Sexual Relationships
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Strip Clubs: What female experince is equal to the male experience of going to one?

Going to a strip club is a pretty sensual experience for guys... it's a serious thing some people would consider cheating, and it makes sense. You're allowing yourself to become sexually aroused by another person, and indulging in those fantasies... lap dances are real and personal, there is a sexual connection there that can't be denied. So if you're in a relationship, to make it fair if the man went to a strip club, what would be the equivalent sensual experience for women? And no, it would NOT be going to a male strip club. Women are different from men... the only reason to attend strip clubs for us is for fun and because of the sheer humor and absurdity of it. Women "get into it" by playing along, but we're not fantisizing about actually having sex with these men. You don't see a lone woman at the male strip club seriously gazing longingly and fantisizing, zoning out when they get rubbed up on. Usually the women who get a dance are laughing. For me male strip clubs are not appealing at all, so it wouldn't "make it fair" if I didn't enjoy the reward (or in the case of other women, didn't enjoy it sexually the same way as men and therefore not cheating territory). So what sensual experience involving another person that actually aroused the woman (but not be considered cheating, like strip clubs by some) could make things even? Maybe giving someone a lapdance, or dancing with someone at the club grinding/hands all over you style? Or maybe a makeout session with someone else? Please tell me what you think, creative solutions are espescially welcome.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I actually just thought of something along these lines last night.

    It's a girls-only sushi bar, except the sushi is served on a naked man, erect, lying on his back. The man is ideally blind-folded and in a 'trance-like' state for the entire time. He does not interact in any way. He does not move in any way (except breathing slowly). And his cock is fully erect, pointing completely vertically, throughout the entire thing. The desert might coat his cock in chocolate or something, leaving the tip exposed. The girls are free to do anything they want (or nothing) to any part of his body, except anything that would cause excessive pain. Due to the trance-like state he is in, ejaculation is improbable, but if the customers are particularly resolute about it for some reason, the restaurant is not responsible for the 'mess' or if it ends up in the food. So aim well or swallow.

    So, yeah, I thought of this. Lying down while girls had casual conversation around my cock. Then they finally finish the main course and get to the dessert. The cream all over my cock. One girl swipes some off my cock to apply it to her pastry or whatever. The chocolate shell around it is discovered. A girl bites off a piece. The rest of the girls giggle, but don't shame her because the "elephant in the room" is kind of why they are here. Another girl bites off a piece. They discover the sticky rich fudgy syrup under the layer of chocolate and one girl licks some off. Then another. Soon, a bold girl has the tip in her mouth, but doesn't linger for any longer lest someone accuses her of going after more than just the chocolate. Before long, each girl is saying a similar euphemism about chocolate, but each one takes it a little bit deeper. Once it borders on excessive, one cracks the joke 'careful or you'll get a mouth full of white chocolate'. And then the dare is made.
    "I'll bet you can't make him cum"
    "Oh, I know I can"
    "honey, I've been here before, there is no way"
    "I've never failed before"
    "ah, such a slut"
    "only after a daquery"
    "hahaha"
    "hahaha"
    "hahaha"
    and then the ravenous dick sucking commences.

    • oh, but a more serious answer would probably be 'romance novels'. That's like porn for women.

  • You mistake sensuality for physical drive. There's nothing to compare it to. As you said. Women are different from men. If you simply want vengeance, the semi-equivalent would be emotionally cheating on him. Except that's worse.

    It's purely physical. Which many women cannot understand. The sexual drive for variety is not a betrayal of the guys love for his woman. It is separate. Its an undeniable instinctual urge that will never go away. Its similar to feeling hunger. You see it as a betrayal. But again, women are different from men. If you did it, it would be a betrayal, because sex means love to you. It means intimacy and, as you said, sensuality. There is no love there for men in strip clubs. There's only the satiation of a visceral urge. Only meaningless fulfillment of sexual hunger. Regardless, every man wants to fuck 80% of the women on the planet. Thats simply how we are. The fact that men try to resist that--to whatever degree--shows they care.

    Women: sex = love
    Men: sex = satiation of pure physical desire or love.

    Sex is mental to women. Sex is physical to men. Both are interchangeable, but to different severities with different emphasis.

