My girlfriend wants me to hit and choke her?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend have told me she wants me to be rougher with her in bed. I don't mind dominating my girlfriend in bed because of how much she enjoys it. But choking and slapping her is too much for me. I never understood why someone would fetishise/sexualize male on female abuse. It's just so strange to me. She tells me it's not for real and just for fun but I honestly don't see the fun in hurting someone. I know a lot of radical feminists don't consider men being able to be feminists. So call me feminist, feminist ally, pig w/e but I feel like I would break my core beliefs even if my girlfriend would enjoy it.

[redeyemindtricks]

Do you LOVE this woman?

Do you?

What would you put on the line, for her?

If you love this woman, then, at least this once, DO IT.
You do this.
For your woman.

Shut the fuck up.
Grit your teeth.
Swallow everything your mama taught you about feminism.

Hit her.

That's right, you hit yr woman.
You lock yr eyes onto hers, you see her instinctively start to flinch as you wind up, you feel yr protective instinct telling you to stop... and you stuff that instinct, and you slap her across the face. Just like she wants it.

Just like she NEEDS it.

NEEDS it.

Submissiveness runs deep, dude.
Way way WAY deeper than you realize.
Probably, way way way deeper than SHE realizes, too.

It runs against everything, absolutely every-fucking-thing, our culture tells women about what they are, and about what they want, and about what they need.
It flies in the face of EVERYTHING.

It takes a TREMENDOUS amount of courage and self-awareness -- on top of trust -- for a woman to even SAY this to you.

She TRUSTS YOU -- so much, SO fucking much, that yr backhand across her face will make her feel SAFE.

She's putting a LOT of herself on the line, here, dude.

If you think rejection hurts, as a man? You have NO FUCKING IDEA.
Men think that rejection by random strangers hurts. I mean, fuck that shit. Random strangers are random strangers.
She's about to face rejection by YOU, the man who's supposed to love her.

She is risking her self-image. AND her safety. AND her sexuality, AND possibly her heart.

DO IT.

Do it.

"Bla bla bla male oppression bla bla bla bla"
No, dude. Shut the fuck up, and hit her.

"Bla bla bla bla equality bla bla bla"
No dude, shut yr fucking mouth, and give her what she NEEDS.

Do it.

If you think "omg i could just SO not do that"... read some stories about dominant men and submissive women, WITH AN OPEN MIND.
Check the politics bullshit at the door.
See whether they turn you on.

Give it some time.

If your woman wants this, she will NEVER stop wanting it.

NEVER.

She will NEVER, EVER, EVER stop wanting it.

If you will not give it to her, you will NEVER fully satisfy her needs.
Never.
Not ever.
Never ever ever.

Look that woman in the eyes.
Take your hand, and gently stroke her face.
Then slap her.

Give her what she wants.

Then do it again.

Then fuck her and watch her explode.

Then... just hold her.

Everything you think you know, is wrong.
Everything.

[oldanddecrepid]

Ummm my mouth is still open LOL

[redeyemindtricks]

@oldanddecrepid lol care to elaborate?

[oldanddecrepid]

@redeyemindtricks You convinced me... I obviously know shit!!! Goes back to drawing board...

[redeyemindtricks]

@oldanddecrepid Hopefully, that blue anon up there will decide similarly. (and thanks for the implicit compliment on mah writing)

[0112358]

I think if he's just morally opposed he can see another angle. If he's not aroused by it though...

