Sexual Relationships
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Could you wait until marriage for sex?

I started dating a very religious guy. He's amazing by the way. Very strong faith, very educated and has a good head on his shoulders. I honestly love his spirit and his fun nature. He's a keeper. He's religious, where as I'm more spiritual. He attends church regularly, I don't have a church that I attend often, but I go to a few churches every other Sunday usually to hear the word or just tune into tv church. What I like about him is that he wants a future with me and that's not something I get very often. He wants marriage and children. I ultimately want that one day as well. He also wants to wait until marriage for everything. We've already kissed and held hands, but it's not going past that. A lot of my friends ask me how I could do that and I honestly have no issues with it. He actually was very honest from the beginning and told me exactly what he wanted. I knew what I was getting myself into. Could you wait until marriage to have sex? Yes or no? Why or why not?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Could I wait? Yes. Would I want too? No. Will I? Most likely not seeing as I doubt I'd get too involved with someone that philosophically/theologically different from me. I don't want to bash people's decisions so I won't go into why I dislike the idea of abstinence. However, I will give my personal caveats for remaining abstinent till marriage:
    1. We talk about sex a lot. In my past I've rushed into sex and had some unwanted experiences because I didn't know the other persons ideals and desires when it came to sex. I don't think abstinence should include an avoidance of discussions as well. So in an abstinent relationship I would want to get as much honest information about their sexual side as possible since I can't experience it first hand until after I've signed a legally binding contract and gave vows.
    2. Masturbation isn't restricted. It's their body so if they don't want to have sex I'll respect that but I would want the same level of respect for my decision to at least masturbate.
    3. They have to promise not to push their beliefs on me.

    If I really liked a person and they were cool with those three things I think I could tough it out. It'd be pretty frustrating but I could do it.

  • Yes, I already did. My wife already did. I was past 30 and she was younger.

    All this horse shit about "try before you buy" stuff.. please don't go by it. This is rubbish. Everything feels better and tastes better when it is forbidden. so... please read between the lines of my message.

    • I LOVEEE THIS!!!

    • I agree. It's all psychological. When you wait for something you usually appreciate it more and want to try your best to hold onto it. If you don't mind me asking, did you find that the two of you were compatible in that way?

    • @JustBanANNAz :) Thank you. I like people who appreciate that message of mine. Trust me, you are in the minority. Sad indeed...

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • I feel like my answer to this is a little bias on the fact that I didn't wait until marriage. Also, I can see that age plays a role in this decision as well. I'm in my mid-thirties and if I hadn't already have had sex, I'd no longer be waiting! Having said that, as someone who's also single (dating someone exclusively though), sex plays a huge role in my interest and wanting to see where things go. We can be on point with everything, have so much in common, and if sex sucks and can't be worked out, I wouldn't be interested. I must have a strong connection to my partner sexually and if I don't, then I'm simply not interested in anything else. For that reason I go with the "try before you buy" thought process. That may not be the case for everyone though so I completely support what works best for YOU... and that should be all you're concerned about. Plus, if you're both waiting until marriage working out those "kinks" (no pun intended) when you are married and getting good at sex would probably be a lot easier than two people who have had multiple partners.

    • To each it's own. Honestly, I asked this question to hear both sides of the fence. I really want to know both sides. I know people who did the 'try it before you buy it' and it worked for them.

  • I think sexual compatibility is really important in any relationship so it's hard for me to imagine marrying someone without having had that experience together. That being said, some are very happy in their decision to wait and it gives the marriage a lot of meaning.

    If you do wait, I would just recommend you guys talk about what each other likes and needs from sex. I just think it's good to make sure you guys are on the same page in that regard. Maybe, depending on if it's permissible, you could just sneak a peak to make sure everything's good down there too lol.

    If he's a good guy and you can really see a future with him, I'd say go for it.

  • I could wait but I wouldn't do it. It just not for me sorry. I respect those who wanna wait but to me it's risky when you don't know the compatibility between both of you. What if he's sucks in bed and you're already married to him. You mentioned that you're a Christian so you gotta think twice about divorce though.

    I am a very sexual person (only for my man excuse me pervert here) so it's difficult for me to comprehend this type of relationship. Sex just brings both parties feel closer and it's part of the communication in a relationship. But hey that's me, others might feel different way. Now you choose what makes you feel right.

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What Girls & Guys Said

20 41

  • could i? probably.
    would i? nope.

    what if she's selfish in bed, or he can't find your clit without a map? if you save yourself for marriage, you risk ending up with someone who you're not sexually compatible with or who's just really bad at sex (and you have to spend a lifetime training him or her).

    • I meant to add that neither of us are virgins actually. We've had past relationship (s). It's not like he wouldn't know those things lol. This is something that we've both decided to choose. We wanted a more 'pure' relationship.