    To you, it's emotional cheating. To him, it wouldn't be anything. So the equivalent would be emotionally cheating. Going to some place where woman are romanced by equivalent to stripper-men. There are places like that. However, again, i see that as worse. It's not a fulfillment of an instinctual compulsion. It's a planned attack. If it's not out of vengeance, it would be somewhat equivalent. But. Still different. There's no ultimate equivalent, because men have that compulsion that women usually lack. You cannot balance the scales, in my opinion. We are too different. Women simply do not have--in general--that compulsion towards meaningless sex. If you did, then a male strip club would be the balance. It's impossible.

    Women still desire more than one male. It just takes longer. Ultimately, humans are closer to polyamorous than monogamous.

    • I agree with you, but I'm just unsatisfied with the truth. Being a woman sucks in this way. But if there was an agreement and someone felt betrayed, I do think they would be entitled to a sort of mild revenge.. where the woman felt good about herself and the man felt uncomfortable. I think giving someone else a lap dance might be the closest thing. You are right though, we are socially monogamous but not sexually... only to different extents.

    • If there's anything I understand, it's being unsatisfied with the state of things I would, however, think that would depend on the implicit social contract you two set up beforehand. Typically, it's a no-brainer that when you're dating someone mid-term, "You should not have sex or kiss any other person--cheating is a betrayal of our developed trust." However, strip clubs sit somewhere in the grey area, in my opinion. In essence, its softcore porn IRL: *somewhat* of an extension of porn. There's no implicit social contract--that I'm aware of--that states "no porn; you may only see me naked now" So, in my opinion, it's not technically a "betrayal" *if* there were no set boundaries beforehand. You might *feel* betrayed; but, if he understands that, then he can try to make it up to you, along with restructuring the relationship contract to include "no lap dances": instead of you trying to hurt him back. Then if he does it again--. Perhaps it's only because I have a male bias, but that's how I see it

Most Helpful Girls

  • ehh well, let's see, you wanna play the equivalency game here, do ya. Well, if it's a decent analogy you want, just ask yourself, "What corresponds to what?"

    Well, roughly speaking, (yeah yeah #stereotypes sry)...

    • When dudes go to a strip a club, their currency is... well, literal currency.
    What do they get in exchange? (Hopefully for them) sexual attention from some reasonably young hot thing.

    Okay, analogy time.
    • (Again, stereotype alert...) Our "currency" is, generally speaking, our sexuality and our attention -- all kinds of attention, but especially the explicitly sexual kind.
    What do we get in exchange? (Hopefully, as the stereotype goes) indulgent attention from "superior" men. Define that as you will -- obviously that's highly context dependent. Doesn't mean the same thing at all on a college campus as it does on Wall street on in the hood, but, you get me.

    Soooooo if you want a pretty exact analogy:
    • Dude traded literal currency for sexual attention from young hot women.
    • You can equal this out by going somewhere where you can trade "sexual currency" for that kind of indulgence from powerful men. There's yr analogy.
    This could be a club, an upscale bar... something like that. But, the point is that you could be VERY receptive to advances, and VERY, uh, giving with yr attention.
    As far as limits, well, that's up to you. That's a function of yr own boundaries and ethics (and perhaps of the severity of whatever transgressions you're trying to avenge... yeah, I'm not going there).

    But, there's yr answer. Get dressed up to kill, go somewhere where you'd find men who are out of everyone's league, and... engage them.

    Have fun!

  • Well Women going to strip clubs are so much worse than males going to strip clubs.
    Males go to strip clubs and socialize with buddies over drinks while women dance on stage. There are those lone males who go by themselves and get on stage to have money taken from their mouth by boobs, but they are not allowed to touch the women even during lap dances.

    Women don't go for the humor of it at all. Women who go are grotesque. They lick, grope, maul. They are loud and vulgar. They are allowed to touch the men and the males will go around and put a towel in front of her face and she can suck him off or not but it's behind a towel. I have also seen whip cream be used and women licking it off the dick.

