Should I ask him to delete our sex tape?

[Anonymous]

2 years ago my friend flew in and we went bar hopping all night, I met many of his affluent friends, made some myself, and I got especially wasted. He's a stand up guy, he's older, and we've known eachother for 10 years. We went back to his hotel for a quicky before going back out. Thing is, while I was giving him head and wasted out of my mind, he was recording me. I played it up for the camera and he sent it to me a week later. Well, I joked and said not to post it on PinkMeth just in case I get famous but it always really bothered me because I'm not that kind of girl and have never done that before. If his camera gets stolen, then who knows what can happen. Today I sent a message saying I need him to do something for me and now I'm waiting for a response so I can tell him to delete it. Is this a practical request considering I won't know if he actually did?

[redeyemindtricks]

Man, everyone else on this thread is so overly worked up about this...

3 things.

1)
You said, unequivocally enough, that "he's a stand-up guy". That, all by itself, should be enough to put yr mind largely at ease.

2)
"If his camera gets stolen, then who knows what can happen."
^^ If someone STEALS a piece of technology, then, the first thing the thief will do -- if the thief has any brains at all -- is WIPE IT CLEAN.
Definitely not upload random videos of random strangers onto the internet (lol).
I mean... if someone's going to make use of random stolen technology, then, the point is presumably NOT to get caught -- which would entail just wiping the data off the device ASAP. Without even looking at it. Definitely not exposing it and uploading it where it can leave an electronic paper trail right back to the thief.

3)
Even in a worst-case scenario -- in the IMPOSSIBLY UNLIKELY scenario that this thing somehow leaked out onto the internet -- the consequences would still be far from dire.
I mean, I'm assuming yr name has some sort of non-negligible Google footprint associated with it, right? So, it's not like anyone would just find this at random, even if it WERE uploaded onto the internet. (How often does anyone search past page 1 or 2 of Google? Basically never ever ever.)
... and even then, we're talking about something that has a probability close to zero in the first place.

You are worrying about something that there's just no need to worry about, at all. Rest easy babe.

[tattooedhandfet]

You will never know
But
Since he didn't have your consent to record you can sue him civaly for distribution of it of he so happens to show anyone
All ya would have to do is suepena everyone involved
Would they purge themselves for him?

[Asker]

No, they would not. I would never know unless one of them got comfortable enough to hint at it. It was hot stuff. I could sue even though it wasn't hidden? I was black out drunk that night. I looked up and the thing was already on but I continued anyway :\

[tattooedhandfet]

Might be tough to prove you were blackout drunk if you appear coherent during the act...

[Asker]

Our mutual friends remember that I was that night and knew we fucked because I came back with a different shirt on. I doubt I would need to sue but for how common knowledge it was that I was so bad, it'd be easy to trick them into saying it, like "heyyy, remember when we met that night and I didn't remember even meeting you?" "oh yea!!". Eh, this sucks (no pun).

[tattooedhandfet]

I don't understand what you're trying to say 😕

[Asker]

You said I wouldn't be able to prove I was black out drunk and I explained how everyone knew I was because I didn't remember even meeting some of them before and after going to the hotel. So, if I needed to sue, all I'd have to do is ask them if they remember how I was when we met. Anyway, he just messaged me back and I'm beyond nervous about how to bring it up.

[tattooedhandfet]

Just tell him you want for him to get rid of it And then yes you can sue. Only if you can get these people to speak to you. Then you need names. First and Suriname. The marshals can find them to suepeona them (on pretty sure about this last statement, check with your local judical branch)

[Cmasterson]

It's total normal and acceptable for you to ask this. It's something you're now thinking of potential consequences of and not to mention not everyone wants a recording of themselves doing that in the hands of someone other than them.

[kap_nss]

Can you trust him? You will never know for sure is he completely deleted it.
The moral is when you are out of control you end up regretting thinks. Internet is full of couples having sex, recorded in home videos. Sometimes they publish the videos themselves. But even if you are ok with that, what if you break up and you start dating another guy later, and he sees the video?
Being too much in control makes us not enjoy as much, in the other hand. I guess you have to choose a way of living and accept its consequences.

[jdfarmer]

With the situation at hand, he should however that was 2 years ago. Why did you wait so long to ask him to delete?

[Asker]

Because I was trying to let it go and didn't think about it all the time. But this time, I couldn't let it go anymore.

[Tdieseler]

He said he deleted it huh... after how long again? there are copies...

[Felinegirl]

Yes, it's a very reasonable request ans he'd be a bad friend for not removing it.

[SarahsSummer]

It's a completely valid request. I'd have asked for the tape that night!

[Asker]

lol It's not a "tape". It's on a digital camera.

[SarahsSummer]

On an SD memory chip?

[GingerGuy]

You have every right to ask. Maybe he can give it to you so you can delete it (then you know it's done). Then as long as he hasn't made copies of it or already put it on the internet you're good. Hopefully he respects you enough to do this.

[Horny_Girl]

Completely reasonable request.

[abundantlyrich]

I might find it in youporn

Jk

[oldanddecrepid]

That is a relief... he sounds like a stand-up guy after all. Just be more careful and only do this with guys you know and trust well. You were lucky this time!

[oldanddecrepid]

Thanks for the MHGuy, cheers!

[worldscolide]

you can request it, but in reality he has every right to tell you no.

[worldscolide]

per your update, Glad he did the right thing.

[RationalMale]

Ironically, you want him to delete it because in part, you don't fully trust him. Yet you will have to completely take it on faith he deleted it.

[truthhammer]

" I m not that kinda girl"

I don't know how or where people draw the line lmfao

[Soulife]

I'm glad you solved your problem :)

[iFarted]

I'm sure he made backup copies. Don't be so naive

[Asker]

I'm putting my trust in him since i have no reason not to. There's officially nothing else I can do about it. I feel a weight off my shoulders right now tho.

[iFarted]

As long as you feel relieved

[Walls_and_Doors]

I'm happy that ended well.

[Zelda2]

Hii, I know that you wrote it long time ago but ı'm kinda having a similar situation so I wanted to say thanks for sharing your expirience cause I wanted to text my partner with the same question and was having some second thoughts and it made me feel like ı'm not the only one.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of you asking or him saying he did... He has a copy somewhere. We don't get rid of that shit EVER. I guarantee it.

[Asker]

So be it. I tried.

[Anonymous]

You can ask him to delete it, but how can you be sure that he will actually do it?

[Asker]

Exactly :\