    • ah, i see~ thanks for clarifying. i still think it's strange; you don't know if the two of you are sexually compatible and, if it were me, it would seem as though i were trying to will back my virginity (lol). but it's a matter of personal choice and, as long as you two aren't leading each other on or otherwise being deceitful, it's all fine and well.

    • This^

  • Yes, Because that is in the bible, You are religious even if you aren't SUPER religious, The bible says God created sex for after marriage. And this guys seems amazing! I think it is worth it and should feel worth it for a guy who loves you for you

  • Fuck no..."try before you buy" is my policy. if i find out someone sucks in bed, nice personality or not... hell fuckin no.
    we may still keep dating/fucking, but marriage is off the table... or i could just simply "friend-zone" her... period.
    in my experience... those who WANT to wait for marriage to have sex, usually suck at it. . and thats true talk.
    Knowing how its done and ACTUALLY doing it... two different things. I thought i knew how to fuck when i was a virgin, until i actually did it... boy was i surprised.

    • Neither of us are virgins. We both had a past before. We simply chose this route. I want something different and something pure. I doubt that he is bad at sex. You really have to talk to a person. Sex is something that you can become good at over time.

    • absolute bullcrap... no offense... i don't know you nor your partner... but i know people... so bull crap. lets assume your partner wants to try anal... what would you say?

    • You know people... good for you. Maybe the people that you know are just people who don't keep their word. You are what you attract... just saying.

    • Show All

  • No. Sex is not a "small" part to be ignored or taken to chance. You also don't rely on "compromise" or "sacrifice" when it comes to making a marriage work. A marriage works because you are both fully compatible with each other and you both fully know each other. If sex is so important you need to wait, then why are you marrying someone you do not fully know? How can you fully know someone you have not had sex with? If sex is so important, why would you take part of your life to chance? Why would you basically be with a "stranger" on your wedding night? So what happens when you are married and then you discover you two are complete opposites sexually? Doesn't sound like much fun or a fulfilling and spiritual life to me. No, I need sex as part of life, married or not. Marriage is just a piece of paper. It shouldn't change the way you feel about someone or enable you to physically act different with someone.

    • I agree with you to some extent. Neither of us are virgins actually. We both had a past. We've spoken about it. We just want a pure relationship. To us, marriage is more than a peice of paper, but to each it's own. It represents a union of the two. He comes from a very traditional family. Mine is somewhat traditional. I don't believe that you're in bed with a stranger hence you have kissed and touched one another. Sexual compatibility is important but its also something that we discussed.

    • I wish you all the best. It seem many couples who prefer to wait also do not want to talk about it because they fear it will "lead to something", and therefore do not have proper communication or understanding. I am happy to hear you both have good lines of communication and understanding.

    • Thank you.

  • I could wait for actual sex but we could still mess around with each other. There just has to be a line.

    • Mess around in terms of oral sex or help one another masturbate?

    • Helping each other masterbate/watch each other masterbate. Maybe move a dildo in and out for her.

    • To some extent, that's worse. What about caressing or dry sex? That doesn't have to lead to anything...

  • that's what's happening, hell yeah.

  • If my partner is a keeper. . . real relationships are about compromise and sacrifice and valuing your partner and working hard together to make it work. Physical pleasure is only a small part of marriage.

    • A agree. I feel a sense of high when we're together. He just makes me laugh so hard I want to cry. It's really a beautiful thing.

    • Physical pleasure is only a small part of sex, too.

  • I am asexual though, I would hope for sexless marriage too

  • More guys than girls said "yes". That's surprising, lol. Personally no for me, I'd want to see if we're sexually compatible.

    • and, if you wake up to the fact that is was only sex?

    • @Sabretooth What do you mean?

    • If all that kept you together was the sex... what would you do? Most "men" love this way of thinking, it grants them power

    • Show All

  • Too late for that.. LOL

  • I'm not getting married so nope. If I wait I'll die a virgin XD so fuck no

  • I am waiting for marriage. Kissing and hand holding are awesome, but it doesn't go any further than that

    • That's great.

  • The amount of "yes" in this post shows how little GAG represents the real world, as most people wouldn't wait, I included.

    • They would but could they? That's the real question.

  • He's worth it and I would wait.

  • I know I wouldn't, but there are some religious people who are firm in their beliefs, and in some cases I can't really see a reason to deter them from wanting to wait.

  • I could but don't want to. I had a girlfriend that was the same as your boyfriend and I was ok with waiting because I liked her a lot. We aren't together anymore but not because of this.

    • So then why?

  • Yes because I think sex can be great with almost anyone who is willing and able. I'd respect him for his beliefs.

  • Well... I would respect it and just masturbate. But... On our wedding night I would go fuckin crazy. ;)

  • Sex is a physical expression of my love and emotional bond with the girl... without sex I would feel dis-satisfied. 😔

  • Could I?
    -Maybe

    Would I?
    -Probably not, especially not if theyve already had premarital sex with ither people.

  • Show More (41)

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