    If you want a sensual experience that is equal to a male going to a strip club... don't assume you need to be groping or grope someone else, or make out with someone else... that is actually cheating. Like I said males at strip clubs are way more reserved than women are. A equivalent for us would be having our mind stimulated because we generally fantasize mentally... while men fantasize visually. SO while they need to see something to enjoy the fantasy, we need to hear, visualize in our mind, and think about stuff for the same level of fantasy. So unless there is a club where a male reads you erotica... you are left reading 50 shades by yourself.

  • My reading comprehension must be going haywire because I don't understand what you're saying at all. I have seen women go crazy at mail strip clubs been taken to the back room and having oral sex with the guys. I've even heard of intercourse being done. This is at the Coronet Club in Atlanta Georgia. Most of the women just giggle and laugh but some are really into this as above. Yes it is less a percentage of women than men who want to be taken to the VIP room and pay money for sex. The guys given away for free some of them are homosexual.. I'm just describing my experiences I still don't understand your thesis at all. Sorry

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 17

  • A Bridal Show

  • -Being a stripper? You would feel desired by all the men at the club.
    -Doing something else that would cause you to feel sexually desired at mass
    -Hiring a male escort. someone who can make you feel sexy, special, desired. Whatever your female fantasy is is something that a good one will go the extra mile to try and give you.

  • Yeah, actually women are way worse when at strip clubs then men and what your saying is actually not really the case. Women oggle men just as much as men oggle women this is an inescapable fact.
    www.thegloss.com/.../

    • Lol that the only people upvoting comments with similar opinions as yours are other dudes. You're clueless.

    • No, women just don't like to admit that they are as bad as men (if not worse). Since no one calls women out, and because no one wants to admit that women do these kinds of things women get away with it and are then able to have "plausable deniablity" about it, after all they are women and they don't act like that, and we know they don't act like that because they are women (circular logic). As my link pointed out even other women notice this behavior.

  • Foreplay with the sexiest man you can get your hands on.

  • Only a woman would think a strip club is a "sensual experience". I am 47 and never have been in a strip club. They hold no appeal to me. My best friend wanted to take me there for my bachelor party but I wanted to go to a comedy club. However, it doesn't mean I don't understand it. Why do women not get that men are visual. It is not likely a woman would want to look at a penis picture, or the real thing, all day long. And I mean literally just stare at it all day long. A guy SO would and love it.
    the majority of guys do not look at a stripper and thinks "god I want to have sex with her". WE are thinking "I'd fuck that" and it more means her pussy, her tits, her ass. Women can't understand the concept that we can separate the "parts" of a woman from the woman. We are really not thinking about the stripper as an individual, more like any woman...
    And your So full of it. The woman I know that go to the strip club are eyeing the men exactly the same way a man does... so you need to speak for yourself only.

    • If you've never been to a strip club, your opinion about how sensual they are is invalid. And it seems you didn't actually understand my post. And your last paragraph was just ridiculous. So by your logic, if you cheat on your partner because you think the other person is sexy and are only seeing them as "parts", that somehow makes it not cheating? Whether or not you are objectifying a body, that body is part of a person and indulging in fantasies/private dances IS a sensual/sexual experience.

    • I never said anything about cheating on someone. That is not ok under any circumstances. I stated that, when guys are fantasizing while looking at a stripper, it is not the stripper they want to fuck. They are simply objectifying her body.

    • and just because I haven't been to a strip club doesn't mean I cannot completely understand them from a mans perspective. Sex for women is about emotions more then anything (as I understand it). You need to feel connected. For men, emotions can help make it better, but orgasm is just about friction.

  • I have been a stripper and some girls DO get wild when they're with a bunch of their friends at a private party and they have one guy by himself all to their selves, especially when they're liquored up and/or high. Bras often come off, sometimes even panties. You can tell me that it's not because they're turned on, but I'm not sure I completely believe you. I'd say they're not quite as uninhibited at strip clubs, though.

    • "getting wild" is far more innocent than sitting quietly in fantasy indulgence. it's for fun and not for sexual gratification. did you even read my post?

    • Yes, I read your post, but I know for a fact that not all girls conform to the way you think they must. Most, maybe, but there are exceptions to every rule. I've seen a couple girls watching me and getting a dreamy, longing kind of look. What's that supposed to mean? (Actually, that kinda bothered me just a bit.)

  • i think club dancing would be pretty similar and fun.