[ConsultantIsBack]

Hahaha😂 omg your comment is beyond words!! ❤ best gagger right here lol

[oldanddecrepid]

@redeyemindtricks I was ready to give you MH after about the first five lines hahaha

[oldanddecrepid]

@0112358 starting to see the other angle hahaha

[redeyemindtricks]

@0112358 "If he's not aroused by it though..." Well, ok, I'll give you that the girl is probably exerting zero effort here. Lol he actually wrote, "I don't mind dominating my girlfriend" -- who tf writes that? "I don't mind"? Don't mind? Srsly? "Don't mind" is how people are supposed to feel about the obligatory bite of their grandmother-in-law's actually-tasteless pastries, because, goddamnit, she didn't defect from under the iron curtain in an unheated shipping container just to have YOU shove that shit back in her face. THAT's "don't mind". If this girl is doing life right, then he should either love or loathe this idea, but, he should fucking well be PASSIONATE about it. Because she should know how to arouse that kind of passion. I mean, there's a good pissing-him-off and a bad pissing-him-off, and she should really get on top of learning the art of the good one. In the same way that, say, a good coach or military drill leader can (cont'd)

[redeyemindtricks]

... light the GOOD kind of fire under people's asses. I mean, that's still absolutely "pissing them off" -- it's psychologically and physiologically indistinguishable from other kinds of anger -- but, it's totally free of spite. She should learn how to do that. Because, well, then he'll DEFINITELY be aroused by it. Which kind of arousal? That's the $1,000,000 question -- could be the sexual kind, or could be the blow-up-in-her-face-like-a-bitch-boy kind. But, I think we can all agree that the sooner everyone finds out which one, the better. some people, I swear. How are some people so good at tolerating boredom and monotony?

[0112358]

Groomed to expect and accept it. I'd been married years before i realized i should have demanded more from the start.

[Asker]

Oh my goodness I'm laughing my ass off over here. :'). You're amazing

[oldanddecrepid]

Somehow I don't believe boredom and monotony would be an issue with you @redeyemindtricks... pays homage!

[redeyemindtricks]

Laughing at what? @oldanddecrepid Hah tx dude. I swear, if this conversation thread lasts another half hour, I'm gna have y'all asking where to go sign up to become manic-depressive. <3 Everything's got its upsides. PS You do know that the word is actually "decrepit", right? I mean, I try not to be That Annoying Writer Chick, but, I just HAD to ask, sry.

[oldanddecrepid]

I do know that... sounds like decrepid when old folks say it though! and sign me up... can still teach an old dog new tricks! LOL

[hazoplmeught]

you have definitely found you inner slut, like dirty girls

[HeWhoPonders]

Have you considered making a MyTake on all this. You'd be doing the male gender a great service, one that I feel many will be highly grateful for your insight on the subject of domination.

[AARON9890]

I feel like hitting her now after reading that 😂. You make a great point though, I'd say a large majority of women deep down like rough sex, it's a biological instinct in the fact a man should be dominant over his woman. For me showing I'm in charge in the bedroom it turns me on a LOT.

[redeyemindtricks]

@AARON9890 Hah well, thanks for the implicit compliment on my writing. It is a very deep-seated instinct, yes. Not the kind of thing you can dislodge by trying to "think it away".

[Aetumn]

Men are perfectly able to be feminists, otherwise women wouldn't have nearly as many rights as they do today (seeing they voted the laws giving women rights).
Back to your question, masochism doesn't have much to do with the feminist cause itself, at least to the masochist; your girlfriend isn't allowing anyone to do what she's asking you to. She trusts you to do it, because the physical sensation she'll get from it won't be accompanied with the state of mind you're afraid of. You'll be doing this not because you want to hurt or humiliate her, but to satisfy her physically.
On the other hand, you're also allowed to say this goes too far past your tolerance level. And she'll have to respect that. The deal has to go both ways.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Some women are just into rough sex like that, I know I am. I enjoy when my boyfriend chokes me in bed. It turns me on and I trust him to not take it too far. That's why trust is important and I know if I told him to, he would stop right away.

If your girlfriend really wants it, there's no harm in at least trying. It can make sex so much better (for the specific women who actually like rough sex, that is). However, if you're totally against it and if it would make you uncomfortable, then just tell her that you don't want to. These things should always be talked about beforehand. Hopefully you two will be able to come to some sort of compromise or figure something out that will work for you both.

