IS MY TEACHER BEING INAPPROPRIATE?

[Anonymous]

I got a new teacher (male) and he's has been filling in for my teacher on maternity leave. he's quite young, not experienced teacher (he teaches sports but this is a humanities class). Appearance wise, he's okay looking and his best feature is that he has a really tall, athletic body. All the girl students find him attractive and flirt with him, but he never does it back. In fact he looks pissed off when they do. He is nicest to me in the class. Says I am the smartest etc. (That's uncomfortable because it makes everyone feel awkward because he is always praising me). During class he comes over to me to review my essays and give advice. He pulls up a chair beside me and leans on my table, gets too close, rubs his leg on mine, touches my hand etc. He doesn't review anyone else's essays? While everyone's writing he circles the class and always has his eyes on me (even when he's talking to other students). When he walks passed me he touches me, squeezes my arm, pats me on the back or shoulder and winks at me. Again only to me. He always suggests I come see him after school for extra work or stuff to read, but I don't want to, for obvious reasons. (Creepy). Then one day I had to go because I needed to finish some work. So I arrived at his class (brought a friend for safety) and knocked on the door and tried to enter but it was locked. (Note my friend was not in view from the doors window). He came up to the door in boxer briefs and smiling I freaked out and backed up while he unlocked the door, I pulled my friend closer to me. He opened it, saw my friend, let us in and just put on some gym clothes and left. This is definitely not something a teacher should be doing. Next class he acted normal, still touchy etc and just staring at me 24/7. My friends (in the class) think he's attracted to me esp. Because I have a womanly, developed, tall figure. WHAT IS GOING ON, HELP. And what should I do because he's a good teacher but makes me uncomfortable.

[laughingdeer]

I had a female teacher do this to me. We have a class of just 5 students and it has all stopped now cause I ignore her hard and avoided her.

Start of semester I was the only guy in a class of 7 girls. I was struggling with beating my shyness as it was. I told my mom how she was behaving, which was very much like the behaviour of your teacher. She asked if we should speak to the police or the authorities, but then it is a very uncertain thing to deal with as I felt. In my culture, such things are way more controversial than suppose in the West. So I waited more weeks to see if she does something more offensive, luckily she stopped gradually. She was fuck ugly too, so you can't imagine the gross disgust I felt, it felt the same as a gay guy hitting on me, which is creepy and disturbing.

But dear, you dont take the chance. Speak about it to your parents and at least make them aware. Speak to some elders (adults, proper mature adults) and see what they advice in context of your situation, factoring in who you are, what you are, your culture, etc.

Good luck and stay safe.

[laughingdeer]

And YES, HE IS BEING INAPPROPRIATE AND UNPROFESSIONAL!!!

[Asker]

Thanks for this! Well I can't tell my family or parents because he would be beaten up or worse. a guy isn't even allowed to look at me so you can imagine the problems telling them would cause. Thanks for sharing your experience too. I was once the only girl in a class of 6 (advanced maths). I dropped the class lol, good luck with your class.

[cth96190]

I am an English and history teacher.
To answer your question: yes.
He is being grossly unprofessional and inappropriate, in a sexual predator sort of way.
Proving something to the standard required by a school board, or the police, is another matter.
My suggestion would be to not respond in any way that could be seen as positive.
If he touches you, pull away.
Confine all conversation to the work.
Pull back and put up a wall.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice! I do confine all conversation to work, though he does try be informal with the class and personal. I keep my head down and ignore and focus on my work. As far as pulling away, that's the next step definitely, I just didn't want to make it awkward so I just wouldn't move.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'd like to think that he has enough sense not to try anything blatantly sexual with you, because he could get fired or worse. He definitely likes you, no question about it. What's the age difference if you don't mind me asking? He's acting like he's a high school student himself, so if he's young enough and you can get on his mental level, you could ask him if he likes you and say you're not interested.

[Opinion Owner]

Or at least tell him that you don't like attention and ask him to stop openly praising you in class/treating you different than everyone else.

[Asker]

Thanks for your opinion! I'm 17, 18 this year. He's in his early 20s. 22 or 23, can't remember. And you're right, his lessons actually feel like I'm being taught by a peer. I actually know more than him and he gets help from me on what to do in class. But he has upped his game and he seems almost expert in the subject now.

[laughingdeer]

It is normal for men even in their early 20s to be attracted to 17-18 yr olds. Even I feel attracted, because I feel we have the same level of maturity. Guys mature much slower you know. But still, I feel its not that much appropriate for a guy of that age to be hitting on a 17yr old. I would never do it, inspite of the attraction.

[AthleticMom]

He wants sex with you.
Being in boxers could be tied to this but also
this is how men work out in their offices when new duties keep them out of the gym... to maintain an athletic body takes daily hours of work. Boxers only get sweaty, towel off put clothes back on.

So long as you a teamed with a friend and always say NO, you'll be OK and now you've learned a bit more about mature males in sports.