  • Your views on girls going to a male strip club is a huge double standard. Unless. Unless you think there really are meaningful differences between how men and women operate and that, therefore, society allowing for those differences doesn't mean that the "patriarchy" is oppressing women.

    • Biological/mental differences between men and women are a separate topic entirely from oppression or a patriarchy, until those differences are used against us. So we operate differently. And? What's your point?

  • Strip clubs are far, far from a sensual experience. I've been to a few with male friends who considered it great, but I couldn't see the attraction. I mean I love women, I like looking at women, that part I can see, but the rest of it - the horrible setting, the noise, the crowd, the personalities of the women - it is just gross.

  • lol when i go to strip clubs its normally to kill time with buddies before a party

  • I suppose a make-out session with someone else would be deemed cheating to me or even grinding with a guy in a dance club.

  • We know women aren't actually sexually attracted to the male body, women would be more aroused by female strippers, yet they claim to be straight, most women are closer to being lesbian than straight. So go get a lapdance from a female stripper and indulge in the narcissistic sexual self affirmation that is female sexuilty.

    • False, you are obviously clueless about women. thanks for the lols though

    • lol at anyone who believes women are heterosexual, they are all bisexual, they consume 2.5 times as much lesbian porn as guys and it's is by far the most popular genre of porn to the female demographic (pornhub statistics, like you posted). "straight" women are also literally more aroused by the female body than the male body, indiana. edu/.../Chivers_Seto_Blanchard_2007. pdf (read that, it's scientifically sound proof). Playboy once did a test where women where aroused by a lap dance by both male and female strippers, while men where only aroused by female strippers. Most women will make out with other girls after minimal alcohol, and will be willing to do sexual things to another girl during an ffm threesome. Normally the thing that makes a girl want to have sex with a guy will be non physical, non gender specific traits and will need these non gender specific traits to feel sexual attraction to them in the first place. Female sexuality is fluid while men have a hard wired sexual o

    • hard wired sexual orientation. Anthropologists say women don't actually have a sexual orientation, just an amorphous mess based off sexual narcissistic self affirmation You even explained in your post how male strippers are laughable, if you were attracted to the male body in off itself you would be aroused, you are only aroused by male bodies through emotional attraction , which obviously isn't attraction to the body or anything gender specific.

  • What's wrong with you?

  • Going to a dance club with the purpose of dirty dancing with other guys.

  • Ha ha, So are you saying a male going to a female strip club is cheating but when a woman is going to a male strip club its Not cheating?

    • No, what is and isn't cheating is determined by the couple involved and only them.

  • A candlelit conversation at a hunk bar?

    • Not sexy enough

    • What's the girl equivalent of getting a lap dance?

    • That's literally what I'M asking lol. So far I'm thinking giving a lap dance or club dancing are the best answers.

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  • I think it's going to a shoe store. There's all this stuff that looks good and the next thing you're home having given your money away feeling shitty about it and the shoes probably don't even fit right anyway.

    Strip clubs basically are big vacuums that suck money out of sexually frustrated men.

  • Shoes, and diamonds. Lots of both

  • I've only been in strip clubs a few times but i think they are more about power than sensuality. They are a power fantasy for men where women display what they are otherwise excluded from.

    Women have more equivocal feelings about power. They want it but they usually want a man who has even more than them. The closest thing I can think of would be a romance novel.

    • I think that while power might be a big part of it, that doesn't change the fact that you're sexually connecting to another person. So I'm wondering in the case of a relationship, if a guy went to a strip club what could a girl do to make it fair?

    • I guess my experience of strip clubs is too limited but I didn't see much in the way of sexual connection. Anything like that was entirely a fantasy in the guy's head. But maybe i just wasn't getting into the spirit of the thing. I'm the kind of guy who notices when movie plot lines don't make any sense. I could never be under the illusion a stripper was doing what she was doing for any other reason than money.

    • Your observations about women's reaction to male strippers is instructive I think. The reason the situation is absurd is because it appeals to women's power fantasy but doesn't work because the stripper is always in a subservient position and this is not something most women find attractive in a man. It's like a magic trick or practical joke, you laugh the way you do when you see through an optical illusion.

    • Show All

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