People who had sex before marriage, do you think you were better off having sex before marriage, instead of waiting until marriage?

I had sex before marriage, I originally wanted to wait, i think its a way better decision
Vote A
I had sex before marriage , i originally wanted to wait, its a better decison
Vote B
I had sex before marriage, i originally wanted to wait until marriage, if i could redo it, id want to choose to wait until marriage for it
Vote C
I had sex before marriage, if i was a young virgin again, but somehow knew exactly what i was missing, i wouldn't want to wait until i was married
Vote D
I had sex before marriage, if i was a young virgin again, but somehow still knew exactly what i was missing, i would choose to wait until i was married
Vote E
I waited until i was married and if i could choose again, id have sex before marriage
Vote F
I waited until i was married and would do it again, or im a virgin
Vote G
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You know, there's a bit more to this question than is lead to believe. I was going to answer, and off the cuff response like it shouldn't really be a thing in your decision making of your partner. But, then I thought of how I was before I got married compared to who I married. My wife is Catholic and she did have sex before marriage, but not nearly as much as I did. Her experiences have been fairly limited. Some have been pretty bad as well, by way of persons, not as in has she been abused. She had her first really late (25+ or so I believe). She can count her partners on one hand as well, and I believe, fairly "vanilla". Not much oral or much adventurous things. She did have a vibrator before we got together, but just one and nothing else for sexual toys or things like that. Myself, on the other hand, I've had probably more than 15 partners. 4 that I was with as a serious relationship (3+ years). A few that were like a short relationship and we went our separate ways for whatever reasons. A few 1 night stands. A few multiple nights and then we went our separate ways. Some were very adventurous, others were sensual and intimate. The long relationships the sex was great and we could joke about whatever during or talk about the funny, weird, odd things that happen during with comfort. But I'm have that with a one night stand where it it was really intimate between us and we were all over eachother and it was really hot, but we also took our time and explored each other, and were able to show each other what we wanted and actually knew what the other wanted and it was the best sexual experience I've ever had, even to this day.

    Which takes me to my wife. I love her greatly, and our sex was good and is good, but to me, not spectacular I guess. To her, it does seem like it has been spectacular. This difference in opinion may be from our sexual histories. Or it could be, I believe, we have differing views on sex and that. I didn't think too much on this before I got married because I didn't think it was as important and thought that I care about her very much and I feel comfortable with her and when we argue, we still love each other and we communicate pretty good. But, my drive, I believe, is more than hers. And from having such incredible experiences before, my mind sometimes wanders. It's bad, and I never act upon because I care about her too much to hurt her, but I shouldn't have this in a marriage. So, sex before marriage, probably isn't good for all.

  • I didn't wait til marriage, jury is still out on whether I'll even go through that whole elaborate formality. Lived my life, experienced a lot of different women. Some I loved, some I liked, some I didn't care either way but they were hot, some I didn't even really know, haha. I don't regret any of it, it was obviously a lot of fun, the thrill of chasing women always revved my engine, and I learned a lot, sexually and otherwise. I have had one-night stands, casual hookup buddies, girls I saw for a while, and serious, committed relationships, the current one at 9 years and running. So I'm clearly capable of commitment, and I also know how to keep it loose. I'm glad I have that versatility. And I don't buy into garbage about it cheapening me in any way, that's ridiculous. I have no STDs and never have in the past, I wasn't leaving fatherless babies all over the place, and all of these girls are gone and forgotten as far as ever seeing them goes, so really, what's the problem? The whole "I just want to be with one person who also has only been with me" is cute and all, and I'm certainly not knocking your path if that's the one you've chosen to travel, but that's just not for me. Sex is a very personal thing, and obviously many people have many different feelings about it, and of course some folks have religious beliefs that affect their outlook as well, and that's all well and fine. I just resent when that respect isn't reciprocated, and people say dumb shit like "you must have no respect for yourself." That's fucking absurd. The respect I have for myself is just fine, thank you😂 I mean, it's unfortunate that we're so uptight as humans that we can't let ourselves do what makes us happy, and not give shit to other people who are made happy by opposite practices. I could give a fuck less if someone has slept with 1 or 1,000 people, how does that affect my life in any way whatsoever? Way too many Judgey McJudgersons out there. Take the white wig off, no one asked for your ruling. The one thing I would say about premarital sex, I think it's important to know if you're sexually compatible with someone before committing, and especially marrying. Sex is a HUGE part of a relationship, and if you aren't satisfied in that department, that will fuck up the whole dynamic. Not all sex is the same, and I don't think people who are inexperienced can really speak on how they'd "just work on it." It's not that simple, some people just don't mesh.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Sexy wasn't even pleasant for me at first... And if my guy was an overexcited, long-waiting virgin, it'd probably have been even worse.

    I read a some of those boards where good Christian girls wonder why this "beautiful thing" they were supposed to be saving to make marriage better ends up being an overzealous, grunting partner who wants to jackrabbit ram her senseless every hour because orgasms on demand are his "reward" for getting married. While she, on the other hand, is sore every day and grits her teeth and zoned out while she does her "duty."

    The "true love waits" crowd doesn't always have a healthy view of intimate sexuality, either.

  • I never once in my life believed in waiting to have sex until married. All i wanted to do was wait until i met someone special and I did:-) I didn't lose my virginity until a short while after my 20th birthday and I dont regret it at all. Even if I wasn't still with him, I still wouldn't regret it because the experience taught me a lot and I wouldn't want it any other way.

