I'm jealous of boyfriend losing virginity way earlier than me?

Question

I know this is a stupid question, but I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 24.. he recently confessed that he lost his virginity at 13 which shocked me. I didn't lose mine until a couple years ago at 24, and i feel ashamed when i think about how my age was more than a decade after his. I'm also a little weirded out/disgusted that he was only 13.. that's wayy too young in my opinion and I feel like you're still somewhat of a child at that age. He's had 4 serious (nonstop) relationships since he was 13 until now, so he's basically had 10 years of sexual history while i barely have any.. i just can't get over it and i wanna cry when i think about it, plus he's younger than me! Is this a bad sign that he had sex at 13, and is it normal i feel so torn up about it? Thanks

Blonde401 · Accepted Answer

The past is the past. This is the reason I personally don't like discussing my personal past with anyone. Even boyfriends/girlfriends. Someone is going to end up offended/hurt/disappointed/disgusted or whatever. I was 14 when I lost mine, which with hindsight was far too young but it's not something I can take back. Sexual history is your own business, it's not fair to judge someone on it but it's also not worth getting super upset over. So you've had less than him? If he's with you he must be happy with you. It's not worth freaking out over. Everyone has different experiences and a different path in life. For future reference, don't ask questions you may not like the answer to I guess :/

lumos · Accepted Answer

No it's not normal. This really has nothing to do with him and his sexual past, it is all about you and your own insecurities concerning not being on the same page as him. I agree that 13 is very young to lose your virginity and that wasn't really a smart decision on his part. Still, this is clearly an issue that you yourself have created because of your own fears and insecurities. Talk to him about it, or talk to a therapist about it. This seems like a more deeply rooted issue than just his sexual past.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

It's a worse sign that you care about something so petty that is affecting you only by choice. There's no reason as to why there'd be anything wrong with him having had more sexual partners or been sexually active than you. Unless you feel like those kinds of things are essential in terms of determining your relationship compatibility..,

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I had sex at 14 and that is quite normal, a year earlier would have done little for my mental maturity which was certainly enough to grasp the bigger picture.

Now whatever has happened before shouldn't matter today. Sex is more about attitude than experience either way. What you are feeling is most likely that you fail to measure up to his, assumed, wealth of experience but let me repeat: That isn't what matters. If he can show you a few tricks that will be a cause for him to be happy because he can make you feel good. Let it be a good thing. He is with you, no one else. And he already knows your sexual history, so that isn't a problem. Don't make his one.

Intraluminal · Accepted Answer

I lost my virginity at 12, and I didn't become a misogynist, a sex freak, or a priest. It's OK if he lost his and you didn't. It's not as big a deal as everyone makes it out to be. Also havng 10 years of sexual experience doesn't make being intimate with you any less special. Sex should be about being close to someone in a special intimate way that nothing else can replicate. It's not about the mechanics despite what some of the loudmouth fools say. Enjoy him and be thankful that at least he's over the awkward part if the sexual learning curve.

BellePepper · Answer

This is ridiculous and you know it. You need to stop looking at the numbers and think about WHY you feel this way. Are you insecure with yourself, your sexual performance, or something else?

AustinMan · Answer

Precisely why do you care? It's done. Move on. Show him the advantages or an older if less experienced woman.

NJ_Casanova · Answer

Nothing to worry about... you weren't ready and 13 was way to young.

allahu_snackbar · Answer

Soooooooooooooooo many guys lie about that shit to their girlfriends because they think it makes them look good. Unless he's a hillbilly then he probably really did lose his V card at 13.. to a sister or a cousin or something.

CHARismatic110 · Answer

So what changed besides the fact that you now know what age he started having sex at? You were fine with him before his confession. So what you had sex later than him. What does that matter?

Bandit74 · Answer

I dont blame you but there's nothing you can do to change it. Either accept it or leave and find a different guy with less experience.

Im very behind most girls my age too and I would prefer a girl more on my level but realistically that isn't going to happen. I think Ill probably sleep around to catch up rather than looking for something serious right away.

Instead of trying to find a guy who has your level of experience you could try and gain experience to get on everyone else's level. You have more control over your level of experience than you do of other peoples level of experience.

Or like I said just try and force yourself to accept his past.

Marttinez · Answer

You said it yourself, it's a stupid question. Smh

emerald77 · Answer

Listen, you have to leave the past in the past. Whatever he did before you were in the picture doesn't matter. It happened, and you can't change it. So there is no point in worrying about it. Just let it go.

Scrambledagain · Answer

Look, this is me personally. I always try figure out why things like this piss me off. I'm also very jealous with people who have lost their virginity before me, and trying to find the skeleton behind that closet has lead me to the core of the matter: it feels as if these people have experienced more than me and have had a better quality of life. Also a hard truth pops up, I feel so sexually robbed due to my poor choices coming from a crappy childhood. That's what gets me. You have to let this go and you have 2 choices: 1) stay with him and accept it or 2) (my route) I decided you Only live once, so I am not settling until I get a lot of sexual experiences with different people and different ways.

takumii · Answer

Its okay, boys loose their virginity earlier than girls because they are derperados.

orphan · Answer

you want to cry because he's had sex at 13? lol.

DnaGll · Answer

That is true maybe he was to young, but if he is clean just enjoy the tricks he probably know and enjoy good sex. Is uncomfortable if you think and overthink it, you would mess with your own head if you do not cool down. I know it is something (REALLY) difficult to get over but, the more you think the less happy you are.

Starex · Answer

Is your boyfriend is uncircumcised

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's fine. 13 is young but there is nothing that can be done about that now. The past is the past. I would try to not let it bother you. You both got to the same place just at different ages... I don't think either was wrong. You both did it when you felt ready.