the 'why' is kind of an age-old thing, and is mostly psychological (I think). As to the 'how,' it takes quite a bit of preparation. Some tips:
-you can use lots of lubricant, if you want, but I would actually recommend not doing so at first. Instead, rely on precum to get it in, and then lubricant only after you've already gotten comfortable. The reason being it takes a while to generate enough precum for anal penetration, which forces both of you to not be in a rush to get it in your butt. Lubricant tends to make people think that they can just push it in and everything should be fine. This is not the case. The ass must be teased up and coaxed into relaxing, and a good way to do this is to rub his cock on it for a while.
-spooning is the best position. This allows him to rub your clit during anal sex, and gives you better control of the angle.
-that initial penetration should be very slow. I've taken upward of 20 minutes of tip-deep thrusting before advancing any further. Fortunately, this is precisely the sort of thing that helps generate more precum, so it works out well. But tip-deep thrusting is great because the tip is soft, and it's much easier to get used to being penetrated with something soft and wet than it is with the thick rigid shaft. So, I would consider this a sort-of 'part 2' of the foreplay to make you more receptive. Spending an hour on part 1/part 2 of your foreplay is not unheard of.
Assuming that you are looking for help actually ENJOYING anal, you should read my post here:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1313095-what-s-the-best-way-to-do-anal-sex-for-the-first-time
My advice is: don't rush it. If it takes 10 or even 20 times before you graduate from fingers to his penis, that's okay. It's normal to have to work up to it. But once you do, you can actually relax and enjoy it, and girls wouldn't do it - and ASK for it - if it couldn't feel great for them.
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I'm no expert because I still haven't been able to get past the pain either. What I've read though is it takes a lot of relaxing and even more lube. Then can feel quite good. Good luck. Let me know if you can actually get it done. You're a better girlfriend than me lol.
Sorry, wife...
I'm not sure if people who don't wanna try anal are close minded or just have their own minds.
I mean, do whatever you want with your body in the privacy of your home, just don't announce yourself as this or that so that people don't accuse you of being a prude.
Anal is very sensitive and not meant for everyone, you have to be really relaxed and I mean really, the first times it hurts and sometimes for others it won't hurt as much.. its important to go slow and NOT doggy style, try laying on your side and heaps of lube.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Anal is very erotic but it's also very dominant. Is your husband a dominant lover? If so, here's a way to do it without a lot of pain. The key is his patience and you relaxing.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a6855-comfortable-anal-sex-for-beginners-a-guide-to-the-first-time
It's a very normal situation. Many women don't get or understand why their man would want their ass.
It's like a new virginity , it's naughty and kinky almost dirty but in a sexual way.
It's also very dominating from a guys point of view and very submissive for a woman to give to her man.
Firstly you need to get over it being dirty guys simply don't see it that way and plenty of good lube will prevent it.
To learn to to or giveaway anal the first few time you must take control. It hurts because your tense and expecting it to hurt. It's being rushed so ever thing to to fast and rushed.
I posted to soon sorry. Take time to plan a night buy a good anal lube online some even help desensitized the anus. Have a romantic meal bath together. Then get him one way or another get your husband to give you an orgasm this will relax you tremendously. Know tell him he will get what he want but he must do it your way or not get it at all. Kneel on the edge of your bed and get him to lube your ass inside and out but keep the giveaway from your ass cheeks. You cannot have to much lube. Get him to lube his cock well too. I can assure you he will be rock hard at the prospect of you giving him your ass. Ask him to be patient work a finger into your ass then two tell him not to rush. Now she you ready get him to stand behind you and only line his cock up to your ass hole. Then you reach back with your dry hands and part you dry cheeks. You back onto he's cock as slowly as you levelling him to be still or you will stop. Take it in and out a few times allow you're ass time to adjust.
Anal just doesn't work the first time. This takes time to work up to. Your body has to accept him. You need to be conformable and in the mood or else you will be too tight, he will over stretch your muscles and cause pain. For sure, lots of lube is needed. It can be a very erotic and exciting experience that can increase the bond between you two. A lot of the negativity with it is because it is mentally portrayed as such a bad thing. The more mentally into it you are, the better it will become as your body will be more relaxed for it.
It can take many tries to find one that doesn't hurt the woman. although I found that when it was in the heat of the moment, it tends to work the first time, every time. My ex loved it and if she told me to do it while we were in the middle of things, boom, worked great. if we planned it, she would tense up and it would take a while. Try lots of alcohol.
If it didn't work before... what is he going to do that is going to make it any different? He's probably just hearing about it all the time friends/society/movies/radio and wants to know what's the big deal/curious. I never have been able do to my girth, but I'm happy with PIV anyway;-)
That's one thing I've never done and I have no interest in trying.
You should start with a small toy and start working on loosening up a bit.
If he is good, he will work on loosening you up during foreplay.
And get a good Anal lube... like Anal Glide from Doc Johnson
And go Slooooow and Eaaaasy
he wants to try it until he is satisfied, which may be never because he might always crave it from time to time.
Try playing with toys and eventually build up to anal
Lots and lots of lube.
Make sure you're both already warned up and amply aroused. You need to be as relaxed as possible. Fingers go first as well to get your body used to it. It takes time and prep. Can't just dive in
you are doing it wrong then ! first he should massage the anus muscles till they drop loose and use his fingers with a lot of lube then try doing it !
Anal is fun if you do it right.
Use a lot of lube and relax.
There's huge amount of prep you have to do before you have anal sex. There are tons of information on YouTube you can refer to and I highly recommend you and you husband to watch these videos. It'll be too much for me to type. Best of luck
You need to read up on anal for the first time. You dont just try to shove a dick in there, needs to warm up, have him perform oral on your ass, start with one finger, after a while two, when you are relaxed try his dick
My advice is..
Get a lot of information about the topic to your man. Get the links and give to him, or evven print it all.
Make him read and learn about it. You don't have to go into pain if he's competent.
Gets lots of lube and you have to be relaxed if not it hurts a lot more. If you are relaxed it will kinda hurt going in but then it goes away and feels good. It's definitely a personal thing. Make sure you have gone to the bathroom. There are toys that you can use to stretch you out a little. Over all just talk to your husband. Watch some anal porn. Do a little research. It might be for you and in the end it might not be. Good luck
You should start with lots of lube and some small toys. Work your way up to something the size of his penis. It's just a matter of relaxing your sphincter muscles enough.
try using lots of lube, and have him go slow
tried lube?
let him... but properly prepare yourself, use enough lube, and let him finger you to loosen you up.
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