Have I had any experience with my boyfriend having trouble staying hard?
Maybe a handful of times, like 3-4 at most, within the first few weeks of us being sexually active. For a combination of reasons- either he'd be drinking, or stressed/tired.
Trouble with cumming from just oral?
We discussed that very openly. He told me he had trouble with that largely because of his ex, the only other person he's gotten physical with. She had been clear with the fact that she detested giving oral which in large-part probably contributed to her blowjobs being quite lackluster in quality.
He had a huge mental block towards receiving, much less enjoying oral in the beginning. Which also led to him being nervous that he'd take 'too long' to finish, starting a vicious cycle.
I basically had to convince him that I actually wanted to give him head as well as that I genuinely enjoyed it over the next few weeks. Showing him through my words and actions that I loved doing that for him and was fine with having to continue till he finished.
It could be a lot of things. Considering this a new development think of anything substantial that has happened recently that might be impacting his mood and therefore libido. A job loss, a death of a familiar person, etc. Anything that might mess with his pride or happiness is a likely cause of the problem. And in that case, the problem will go away once he deals with his feelings.
Another likely scenario, and my first thought actually, is that it's because your sexy-time is getting too routine. Basically, since you've been together so long in a monogomous relationship he's too used to the sex for the sex to be a turn on. Of corse this is a guess and if you know that you're doing new exciting things all the time it isn't relevant. But if it is, a good way to get things going again can be to take a break for a while to rebuild the anticipation and/or try something entirely new or unexpected. Anything that makes him see you in a new way will remind him of the things he's attracted to you for in the first place (and vice versa).
Has he been under any form of stress or perhaps just working too hard? .. I only ask this, as just very occasionally my husband finds he cannot perform satisfactory due to these very reasons.
Not that I know of, no, maybe lack of sleep.
@cherrybottom12589 .. Perhaps it wouldn't go amiss in just gently asking him if everything is alright.. Lack of sleep certainly won't help matters either.
Work related stress
Money problems
Family problems
Insufficient sleep
Overuse of caffeine
Poor nutrition
Minor illness
Depression
...
This can be a really, really long list.
It's most likely NOT you. But, if you do start to worry that it is about you... add this item to the list:
"Girlfriend has me stressing about her happiness in the relationship."
Your best possible response to this is to be the one safe thing in his life that is NOT stressing him out.
The two of you are continuing to have sex. That is a good sign. It's just not what it was. That is part of the normal ebb and flow of relationships. The two of you are a team. Remember to be on the same side.
Thanks for the MHO.
It's his issue, not yours. Probably performance anxiety.
Maybe this will help:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11031-how-to-turn-your-man-on
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If he watches porn it can be harder to please him. I know from experience
Too much sex could cause a guy to not cum. Maybe he lost interest in the sex?
one thing is not being turned on
If he hasn't turned on, why be in a relationship?
there are other reasons to enter a relationship, who knows, I don't know him personally.
He could be having Ed problems. He could also be masterbating to often.. He could also not be turned on.
It could be any number of things. He could be stressed out about something or feeling physically run down. Just be supportive and tell him not to worry about it and it will probably pass and he'll be back to normal.
there are several possible reasons for this, medications, stress, medical problems, performance anxiety or the hardest thing to bring up all ready had sex.
He's addicted to porn
So does that mean he doesn't find me attractive?
No but porn addiction can make it so a man can't perform with a normal woman. It's called porn creep
There Are many reasons,
1. Stress
2. He doesn't feel the same about you; maybe he doesn't find you attractive any more or doesn't love you like before.
3. He's talking to someone else
4. Eating habits - too much alcohol/ smoking - lack of exercise, things that can lead to erectile dysfunction
5. Monotony, after 4 years of being together both of you need to work together to spice things up
Orgasms, like any physiological response is in the brain. Emotions and other factors can effect the brain and therefore the libido. So it could be stress, depression or guilt (if he has cheated on you or is playing you)
Drugs can also make a guy go limp. Antidepressants definitely makes one lose their libido.
It's all in the mind. And all you have to do is tell him you want to do everything and anything he wants sexually. And when he comes up with some crazy shit he found on some nasty porn site just do it. And be happy to do it and try to enjoy what he wants to do. And if he still can't cum or get hard then sit down and talk to him about it.
Being tired... being sick... emotional problems... physical problems dealing with erectile dysfunction... not being sexually excited... Tons of reasons... all depends on the guy
Is he going through a rough time at the moment?
The only time this has ever happened for me was when I resented the girl I was dating. She had said something in a fight that I could never forget. I tried making it work for months, but it was complicated and I was never in the mood to have sex with her. She could barely get me hard, even when I tried.
I would cum for you!
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