How to get over a guy that used me for sex?

[Anonymous]

How do i get over someone that clearly used me for sex? He made everything so believeable. Took me out on dates, introduced to me friends, asked me to go to his hometown with him etc and I even spent the night at his house without sex involved. I was there for him when his motorcycle got stolen and when he didn't have a car. After we started having sex a lot his attitude and the way he treated me started to change. He stopped calling.. Texted every blue moon when he wanted sex, stopped walking me to my car when I leave his apartment and start giving me forehead kisses when i left instead of lip kisses. I cry literally everyday trying to forget about him. Then my friend showed me that he has 4 different dating site accounts that he's activley on. I just don't get what i did wrong :( i feel so bad because he made it seem as though i was the only girl he was seeing and sleeping with that we started to have sex without condoms. Which is why i feel so attacthed to him smh i just want to forget about him

[burlen]

The following worked for me. It could work for you too.

# Step 1
The first thing I do is embracing I cannot switch off my feelings for her like a switch light. Recognising my inability to effect a desirable change is itself relieving.

# Step 2
I feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up rather than diverting attention from them. It doesn't matter if it takes a day, week or month. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings only decelerate the recovery process.

# Step 3
I accept she is no longer with me, instead of nursing hope and fighting for her to come back. This is the biggest mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

# Step 4
I focus on the good memories she brought to my life, and on things I would have loved to experience with her. This shifts my mind from hurtful to positive emotions. The mistake I made with my first breakup is I focused on her frailties to convince myself she wasn't beautiful enough. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

# Step 5
I remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) that I associate with her. I also block and delete all her phone number, email address and other forms of communication like whatsapp, etc., including the contacts of some of her friends.

# Step 6
While carrying out the above five steps I engage quite a lot in activities, such as meditation, running, gym and strolling in the woods and park. I set important activities to do daily, and focus on completing them.

# Step 7
I draw inspiration from my first breakup. I flash my mind back and challenge my behaviours and thoughts. My world didn't crumble. I dated beautiful girls after that. I then flash my mind back to current breakup. It then suddenly changes my perspective, confidence and mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months after the breakup.

[MG-TOW]

If I sound harsh please understand I don't mean it that way.

But what are crying/sad about? The fact that you were deceived or is it that you miss him? Because my gut feeling says it is about being deceived.
I think it is always good to realize what it is that makes you sad.

People will tell you things that you should have done this and that but guess what, those people would do exactly the same as you in this situation. So don't let people tell you too much.
Just live your life and treat yourself well so you won't have to think about this.

[luvstoned4him]

I am sorry that happened to you. He is a really good player. That's why when I am into a guy, I do background checks on his life, but it could happen to anyone. Something like this is not easy to get over , being used and manipulated... it sucks. I would say revenge but it won't solve anything and his friends seem like bad influences. To get over him, you need to see him for what he is a cheating , lying, scumbag. You are above him and prob the best thing that he would every come across in a woman.

Keep reminding yourself of the bad thing he has done to you and move on. It would hurt your pride a bit to know that this happened to you especially since you did everything right but you at least watch away with dignity and uprightness. You are a fighter! Every mistake, is a lesson learnt. Use this to grow and better yourself. Be more self aware, dont be afraid to ask questions or investigate no matter how good to be true they seem. All in all, patience and time. Have fun , do something good for yourself: pick up a class, a hobby, anything and go out with your friends. If you have a good friend , you can talk about it. All the best.

[luvstoned4him]

thanks for the mho

[SexyStudent]

You were describing the situation is very common. Happens all the time and is actually the majority of relationships. When I say majority I mean casual. I know you were falling in love, not there yet but on the way. I believe the only way to get over your old ordeal is to realize and accept the fact that you were involved in, "the norm." You learned something that's the good news. The bad news is this is going to happen again because that is how the majority of guys act in the next time it won't hurt so bad. When I was in a sorority college hearts were broken all the time. I was appointed, would you believe this, sexually devised to the pledges and freshman – not really freshman since you weren't allowed to join a sorority until you were a sophmore. Why me? To be honest, I was thought of as the biggest slut. My heart was broken more times than anybody because I associated sex with an emotional relationship. At a young age girls really want that but that is the opposite of what guys want. Understanding and accepting this is part of getting over the hurt.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like he used you for sex... More that things didn't work out. The sex is probably just coincidental to the progression of the relationship, not a cause in any way. Most of the time they don't.

It just takes time to get over people. Don't build them up as larger than life - that helps. Don't neglect your interests. Get some exercise.

[Anonymous]

Well you didn't dtr anything you never asked this man what he wanted you just gave him something he didn't have to try and you didn't get to know him. People usually put on a fake persona to get what they want and then their true colors show. Sorry girl

[BellePepper]

Accept it, learn from it, don't let it happen again.

[angelagunning]

Some guys just use girls as sex toy till they get tired of using her. You been lucky as he sounds like the type of guy who could have turned really nasty and pimped you out as a hooker. Your well rid of him.

[kittykatbrat]

Sex is mutually beneficial.
Idu girls who say this.

[Lendino]

You should have waited longer before you had sex with him in the first place. If he is willing to wait till you get to know each other real good then move forward with him. Well, done is done. At least you will know for the next guy you meet. Take time to know the next guy, at least 3 months before you jump into bed with him.

[Joseph69]

Oh get over him you must have Sex with someone else, best if it is a one night stand then the next night have Sex with someone else so your. Emotions do not get transfused to the next person. Best go somewhere where no one knows you. Use precautions and enjoy the moments. It will not make you feel happier afterwords, but it will make you realize that he is not the only man in the world.
And it's great fun.

[Anonymous]

You did nothing wrong some guys are jus players and jerks. Don't let one a**hole get you down.

[Anonymous]

Just hit him in the balls

[Anonymous]

If he was virgin before. I think he might had an impact.
I heard some guys said. "Seeing the girl you like naked and touching her makes you have less faith or respect for her".
I think it's sad story. I dunno

[Anonymous]

Just the fact a guy used me for sex would make me angry enough to be like fuck him, he's the one missing out.