[wellLoved]

It is entirely inappropriate, immoral and illegal. It also violates the ethics code that teachers are held to. I know this because I am a teacher.

You need to let someone know. I would suggest chatting with your school counselor, a parent or another teacher you trust.

Do not be in the same room alone with him. Always take a friend with you.

[AustinMan]

Just take him aside and ask him to stop. If he doesn't, tell someone in the administration.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Goldie757]

Report him to your headmaster pronto, this man should not be allowed to teach.

Something similar happened to me, instead I just tolerated the behavior. I wish I reported him, because in the end he attempted to rape another student.

[Asker]

Omg, that's horrible! Thanks for the opinion. I'll consider it.

[madhatters4]

definitely seems inappropriate... you can approach him and tell him you are not comfortable with his behavior or go to a guidance counselor or administration

[Asker]

Thanks!

[NedfromtheNed]

He could just be comfortable in his skin and thusly doesn't mind if you saw him in his underwear.
Also, some teachers are just really buddy-buddy with some students. Probably thinks you can achieve great things.

[matheus_mb]

Yes, he's being inappropriate, it's not something he should do, principally because he's your teacher. And yes, I also think he's attracted to you.

[Asker]

Thanks for the opinion.

[AhGojira]

You full of shit... No teacher is going to walking around his classroom in his boxers.

[Asker]

I'm glad you're as shocked as I was. That's exactly what I would say. It was an empty class, after school. No other teachers in that area of the school. His excuse was he was changing to go to the school gym.

[AhGojira]

I still don't believe you.

[Asker]

Okay well, there's nothing I can do about what you believe. Sharing your outrage, shows that you must think this is inappropriate so technically answered my question, thanks.

[AhGojira]

I'm not outraged, I just don't believe you. I'm calling bullshit.

[Asker]

Again, that's a pretty useless statement?

[AhGojira]

You're trolling, so I'm happy to return the favor to waste your time just as you have wasted mine.

[Asker]

I'm honestly not trolling!! This actually happened and I'm confused as to why you'd assume that I would be trolling. Other than you think it's too unusual for a teacher to do such a thing. Hence, you answered my question. You're not wasting my time, I'm here to read the responses, your just wasting your own, if anything.

[AhGojira]

You're such a liar...

[Asker]

WTF OMG Looool. Okay, you can go now.

[AhGojira]

You're still a liar...

[Asker]

Are you sure you're 34?

[AhGojira]

Yep, and I'm also absolutely sure you're a liar...

[Asker]

I know a 34 year old man would not be sitting and arguing over wether a 17 year old girl is lying about her creepy teacher. 1. You must be a creepy teacher yourself. 2. You're a potato, with nothing better to do. Conclusion: leave because you're not doing yourself any favours. If you actually reply again, I'm done :)

[AhGojira]

You're a liar that just keeps digging your hole deeper. Just take some responsibility and go sit in a corner and think about what you've done so I can stop rubbing your nose in it.

[Asker]

:) :)

[franzyfrenzy]

Talk to him and tell him to leave you alone or, if you're too uncomfortable, talk to the administration or have your parents talk to either.

[Asker]

Thanks for the opinion.

[NYkid27]

You should tell your parents then go to the principal with them

[Asker]

Thanks for the opinion.

[RationalMale]

... he was in a locked classroom standing around in his underwear? WTF?

[Asker]

He was sitting at his desk acctually. Just a pile of clothes beside him. Wtf exactly.

[RationalMale]

You probably should report that... as in, email someone now.

[2tall2handle]

Tell the school administration or the cops, or your parents. That should be obvious.

[Asker]

Thanks for the opinion.

[Dred1614]

That's pretty damn creepy

[Asker]

Yep, because he's a teacher. But apart from that I actually think we have a lot in common and he's not bad to look at. Ugh, moral dilemmas.

[Dred1614]

That's one like you need not cross.

[Prince_teddy4u]

You're in trouble. Help! Help! Help!

[Anonymous]

That's one huge assed pervert.

You need to talk to the school principal and let your parents know about this creep

[Asker]

Thanks for the opinion.

[Anonymous]

i totally masturbated to that story. fap fap fap... .

[Asker]

Nasty. And there's nothing to fap to in the story,

[Opinion Owner]

there is the hot schoolgirl teacher senario. fap fap fap.. .

[Anonymous]

No, to be honest this just sounds like a weird teacher to me but not a pedo... I had a teacher that would go around grabbing people arms, doing peoples ties, winking at everyone, leaning over people getting really close... we all loved that guy he was so fucking funny, half he just put cat videos on youtube instead of making us work XD

[Asker]

Hmm, I thought so too. But other classmates say that they notice a difference in his treatment towards me. I found it uncomfortable naturally because I don't get close to guys at all. But I just thought, whatever. Until other people told me it was weird and then the whole boxer situation.

[Opinion Owner]

Fuck, sorry i missed that lie (mild dyslexia) Yeah, not sure what that was about, maybe talk to someone higher up?