How to relax during oral?

I have been with a few guys and I can't acheive an orgasm with them (even my current guy).
Even with oral and fingering.
I can't seem to relax.
The whole time I squirm and end up telling him to stop. I know he's feeling like shit bc he can't give me an orgasm and I don't know what to do.
It's like my clit is too sensitive? The only way I get myself there is rubbing the hood (full clit coverage). I can masturbate with him there and get an orgasm, so I am comfortable with him seeing and hearing me have one.
I want an orgasm with him so badly, just a little lost.
How to relax during oral?
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