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Why is sex such a dirty, shameful thing to Christians?

This may be a little bit of a generalization, I realize that this doesn't necessarily apply to all Christian people. But in my experience with Christianity, premarital sex ESPECIALLY is considered sinful and terrible. I've never understood what the big deal is about sex. Why should God care so much about it? Why is it that just because we're more advanced than other animals on our planet, we're required to go through this whole ritual before sex is deemed "appropriate"? I just don't understand.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • The more special something is, the worse it is when it's intents are perverted.
    I mean, if God made us, he made sex, he made it feel amazing, and we have to have it in order to have kids.
    From that logic, it makes sense to assume he wants us to enjoy it.

    The two biggest condemnations against sex in the Bible are fornication and adultery. Fornication is, in my opinion, the act of having sex with someone else without romantic desires, love, or an intent to have children.
    If God's intent for sex was for us to bond intimately with those we loved, and to have kids, then this act is a perversion of his intent.

    Adultery is a similar perversion because it gives in to lust and temptation, driving people to betray their partners, as well as cause strife and jealousy, and break up families. Again, a perversion.

    Now, unlike some Christians, I am not against premarital sex. This is for several reasons, but the biggest might be that... 99.999% of people, from Adam and Eve, all the way up to people living in the 1800's were never married in the sense we think of it, with a minister and a ceremony! They decided to be together, and were simply together. Marriage as we know it was reserved for the rich, powerful, or the politically connected. That's why there is the idea of "common law marriage," where if a couple lives together for X amount of time, they are considered married, legally.
    So the whole "premarital sex is evil!" thing really is a fairly new phenomenon, and one I quickly discard. I think that as long as you love the person you are with, and they love you, that is all that matters.

    • This was so helpful, thank you.

  • Sex is not dirty, as long as it's not lustful. Sex is used to procreate, but people make it dirty by being lustful and using sex for very bad selfish reasons.

    • What are the bad and selfish reasons? Like just wanting to feel good?

    • 1) lust 2) harm

    • What's so bad about lust? That's the part I don't understand. And what do you mean by harm, BDSM stuff?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Seems quite a few people here have a misinformed view of sex within Christian beliefs.

    I'm not a big advocate for "absolutes" in regard to most things, including sex.

    There is a common thread in most religions that sex is for two married people. But that's NOT because sex is "dirty or shameful". But because they believe it's the most intimate way two people can relate to each other, and it should be saved for that special person. There's also a few people here that have stated that Christian sex is "only for procreation". That's also incorrect.

    Personally, I don't plan to wait for marriage to have sex (just my personal thought), but even if I did, it's not "dirty or shameful" in a Christian marriage. It's supposed to be enjoyable and feel good. That's why women have a clitoris for fuck's sake. It's for pleasure, period.

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  • I am a Christian and yes, I believe sex is before marriage is a sin. So is causing strife, and lying, and stealing, etc. We are all sinners. Who I am to judge someone that sins differently from me? But Jesus said the two greatest commandments is to love God with all your heart, and to love your neighbor as yourself. If having premarital sex doesn't get in the way of that then...

  • Sex isn't a dirty or shameful thing to Christians, although many seem to have taken it that way. Sex is a good thing; God just knows that we as humans crave a certain level of intimacy when sharing our bodies with others. He doesn't mean to take away our "fun" or anything. He truly has our best interests at heart.

    • That helps me feel better. I have kind of a strange relationship with religion, where I know what I want to believe but I'm having a difficult time determining if Christianity fits the bill. That makes me feel both guilty and sad. This is one of the big issues for me.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 16

  • Well... When you believe in a fearful god, you have fear.
    I myself believe in a loving God, one that is not human like us.
    I think there is something beautiful about monogamy and the sanctity of marriage... and even perhaps two virgins that manage to meet each other before they lose their virginity and get married... But let's face it, this is no longer the world we live in... When I meet a woman I'm pretty sure she's not a virgin and I've never been wrong LOL... I've been with my fair share of women therefore I do not even bother to question how many men she's been with, and I would avoid the question if I were asked as well... I just don't want to know or care to know.
    The reason for this being is when I'm with a woman I want to be the only man she's thinking about, and I want her to be the only woman I'm thinking about... And we definitely don't want to be thinking about each other's past partners, it's just kind of a mood killer
    I think that people, well together if they are able to maintain a monogamous relationship, all is good in the eyes of my loving God... But if they're just here to go fucking from one animal to another, then their human evolution is in regression in my opinion.
    The only thing that separates man from animal is the ability to ponder on and obtain more noble ideals... To work towards a humanitarian evolution, rather than an animalistic evolution.

    • See, this is the kind of God I want to believe in! But it's hard to call myself a Christian when it seems like so many Christians have different ideas about what is right. When there is belief in a loving God but also belief in a fearful God, how can they be the same religion?

    • There is a large difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is believing in the experiences of others, while spirituality is having your own experience with God. Humans, you are so narrow in your understanding... "God" is something so much more than you can comprehend with your limited programming. My best advise is to be the kind of person that you want to be... A kind of person that makes you feel good to be... inside of yourself, in your heart, in your soul... Whatever you want to call it... That being at your core is who you are... You must make peace with who you are and what you are... This flesh you reside in? It's only one side of yourself... In your core you know what you are and you know what is right and what is wrong... That is your God and that is the God you need to understand and can't escape. Everything else is just man-made perspective. Everything that has been taught, while it may contain many truths, it's up to you to come into alignment with your core.

  • This information comes from a catholic upbringing. The Church does not deem sex sinful, they just believe that sex is a special bond, only to be made between man and wife as they believe the purpose of marriage is to procreate (have children) which obviously is done through sex, therefore their reasoning is sex should be contained to marriages

  • It isn't so much "Christianity" that is the problem! The real problem is "religion"!!! Religious belief has this world more fucked up than anything else possible!

