How does sexual incompatibility work?

[Anonymous]

How does one determine whether or not they are sexually incompatible?

[xHoneyxBeex]

Sexual compatibility includes things like sex drive as well as sexual desires and interests. Things like how often someone wants to have sex, how much importance the person places on sex, as well as the things they like doing during sex are all a factor in sexual compatibility. If one person only wants sex a few times a month while the other person wants it every day, that could be an issue. It would also be a problem if one person is only into "vanilla" style, basic sex while the other person is super kinky. Also, some people place different values on sex. If one person is waiting for marriage to have sex while the other person values sex in a committed relationship or even casual sex, then those two people are probably not compatible with each other.

If all of these things are different, it can cause tensions and issues for the couple later down the road. If there are sexual problems, it can also cause issues in other parts of the relationship as well. This is why it's good for couples to talk about that sort of thing so they will know how sexually compatible they are before things get super serious.

[CrazynKinky]

Have sex with them if it doesn't go well not compatible

[godfatherfan]

I had this happen last year. I dated the woman and overall she was great. She was beautiful, she cooked for me, she was close to my house. But sexually, she wanted sex to be 99% or more just intercourse. Funny how she would let me eat her out and give her an orgasm, but when it came to me, if she sucked my cock at all it was very briefly. Then right into it. Or we would be laying in her bed watching TV for 2 or 3 hrs, then all of a sudden she is taking her clothes off and wants me to get on top of her. I am very oral and want it at least 50/50. I was willing to do one for her, one for me, but I never got any for me. I tried to break up with her after the 1st week, she talked me out of it. Then again the 2nd week, she said she would change. Finally about 3.5 weeks in I gave up and ended it. I was so stressed I didn't even want to have sex with her anymore.

[MrMuffinMan]

I asked about it before I put in any of my heart. Before I started investing the emotional aspect of it I was just very upfront about the things that I could not see myself putting up with in a long-term relationship.

For me these were

1.) I could not see myself raising kids that were not sexually comfortable
2.) I want to push the boundaries (in ways such as bdsm) and live a sex-positive lifestyle.
3.) I really wanted to cam one day with her as a career choice.

I also talked about being monogamous but not exclusive. Meaning it's important to me that I am treated better than other guys in her life but I gave her permission to do anything she wanted with other guys.

Be reasonable but also honest, talk about general ideas, not necessarily specifics. Just those things that you could not compromise on.

[AustinMan]

There are a few indicators. If you like the same things sexually, if you have compatible kinks, if you talk about your fantasies and they are in sync.

[broadsword]

Firstly it's to do with how often you both want sex and how horny you are regularly in comparison to each other.
Then next the next thing is what sort of sexual acts do enjoy giving just vanilla , oral and anal.
Then what sort of sex do you enjoy receiving.
Then finally wether on of you have kinks?
These all add up to compatibility.

[NJ_Casanova]

If it doesn't fit?
If I want it all the time and she never does and it's always a fight to get any affection.

[Anonymous]

Easy... do they want the same things you want in bed? Do they deny things sexually you are into? or vice versa.. Do they respond to sexual acts they way you like, or vice versa...