I have a higher sex drive than my man, he wants me to tone it down. What can I do?

[Ayame07]

I'm a very sexual person. And I would ideally like to have sex several times a day. But my boyfriend says he'd be happy with only having sex three times a week. He told me he wants me to tone it down. How can I do that? Any tips or advice on how to lower your sex drive? And masturbating doesn't help me much. I'll masturbate 4-5 times a day, but I still want sex. And just looking at my boyfriend makes me want him. I don't know what to do. Its very troublesome. I'm constantly day dreaming about sex and its distracting. I don't want to find someone else with a higher sex drive, I just want mine more manageable.

[Sara413]

Is this relationship fairly new? It'll probably tone down on its own after the novelty wear off.

When my boyfriend and I started dating I was 24/7 horny. Probably because I hadn't been getting regular sex for a very very long time. But now it's a year and a half down the road and we live together, and I've found I'm generally good with a few times a week.

[Ayame07]

Me and him have been together about five months. But we were together for almost a year before this time. So nothing really new. I don't know. It wasn't this high when we first got together. I don't know what's changed

[AustinMan]

You can't "tone it down." It sounds to me like you need to move on to a boyfriend that craves sex as much as you do. I'm much like you and I make it a habit to have a serious conversation with the lady when sex is imminent. We discuss our wants and needs sexually in a very direct, calm, matter of fact way. It sets expectations as well.

[AceOtana1]

Well, I can think of two options. One, you take up a hobby, focus on something else and take your mind of it. Two, pin him down and have fun whenever you're in the mood.

Joking about the second, unless he's into female on male rape fetish. :P

[Ayame07]

Lol, I wish he was! But sadly no. I've taken up hiking but it seems like my drive has increased since then.

[AceOtana1]

Well if trying to take your mind off it isn't working. You're going to need to convince him to play more often. I also experienced sex exhaustion because I had this young woman who wanted to wrestle, tickle me and pin me down constantly. I needed a break. But she wanted to keep playing. So we made a compromise. We talked about trying other things that might satisfy both sides. She wanted to try facesitting, and for me this just meant laying there, she'd pleasure herself. It worked. My nose and face was often red but trying something else did do the trick. Maybe just try something different. I'm into female on male rape by the way. Had this woman who wanted to facesit me but I wasn't in the mood and I needed to be somewhere so I turned her down. So she pinned me down and did it anyway. Then I discovered that I really enjoyed having a woman force sex on me. Gained a new fetish... :P

[Ayame07]

Thank you for your advice. He refuses to go down on me. But I will try other things. He's not as adventurous as I am. But I hope I an find something that works

[AceOtana1]

Ah, well hopefully you'll find something you'd both be into. Add a little variety. Hope I've helped in some way. Best of luck. :)

[NJ_Casanova]

If your into girls... would he let you have a girl on the side?

[Ayame07]

I am, but no he won't. Last time we dated, when I left him, I left him for a girl.

[NJ_Casanova]

Got it, I just thought that's what I would do if I got physically injured and couldn't satisfy her. I wouldn't feel threatened or jealous of a girl with my girl, actually it would be a major turn on to just watch;-* I say injured because I never found a girl that wants it even remotely close to as much as I do, I'm the one getting the "not today". All of my guy friends are like me and want it more than our women. I think the only place where women want it more, is on the internet;-P

[Ayame07]

Lol. I can understand. I haven't met many girls with my sex drive either. We must be like unicorns. Do we exist? On the internet, Yes. Will you ever find one in real life? Likely not lol

[NJ_Casanova]

They're call Strippers, LOL Most of my female friends are dancers. They have the highest drive of any group of girls I've found... but still not as high as mine;-)

[GingerGuy]

You are who you are. You can't really "tone it down" and forcing yourself to is only going to make you resent him later for doing so. It's possible it might decrease as you age but it may not either. I know you don't want to hear it but you guys may not be compatible sexually. You may need to find a boyfriend that wants it as much as you do.

[FakeName123]

You can't tone it down. What you need is called self-control.

