% way to know this without actually having sex with them and seeing what happens. Considering you have never had sex, you probably won't even realize all of what you are actually interested in. But consider what you do know about your own interests and sexuality, what do you like, what are your turn ons, and what are you like, to the best of your knowledge?

    As for the other person you can actually gather a lot from the way a person flirts, and without getting into how to read this from that, the simple answer is if you like how they flirt then you will probably like what they are like in bed. But you could even discuss sexual interests with them if you wanted. I guess it depends on the relationship you have with them.

    It's important to really realize these things because it's easy to think someone looks good and just image whatever you want happening with them or to be attracted and not really think about sex in any detail. As a simple example (and terrible, apparently), someone who will very abruptly make compliments or comments of a sexual nature is probably going to be similarly compulsive in bed - just grabbing this or that as they desire it. That's really a crap example. But what I'm trying to get at is that wherever you imagine a typical flirting exchange going is where the sex will go. They're not hiding some secret Casanova on you, which is definitely a misconception I had before actually having sex.

    • So, what you see is what you get pretty much? Like, how the person flirts is probably similar to how they are in bed? Nice answer by the way, very thorough :)

  • I think sexual compatibility can call under the umbrella term of having good compatibility with someone overall. Where many things just come effortlessly, liking voicing your concerns, not worrying what they'll think of you or that they'll think you're weird, etc..

    Sexual compatibility, to me, largely consists of just wanting each other. With some people, you're fine just chatting for ages, with no desire to take things further. Or you may have a desire, but it's not any sort of pressing issue. Whereas with others, you'll almost feel like you're driven to a frenzied state if you go for too long without getting physical with them. Not that you don't enjoy just chatting and whatnot, but the literal chemistry gets overpowering pretty quick.

    When it comes to actual sexual activities, you guys just click. Nothing feels weird or awkward with each other. Your bodies get in sync with pretty little effort or struggle from either partner.

    • Thanks for your opinion :)

  • It may sound lame but I have personal space issues. Somehow even if I don't realize it quite yet even on a first date in he encroaches into my bubble I dont even notice. I notice with EVERYONE who I'm not close with but subconsciously. If they step in I step back.

    The kiss usually seals the deal if it's right. It's got to be because of mutual attraction. The kiss is different and somehow before the kiss I find myself walking hand in hand with him.

    All of that said sex the first time can be not so great due to nerves. But after that it is just very intimate and people resent the PDA even though it didn't even register to you.

    • I also have a personal space issue! That's a sign for me too, I'm willing to let him get close to me :)

    • Yep that's the first step.

Most Helpful Guys

  • There really isn't any way to tell. I matched up really well with a woman about a year ago. However, she wanted sex to be 99.5% intercourse. I am a very oral person and would rather have it 99.5% oral if I could choose. But I like at least 50/50. Now I was willing to do one for her, one for me. Since I always ate her out and gave her an orgasm. then she would suck me off for only a couple of min then want to get at it. I got to the point where I just didn't want to do anything with her. I tried to break it off after the first week together, she talked me out of it, then after the 2nd week together... finally after about 3.5 wks I ended it.

    • Fair enough. Still though, real sex is surely better, for most, no?

    • what do you mean by 'real sex'? oral sex is sex. intercourse is sex. that is a confusing comment.

    • Hmm... oral isn't actual sex though. You can have oral and technically still be a Virgin. It's just not the same as actual penetration.

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  • If you have a penis and the other person has a vagina. In your case, it's the other way around 😜

    • I agree!! Yet in my other poll, guys insisted they had to be sexually compatible with a girl... well, how can guys NOT be sexually compatible with a girl exactly?

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 14
  • If the chemistry outside the bed room is there.

    • What if physics was standing outside the room 😜

    • @igfunnyboi lol

  • how can u know that before you've had sex with them unless u both get tested?

    • unless ur talking about sexual chemistry/attraction... u can just tell when u click with someone on that level.

    • Hmm I always second guess though and can never really tell :/

    • i think it's just when that person is able to turn u on without them realising lol, or when u just find your mind wandering to those places, or when you're just getting along so well u don't wanna leave. u know? stuff like that.

