Problems with overwhelming orgasm and not lasting long enough for my partner to finish?

[Anonymous]

Okay so here's the thing I'm new to sex, and I'm also a girl just to clarify haha. I've only been active for maybe four or five months and my boyfriend is the first guy I've done anything with, that includes making out even. And when we have sex I always get way too overwhelmed and have to stop him, since we've been active I think he's only gotten his twice, and I feel really really bad about that. I want him to get his more often but I just can't get past this overwhelming feeling of pleasure, and the thing is it doesn't even come from clit stimulation, it's just from penatration. I try to last but it's just too much, sometimes I don't even orgasm before I have to stop him. So I was wondering if anyone had the same problem or if they possibly had any ideas on how to fix it. Also there's another issue, sometimes when we start to have sex it'll still hurt me, or we'll be in the middle of having sex and it'll start feeling really good but then all of a sudden I'll get a bad cramp and have to stop him because of that too. So I was also wondering if anyone else has that problem too and how I can fix it. Any help or ideas will be greatly appreciated, thank you.

[Hellboy71]

I've actually heard of this before, and it's always with women who have just started to have sex. You just aren't used to the feeling, and you will actually have quite powerful orgasms, that is at least what has been said in other cases I've seen described like this before. I think the best thing you can do is just make sure you are wet enough number one, and you will have to do your best to push past the cramping feeling, if you are able to push past the cramping, you might be really surprised by what happens after that. The cramping that you are feeling could be your body tensing up before releasing.

[AustinMan]

A great problem to have. How would you feel about him tying you down to the bed, blindfolding you, and just fucking your brains out and if you cum, you cum, but you can do nothing to stop things. You'd of course have a safe word in case you feel like you're about to be injured. Using the safe word for other reasons would get you spanked, hard on the bare.

What do you think about all that?

[Asker]

Yeah I would try that. The only problem I can see with it is telling my boyfriend that I want to try it. I'm extremely shy when it comes to talking about sex.

[AustinMan]

I can understand that but the key to really exceptional sex IS to talk about it. How about if you wrote him a note, in your hand on paper so it's esp intimate, and told him you want his help to get over your shyness when it comes to talking about sex? Did you like the idea of being spanked on the bare?

[tinyclit]

You could try switching to doing oral sex and then do each other as separate events. That way he can get his and you can get yours. This works extremely very well for us here, but I realize not everyone is an oral sex fan.

[Asker]

Thank you. But that's the thing, I'm a shy girl so when it comes to sex I still get really nervous about a lot of things and giving him a blow job makes me feel really nervous/awkward. I've done it before but like I said it makes me extremely nervous and I don't know why :/

[aliceinwonderland69]

Tiny clit such good with the sex

[tinyclit]

@aliceinwonderland69 Yeah okay I'm an oral sex nut. :)

[MarieLovesIt]

Me too, TC... me too :)

[bestadviceguy]

OK so does your pain issue have anything to do with your period, anxiety, or not being wet enough?

So about the other... you feel so good you have to stop sex? why?

[Asker]

Sometimes it's from not being wet enough but the pain I'm talking about feels like a period cramp even when it's not close to my time. It usually happens when he starts to go faster or tries to go deeper but like I said it also happens when I start to get really excited or when it starts to feel really good. It may have something to do with anxiety though because I'm shy when it comes to sex and i have regular anxiety too. And when I stop him it's because it feels so good it's really overwhelming and I just can't take it.

[bestadviceguy]

I suffer from anxiety too which is why I asked. I know it may not be a comfortable question, but do you go to the doctor regularly, or take medication? Have you been checked 'down there' by the doctor?

[Asker]

No I self medicate I don't want to be tied to a doctor for my anxiety relief. And no I haven't been checked yet, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of it.

[bestadviceguy]

I can only suggest having or meeting with a doctor... however, what I mean is find a regular doctor that you can get comfortable with. One other suggestion is I work with an anxiety group on Facebook. He will not know, nor anyone else, it's a private group and the support is amazing.

[allahu_snackbar]

Take it up the butt.

[Alan180188]

ah come on ! you are a girl ! it's not a problem, you can cum up to ten times if you want !!, if it hurts or it's to tense after orgasm the take a rest for 5 mins and use the time to kiss him, give him a BJ or do nasty things to him before continuing !
other alternatives are finish him by a hand job or start anal sex !

[Anonymous]

Lube man

[Asker]

We've tried, we even tried the water based ones and I'm allergic to them.

[Anonymous]

Do you have to stop because of pain, or because the pleasure is too intense? If the latter, you may want to experiment with him continuing to pound you through your orgasm!

[Asker]

I usually have to stop him because the pleasure is too intense and I guess as a natural reflex I stop him without thinking. The pain only happens every now and then but when it does it's pretty bad.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, next time when you feel the need to stop because of the pleasure, just have him keep fucking you with a nice, hard, steady rhythm and see what happens! ;-)

[Anonymous]

You never gave him neither he got any. Sex is mutual. Stop wording it like you gave him something.

[Asker]

Ummmm you do realize I was saying he never got his as in he never came. I wasn't saying that it wasn't mutual and I wasn't saying that I gave him anything. Now if you have nothing helpful to say then please don't answer the question.

[Opinion Owner]

I am sorry. I thought you were talking about giving sex not orgasm. Well in that case have you tried practicing penetration with a dildo.