[orphan]

choking is weird.

[xHoneyxBeex]

@orphan That's your opinion. If you don't like it then don't do it, but not everyone thinks like you.

[orphan]

there's a select group out there who sides w/ ya =D

[AustinMan]

Young man, I have a friend just like you while I'm a bad ass dominant sadist in bed. But let's chat about a bit here. When I was first approached about slapping, I was taken aback. It was too close to domestic violence for me and I abhor domestic violence above many other sins. She explained to me that a good smack during sex "put her back in her place." So we started with just little taps. When I saw her reaction, I was encouraged to very gradually escalate. We eventually got to where I'd just slap her good for being such a slut when she knew I loved it.

Do you enjoy spanking her?

[AustinMan]

Thanks for the MHG! Sorry for the terrible grammar in my answer. I guess I forgot to proofread it. What's the latest with you and your lady?

[Intraluminal]

It's very hard for people who are neither dominant or submissive to understand, but your girlfriend really *would* enjoy this because she knows she *can* trust you.

That said, you're not comfortable and I respect that.

Have you considered some ways that you could give her a more dominant *feeling* without doing those particular things. Maybe a bare-bottom spanking, or tieing her up (carefully), or making her wear a slave necklace?

[Asker]

Well we have done a lot of dom sub things. I'm just not comfortable with straight up hurting her with my own hands (or even a whip etc.) Normal spanking I'm fine with but slaps is a whole different deal in my opinion

[redeyemindtricks]

aaahhh ok look, people, siddown for a sec willya @intraluminal "ways that you could give her a more dominant *feeling* without doing those particular things" ^^ nope. won't work unless there is either (1) follow-through, or (2) the VERY clear, present, and tantalizing promise thereof. by #1 I mean it's already happened, and it was a good experience that didn't suck and wasn't awkward, and it's etched into the girl's mind. #2 is almost impossible to fake. I'm talking about stuff like... making her THINK yr gna hit her, hard, EVERY time you lovingly touch her, but never actually doing it. Keeping her suspended in denial. If hitting her is not something that you actually WANT to do, you'd need an Oscar-worthy performance to be able to fake that sort of teasing. __ Asker -- ok, look, lemme let you in on a little secret, k? Submissive women like denial. Being told NO makes us so wet that we just about dissolve our own legs and melt into the damn floor. (contd)

[redeyemindtricks]

Like, srsly... "No, little bitch, you can't have what you want" is every bit as thrilling as actually GIVING us what we want, just in a different way. (... and the frustration is cumulative, too... mmmmmyeah)

Again, I don't know if you are a better-than-awful actor. But, if you do this for yr woman, and you give her what she wants -- and you don't wimp out on her (please please) -- THEN you can hang this over her, pretty much forever.
The actual thoughts inside yr head might actually be "nah, I just don't want to do that today", but, you can play it off as "Ha, little slut, you want it so bad, and that's why you can't have it." And then, everybody wins.

Oh, and, dude!
I mean, if nothing else, do you not like watching a girl's face when she climaxes?
https://s16.postimg.org/wo4yzv0sz/oface4_1.gif

Even YOUR girl's?

Because, yeah, dude, if you hit her just right, that's exactly what her face is gna do.

[kittykatg]

And that's ok. You just have to let her know that. If you're uncomfortable doing something in bed you need to tell her just as much as she needs to tell you what makes her uncomfortable. Then you work on compromises. Maybe you'll grab her collarbone by her neck instead of her actual neck. Or maybe something else that you can both find enjoyable. But you need to talk openly about it and be receptive to each other

[Curiousness23]

spanking is ok and chocking on a dick too but slaping would just make me cry... but well i can see why she would like it, i just think it's irrespectful but well try it maybe not too hard and see how it goes

[ret04]

"spanking is ok and choking on a dick too" - I need a girl who thinks like you.

