Guys, is it annoying to have to use lube every time for sex?

Question

My husband has to use lubricant every time we have sex because I kept getting vaginal tears. I went to the gyno twice for it to be sure nothing was wrong, and confirmed the issue is dryness. It's really very painful and it's never fun to see blood. When we use lubricant we rarely have problems and it's enjoyable. But obviously he gets it on his hands, it's one that isn't sticky or annoying thankfully. And also it is one step before having sex. We don't have sex often like we used to. But I don't know if it's because of that or just that he isn't in the mood. He just says he isn't. We have sex often enough I'd say. But I feel like it's a burden to use it. I asked him about that too but obviously he doesn't want to have to but never complains that he is using it.

prettylittlemynx · Accepted Answer

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. If I were with a girl, I would be more annoyed at the idea that I wasn't getting her wet enough, that she was not enjoying it so much that I would risk tearing her up if I tried anything. Remember that sex is fun. It's fun it's freaky it's dirty it's naughty it's personal and it's just you and your partner alone wherever you choose to have your fun. You should try focusing on turning yourself on. Figuring out which kinks you prefer, dive in and induldge your fantasies, both classic and twisted. watch some porn. Read erotica. Talk to him about what turns him on, or try to think about the kinds of things that turn him on- and then figure out what turns you one about doing them. Then when you do those things, you won't just be turning him on, you'll also turn yourself on because of what you like about doing it

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I understand you caring about how he feels, but you're overthinking it and, dare I say it, creating a bigger problem. How can you get wet if you're worrying that much? How can he enjoy it when he knows you're worrying about it?

I think we women do this a lot - making everything our fault. It is what it is, if you can't fix it, then you work with it. If he had to wear a condom, would you also make it your fault because of the possibility of getting pregnant? Because I doubt you would blame him for ejaculating...
It's a couple's thing and you deal with it together.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My ex and I used to use different lubes we liked all the time just for fun. Luckily both of us responded well to the warming and tingling kinds, and also played with different flavors.

So it doesn't have to seem like a disruption - it can be part of foreplay.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If we're being honest?

I am sure he would rather not do it. Same goes for me and most men. Lube is fun as an extra, not as fun as a necessity. That's the brutal reality. But it is more like going to the bathroom sometime before. It isn't something you necessarily want to do but it isn't that much of a hassle either. Depending on how you do it. Don't make it a problem and it won't really be one to him either.

Now the second reality that is more important is that he doesn't really mind. The main issue Id imagine most guys would have is the haunting question of whether or not you not being dripping wet is because he is somehow not turning you on.

accomplice · Accepted Answer

Not annoying, but I could imagine as a young man feeling badly that I wasn't able to get her natural lubrication to be sufficient. As I have gotten older, though, so have the women that are my partners. Usually as a woman gets older, lube is needed more and more. Now, we need to use lube every time unless I go down on her first, and occasionally even when I do.

The only time it is a negative for me is when she reaches for the lube instead of asking me to go down on her.

Tdieseler · Answer

Lube is ALWAYS good... especially when using it avoids a potentially painful event. sure, there is like a time gap where everything has to pause and its applied but thats like a drop in pleasurable pond. thats why he said its not a problem. he has two good reasons... lube is added pleasure... and you don't get hurt.

burlen · Answer

I don't find lube annoying. However, natural vaginal lube is arousing than lube, in my opinion. Vaginal wetness signifies she is on heat.

MikeGaultier · Answer

Why not just apply it yourself? Try that a few times and see if he still isn't "in the mood." Although, I doubt something like applying lubricant would bother most men.

summiter · Answer

Not at all... I think lube adds a lot to intercourse. Keep using it as it should make the experience better for both of you and should help you orgasm more. How often do you two have sex now?

NJ_Casanova · Answer

If she could produce enough natural lube but is still getting aroused/wants sex... I wouldn't have problems with using lube.

DomAlderson273 · Answer

Do you do plenty of foreplay? Oral on both the male and female can help this.

Intraluminal · Answer

It's his responsibility to help you to be comfortable, so why should he complain? Does he go down on you, because that might improve the dryness problem. Also, did the dr. Do a good workup on you? How're your hormone levels?

VirginiaBeachBum · Answer

Yes, it would be annoying, since I am so orally fixated, but comfort must come first. I guess I'd have to use flavored lube. :-)

Nik1hil · Answer

You are not healthy enough to have sex naturally thus your Vagina does not produces enough natural lube.. Making it dry!.. Your man needs to do a lot of foreplay to make you enough wet to fuck you..

JC103 · Answer

Tell him to get you wet, forplay is your friend

DeltaRoss · Answer

you could try stimulating yourself with a toy before jumping right into it, Or spend longer on foreplay. but as for the lube question it really doesn't bother us, sex is sexy.

truthhammer · Answer

whats the big deal wow. use it.  tip, use water based ones

Prince_teddy4u · Answer

Not big deal. Why don't you keep it there before you start? Let him feel everything is already lube down there.

abc--123 · Answer

We use lube every time. We don't need to but she finds sex more comfortable with lube so I happily lube up for her

Anonymous · Answer

So you are still as aroused as ever, just don't produce as much lubrication? That would be fine. If i felt you weren't as into it, it would dampen my enthusiasm somewhat.