  • the bible does suggest that sex is a sacred act two married people engage in for the purpose solely of pro-creating. so sex for any reason outside of that singular aim is considered wrong

  • Jesus loves you sex or not.

  • Closed minded, archaic beliefs like all religions. Most people attach shame to things that make them uncomfortable or that they find difficult to talk about.

  • its because they believe so strongly in the teachings of Christianity. thats like literally all it is. their faith is strong in their religion.

  • If you ask an actual Catholic who isn't just acting religious to feed their superiority complex, they'll tell you that sex is the most beautiful thing they can do to connect with their husband, someone with whom your bond is validated by and in front of God himself.

  • Because sex leads to pregnancy. Think back 1000 years when there was no birth control and no welfare to help single mothers. Life back then was not like today.

    • premarital sex is shameful because, in biblical times, a man's lineage was about the most important thing after survival. since there was no birth control and no paternity test, the idea of raising another man's child was unthinkable, so confining sex to marriage was the best way they could think of to make sure women only bore their own children.

  • Some do, some don't. Mostly, I'd say most Christians are still wary of premarital sex. Just as @drewtacular pointed out, things are very different now, and since there's nothing wrong with getting intimate in a relationship, maybe premarital sex isn't really necessary, with all due respect.

    • I'm not sure I totally understand. You're saying that premarital sex isn't necessary because having intimate relationships is okay?

    • Yes, premarital sex in my opinion isn't necessary because you have lots of options to have safe sex. Pills + condom are much more than effective prevention methods combined to give an example, there are injections, vaginal condom, morning after pills... the options are available. And yes, if we're referring to premarital sex from a moral standpoint, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having sex in a monogamous relationship, with the one you love. It is rather ridiculous if you think otherwise. Whether people like to admit it or not, sex is extremely important in a relationship. Imagine if you hold off sex for years with someone else and then marry, and then you realize you both have zero sexual chemistry, or just don't really enjoy sex much at all with this other person. What if he/she doesn't make you tick. There will be a lot of resentment and frustration within a very short period of time after marriage.

    • Worse case scenario, imagine of your so slept with someone else during your abstinence period. How awful would that be? Eh, I can think of many variables that can go wrong just by abstaining from sex. I think is best if you have a healthy and awesome sex life with your partner before taking the plunge, no surprises.

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  • Tied to St Augustine's Confessions, which was the basis of Christianity for over 1000 years. Since he was writing during the downfall of Rome he put a lot of emphasis on the fall of civilisation and the sin of man, believing that humanity had become corrupted and declined over time. As a result humans sucks and it's evil to make more.

  • Premarital sex aside, I know Christians who are nympho maniac's in bed.

  • Consider, most "Christians" are morons. There is nothing wrong or immoral about expressions of love or caring.

    • That's pretty short sighted thinking bro.

      Christian = moron
      non-Christrian = what?

      So you think "most" Christians have an IQ between 50 and 70 huh?

      media.giphy.com/media/e67jW3CzzzWus/giphy.gif

    • You know, you're correct. And its not like me to make those kind of broad generalizations. Just feeling a little full of myself I guess. I needed a good human (you) to point out the ridiculousness of such a comment, & I thank you😊 .. time to move on👋

  • They do not know how to live life. Sex is normal human nature.

  • Have you studied Christianity and the Bible?

    • A little bit. I haven't gone super in-depth when it comes to reading the Bible because quite frankly it's a little difficult for me to comprehend. I'm basing this question off of my experience growing up in a church, listening to sermons every week and attending Sunday school.

    • It's kinda like an unquestionable law of the Bible... I am a Christian lining in sin, which we all are, but I just aim to not do harm to others.. I'm very sexually adventurous and I like for people to be sexually open and adventurous but it's choice of what you want to do with your body you just have to be able to have a clear conscious based on your interpretation of the Bible and your relationship with Christ.

  • It's shameful to ignorant and theologically illiterate Christians.

  • How do you equate premarital sex with sex being sinful? Sex is an act of love not to reach an " O" or to have another notch on your belt. Your right you are over generalizing , because from what yo I say you k ow nothing of Christianity. ita giving into the flesh of man that is sinful like lust, murder, rape, adultery... etc Buy Jesus died for our sins. Iys like asking why do non believers feel the need to think Christianity is evil but still have Christian beliefs?

    • I'm just coming from my personal experience with Christianity, that's all. I was taught to be ashamed of my sexual urges. I'm not saying Christianity is "evil," I'm just trying to understand what the TRUE beliefs of the religion are.

    • I was raised in a non religious household and sex was shamed. It doesn't matter what religious or non religious group one is from. Most people dont want their kids having sex before marriage. I mean with all the STDs and abortions each year would you blame them?

    • I know, I was just giving you my background because you said it sounded like I didn't know about Christianity. And yeah, I get that the idea doesn't necessarily thrill parents. But honestly, because I'm of the variety who doesn't think premarital sex is wrong, I would absolutely be a sex-positive parent (if I ever choose to have kids). I want them to know everything they're curious about, and I want them to be well-informed about birth control, STDs, and safe sex. I refuse to let any future kids of mine feel as guilty about being sexual as I did growing up.

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  • Because Christians (as well as most religions) like to create unrealistic rules which the majority of people can't possibly live up to so they can keep the shaming of natural human things and push the internal punishment idea that keeps them in business.

  • I Don't Know What Christians You Have Been Talking To, Sex Is Not A Dirty, Shameful Thing.
    Because GOD Is Very Clear That Sex Is For A Husband And Wife, Christians Obey GODS Law.
    Sex Between Men And Women Who Are Not Married Is A Sin.

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