Think about it this way: Your favourite food is a lot better, because you don't get it daily. Same with sex. Not to mention that all the tension and pressure builds up making the explosion even bigger.

If you can't do that, you need to reconsider your relationship. If your relationship is great but just that your boyfriend "only" wants 3 times a week sex is a dealbreaker, you really should reconsider your priorities.

[Ayame07]

Where did I say it was a deal breaker? Where did I say I had any problem with him wanting it only the time a week? I have specifically said to several people that I don't want to end it with the man I love over this. I acknowledge that my sex drive is unusually high. Do not try to tell me to reconsider my priorities, when you know nothing of them. You're inferring stuff that I never said. Also, I have self control. If I didn't if be out here having sex every time I wanted it with whomever would be willing. And one last point. Sex is nothing like a favorite food that should be savored only so often. There are countless ways to enjoy it. Different positions to be implemented, sex toys, role play, etc. Sex can still be enjoyable and just as exciting if done often. I was looking for advice on controlling my sex drive. You offered nothing but condescension. So bye.

[FakeName123]

You are just going nuts. I wrote the word "If". It means in case it is a dealbreaker. So don't accuse me of things you are doing yourself.

[Ayame07]

Why are you throwing out opinions for which I specified I wanted the exact opposite? And as if the word if makes you less of a condescending ass? I specifically noted that I didn't want to end it with him, nor did I mention any problem with the amount of sex he wants. I simply put it exactly how he did. The fact that you flipped it into something that had nothing to do with the question, and with such derision, is what caused my snap back. Your willingness to comment of my supposed lack of self control and priorities with out knowledge of such also led to this. And it seems as though your knowledge is indeed quite limited due to your inability to read and properly comprehend the aforementioned question I had posed while asking for advice.

[FakeName123]

Girl, calm down. I said that if you find it to be too difficult to self-control or too important to have daily sex, you should reconsider. You know what the word "if" means? Good, because its not an absolute but a possibility considering on how YOU view the situation. That you are reading things into it is solely your own issue and not mine. So calm your tits and don't throw your rage at me just because you assume I said something that I didn't.

[NotTheFBI]

That lucky SOB... why the hell do guys get ladies like this and talk that shit while I keep getting ladies who run out of breathe so fast? Dammit! Lol but seriously, you got a high sex drive... that's... AWESOME!!! But if you want to tone it down for him I dunno... yoga maybe? XD

[genericname85]

just masturbate then xD and have sex every time he wants to. if it doesn´t work out for you, there´s not much you can do but look for another guy.

[pavlove]

you may want to take a break from sex for a while...

[Ayame07]

Not being snarky or anything, but how could that help?

[pavlove]

you seem slightly addicted

[Nick_D]

you need me :D

[skeptic007]

calm the hell down you will live

[Ayame07]

I wasn't being dramatic and I don't think I'm going to die. I was simply wanting to curb my sexual appetite and seeking advice on how to do so.

[YuNggRooST3R007]

Jst make ur self more desirable...
shave all ur hair... clean ur snatch...
maybe even do slme sqwats

[Fortheholidays]

Remind him that some girls out there really dont want sex as much as you, three times a week could seem like a lot to others (even if its hard to imagine), everyones different and relationships are based on give and take. Tell him to get over himself and give you a little more attention. More sex is hardly a punishment

[Drega]

i think you need help

[Ayame07]

I agree. Hence asking for advice

[Alexwonderful]

stop beinmg horny

[AthleticArtist]

I would find someone else who can keep up! 😀

[Ayame07]

But I love my boyfriend. I mean, he never denys me when I get frisky. He just doesn't want it as much as me. I don't want to leave him because of a slightly less amount of sex than what I want.

[AthleticArtist]

So you masturbste 4-5 times s day? Very impressive. And I thought I masturbated s lot!

[Anonymous]

I'd split up. Your drive is yours, his is his. He is average to slightly below average, and you're right up there with other high drive women. You might struggle finding a guy who wants it multiple times a day (though theyr'e out there) but a LOT of guys are happy with daily sex, or even slightly more.

Move on. This won't magically fix itself, if anything drive differences tend to get worse not better.