  • you're missing the option, "had sex before marriage, never wanted to wait, if i could choose again i would still choose not to wait".

    Virginity is just an imaginary social concept. It doesn't mean anything. Have sex if you want sex. Of you dont, then dont. Its not that serious.

    • Actually i guess thats pretty much choice D? Thats what i picked

    • This this this is also my choice lol.

    • It's D. The poll was more like a multiple choice question on an exam where D is the correct answer. But respect to the asker for being thorough.

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 15
  • I met the girl who would become my wife and after a suitable amount of courting but before marriage was even mentioned we had sex. However, I saw my male friends having lots of sex with different partners so we broke up so I too could do that.

    After two years and many conquests later I realised I had already met the 'right one' and will be forever grateful we will spend the rest of our days together. I would not swap those two years though - to paraphrase Dickens, it was the best and worst of times.

    • Lucky you had such an understanding woman

  • It's not so much a matter of losing out on sex (even though sex is healthy so probably best to have it if you can), it's a matter of confirming sexual compatibility prior to locking yourself in a relationship long term.

  • I'm having sex before marriage, it's not something I can imagine regretting.

  • I'm a virgin and I'm not waiting till marriage but I'm not waiting till I find the "right guy". I'm just waiting till I'm ready and I know I'm not ready yet.

  • I didn't wait until marriage to have sex, so I wouldn't know what it's like to wait until then.

    • But you know what your missing when you have sex before marriage. The people that waited dont.

    • Not missing much lol

  • I'm a virgin whose biggest goal in life is not getting married.

    I did dream about it tho, I wanted to wait to give v card to a celebrity (well guys, some of you know me already, this shouldn't be a surprise XD) and then get married.

    I grew up, I realized how dumb that was, and now my mind changed and I only want to lose it to someone I like a lot.

    I'm surrounded by idiots so it won't happen now.

    • I would've never guessed you were a virgin. I thought you lost it ages ago

    • @QuestionMan Yeah, people tend to believe I'm not XD I've done some stuff but my mom always told me that losing it to your life partner is the best you can do, so I tried to stay away from penetration. Now I can decide for myself and I'm not planning to wait, I just don't wanna do it with the first dude I find.

  • What am I missing out on by having sex before marriage?

    • better question is what AREN'T you missing out on? i got a whole list.

    • @Sabretooth this is true, but no one can really tell me anything essentially is missing without speculation.

  • I have an interesting take. I didn't wait until marriage to lose my virginity. I did however not sleep with my wife until our wedding night. We were celibate while dating, we were celibate will engaged and we finally had sex on our wedding night. I had some great experiences as a single man and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. Even though I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22 I was able to become a seasoned lover before I got married. I was also able to enjoy being a single man until I was ready to be a husband. I also learned how much you actually bond with your partner when you are having sex. This is another reason sex is best in a marriage. I think the ideal situation is to wait until you are married. However even as a devote christian I do not regret losing my virginity before marriage. I didn't get married until I was 35 so It would have been extremely difficult to wait so long. Sex Is an very important part of a happy relationship. I would also advise against rushing into marriage because you want to have sex.. Only you can make the decision of how you want to experience you life. Moreover, only you will deal with those consequences.

    • best answer so far

    • @HookingSwan I thought @WhiteSteve had the best answer

    • lol I just identify the most with his answer but, for the record, I liked whitesteve's as well...

    • Show All
  • I had before marriage. if I could change anything I would have started dating in high school and had sex sooner with another virgin.

  • I had sex before marriage and it was my plan to wait. Not necessarily for marriage, but until I was in a loving and committed relationship that I was pretty sure would lead to marriage. If I had to do it again, I'd wait.

  • Voted A. Had sex before I was married and I wish I had waited. Looking back I was pressured into it and it was a big mistake.

    • Thats not option A if you wanted to wait and didn't, but regreted not waiting

    • Lolol ooops. In that case your a and b are the same. C for me 😉

    • It should only be a mistake if you didn't know the guy well enough. Technically, paperwork shouldn't change how much you love someone or not, or how compatible you are or not. Theoretically, anyways.

  • I think the concept of having sex after marriage is mistaken for having sex with the right person who you can account for and who can account for you. When you have sex, you should do it willingly, reciprocally, its very important that you're not just pressured or just seduced into it. If you want to get married just to have sex... There's gonna be some serious issues. I think people take marriages too lightly these days.

  • I had sex before marriage and the thought of waiting never entered my mind. I think those that wait are flirting with disaster

  • D. I didn't wait before marriage, had no intention of doing so, and don't intend on waiting again.

  • This poll is busted. None of the choices reflect my position.

    • How dont they reflect your decison?

    • I think marriage is busted in law now.

  • I cannot and could not ever understand why you'd want to wait apart from religious indoctrination. With the benefit of hindsight (having had sex) I see even better how absolutely essential sexual compatibility is to the health of long term relationships.

  • It makes no sense why anyone would want to wait. What if your partner turns out to be really sexually incompatible with you? lol

  • I had sex before marriage.
    I never wanted to wait.
    If I could do it again, I'd have sex before marriage.

  • We did NOT wait, don't regrret it and would do it again.

  • I didn't wait until I was married, and I think people who wait for marriage are outright crazy.

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