  • She likes boys... and you like girls?

  • That's not easy to give a short answer to, but for me, a girl who has a similar attitude towards sex as I do seems like a fairly decent guide to sexual compatibility.

  • For me it's been if I'm reallly into them great chemistry were flirting everything is just flowing really well having a great time with them on the date which by all this I can feel the sexual tension

    • Good answer :)

    • Thanks just speaking from expierence

  • Other than talking about your likes and dislikes I don't think there's any other way to know.

  • depends what you like, that person will give it to you

  • Well really it comes down to your overall chemistry, communication etc between each other as a lot of that will translate into other things sexual or otherwise. When it comes to sexual chemistry and or attraction that's something that you should already have a feel for you can just tell when you click with someone in that way, it's a feeling of sorts or sense I guess would be the best way to put it.

  • - If we value sex the same. Like personally, I don't want sex if I'm not on a relationship. I don't wanna be someones fling or hookup and I don't want one either.

    - Chemistry. Pretty obvious.

    - Open communication. Where both of us can talk about what we like in sex and not feel awkward asking for a certain position or something.

    • in a relationship**

    • Thanks for your opinion. I'm like this too, with the waiting thing.

  • i think people should learn what words need capitalization :/. there's no way of knowing besides talking about it, but that's still a tossup

    • I know what words require capitalisation!

    • sorry, i meant words that need all caps.

    • Yeah, and that's what I mean too. I wanted to emphasise those particular words.

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  • Dance well (i. e. sexually) together (hence why clubs are great to meet ppl)
    Motivated into fitness and improving yourself and have a nice body (hence why gyms are great to meet ppl)

  • you can´t know. that´s why i don´t think it´s clever to wait till marriage.

    • I can see your point. However, I've been raised to wait till marriage, so I have my doubts.

    • that´s your decision but as long as you are aware of what can happen, it´s still not dumb to decide this way. you have to know what you want and to know what is good for you. i can respect that decision as long as you know what you´re doing.

    • I mean, I'm saying that I do doubt the waiting thing. It scares me to death not knowing if we'd be compatible or not, which is kinda why I asked this question :/

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  • No way for me to tell until i've been in bed with them a few times.

    • Really?

    • yeah... sorry..

    • Surely there's gor to be other ways!

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  • Discusss your fantasies with him , even your wierdest fantasies, if he likes them and understands how they feel and why you like them and even impresses you that he is into your fantasies even more than you, not only accepting them and doing them for you
    Still sexual compatability importance differ from one to another

  • If you enjoy the taste of her pussy

  • There isn't really a way to tell fully if you are but if the guy gets an erection near around the same time as the girl gets a small tingly feeling in her stomach (When her body is sending eggs to the ovaries) it is pretty rare for the girl to have it happen without needing to do the nasties but it has happened to me before and I met the guy at the beginning of the school year and I have liked him the entire year and he has liked me this entire year and we have talked about getting married quiet abit but we haven't done the nasties cause we both aren't ready yet but if you are and you want to and he wants to then go and try it out and see if you like it and ask for his opinion on it too.

    • See, when I meet this guy, we hugged. He got an erection and I got the weirdest feeling in my stomach/my vagina started pulsing a little. It was strange :S

  • You would need to mesure his penis size and compare it to your pussy and see if it fits

  • It's a challenge, because a lot of people say one thing and do another.

    But it would help to know how often they want to be sexual, how they really want to behave when one is horny and the other isn't, what kind of sex acts and what sexual -tone- they like.

    • I really do think when you hear about 'sexual incompatibility' that's usually code for wildly different sex drives or, less often, preferences.

    • Really? I never actually thought of it that way.

  • Emmm... Communication.
    Ask them questions about their sex drive and libido, their preferences, likes and dislikes, possible kinks and fetishes. What they'd like to try and how far they are willing to go. How open they are to experimenting... stuff like that.
    If possible, making out, some touching and cuddling can also help to discover how their body feels to you and how attracted you feel.