[Curiousness23]

@ret04 hahaah yeah i need a guy who likes me when i think like this ;p ♥

[godfatherfan]

in todays society, women can get men locked up for domestic abuse without any proof at all. So not only is hitting a woman not cool under any circumstance, but if you do it, and she gets pissed off at you, she can just call the cops and your life is ruined. I would drop her immediately. any woman that wants you to chock her and hit her has issues.
The last woman I dated that wanted me to chock her I just flat out said no.

[LovelyComputerVirus]

Just tell her that you're not comfortable with that, and that you won't do it. If she truly loves you then she'll understand, if not then maybe you're just not meant for each other. Hitting I can understand not wanting to do, but choking of a different story, when you choke it's supposed to be fun, not painful. You squeeze the sides to cut off blood, not oxygen. Anyways, hope I helped!

[angelagunning]

Just give her a good hard spanking till her backside red raw - that will stop her asking to be hit or chocked

[matheus_mb]

Let her know about it or reach a reasonable agreement. You can slap without hurting, just don't put strenght in your slap, for example. Choking is a different matter though.

[Mesonfielde]

Apparently she is aroused by abusive behavior. If she gets enough of it she probably wouldn't think it's all fun and games. Ah well, maybe if she gets it once she will never ask for it again.

[05Jueey]

Aw that's hot. But it sounds like you aren't sexually compatible. You guys need to figure out if sexual incompatibility is a dealbreaker or not

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Just tell her you can't do it it will just you if u did

[AARON9890]

This is a tough one because you want her to be happy but if it's something youve tried, don't like and can't bring yourself to do then i don't think you should do so. If you haven't tried it beig particularly rough before, then give it a go and try it out. If you then don't like it you should maybe try and experiment with other things in bed. Offer alternatives to her or try and choose something you'd both like.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Are you really over-conservative-religious or something? Wth? Just do it, it's not even a big deal. Choking is really hot too, you'll love it probably

[OrangeBoy]

Yeah, i understand you side, but you don't need to be harsh with her, just do it smoothly to give her what she wants. Try it :)

[GreatnessRevamped]

Get another girlfriend because you ain't man enough to handle this one. lol.

[ColinHarvey]

Even the most grueling hard-core feminists have boyfriends that ride motorcycles and plug their noses while face-fucking them. Don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

You are a good guy. Whatever you do, do NOT do what she wants with this. I say this in the nicest way possible, but to me it sounds like a mental issue.

Like how people who were abused as kids tend to end up dating abusive people? To me, in my super unprofessional opinion, it sounds like something alone those lines. Maybe she should seek some therapy and find out why she has this fetish?

[Anonymous]

So tell her that's going too far.

[Anonymous]

Stop being a white knight! Slap the fuck out of her, choke her and call her your good nasty little slut. Trust me dude, if you're not going to do it, she's going to find someone who will. A woman with a strong need to do a fetish will get it one way or another, or else sex for her just isn't complete. She won't be able to reach that ultimate Orgasm she's been craving for. Man up and please your woman! Or let her go so you both can find a partner who like the same things.

[Anonymous]

Being rougher in bed doesn't necessarily mean you have to hurt her/cause her pain. I'm not particularly bothered about rough sex and not too keen on feeling 'pain' necessarily, but I do enjoy a little neck grab/spanking from behind. 1. it spices things up a bit and 2. doesn't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Consensual slapping isn't abuse, any more then people in contact sports who play within the rules are committing abuse on one another.

People play rugby, football, hockey, boxing, etc. That's okay, isn't it? Why can't she have sex be a little more full contact if she enjoys it?

[Anonymous]

i k what she means , u souldn't feel awkward , for me i'll find it amazing and fun , it will bring me the joy , i'll be super happy , for us girls we looove the guy who makes it rougher on us time on time i dk it's just amazing , it makes us feel our femininity and his power u k :D so just don't be afraid on her nothing bad will happen , and believe me she'll love u more and want u much much more