Girls, How to finger you?

[Anonymous]

I tried fingering a girl once, and it didn't seem to do anything for her. We were making out (she had initiated this), and after a while I unzipped her pants and started massaging her labia. It was somewhat moist, but not what I would call "wet". I then started fingering what I assume was her clitoris. I didn't get any sign that she was enjoying this. It probably didn't help that at one point I asked "is this ok?" I know that questions like that are a turn off to girls because it shows that I'm uncertain and not entirely confident, but I didn't want to do anything she didn't want me to do. Eventually I gave up, zipped her pants back up, and we decided it was time to stop. What did I do wrong? Did I make a mistake with the fingering? Or was she just turned off by my lack of confidence? Or was it because my hands are very cold? It's probably all of the above, but girls, could you give me some advice?

[IronicallyInnocent]

First of: COMMUNICATION IS KEY. If a girl or guy is ever "turned off" by you asking if they like something, then should not be having sex. I like it when the person i'm fucking asks if what they are doing is okay, if i would like it done differently, etc. Same as i ask when i'm doing things to someone and i've never been rejected for asking. Why? Because everyone is different, you literally have no way of knowing how one person likes it compared to the other. Perfect example: a girl i used to fuck got really sensitive once she came and your hand had to be off her immediately or else she would be in literal sensation pain. HOWEVER, myself, i love to still have my clit played with as i'm coming and after as it feels nice for me. - She didn't just know i liked it, i had to tell her to keep playing with me. Same as she had to tell me to stop playing with her. That does not show low self esteem, if anything, that shows you know how to behave in bed, which is hot. - So now that that's out of the way. She could of easily not been horny enough, when a girl is dry, it doesn't feel nice to get fingered. Then again, maybe she just didn't want to be fingered all together. Cold hands aren't always bad, but it could of been that. Why don't you just ask her?

[Asker]

When I asked if it was ok, she said yes, but she later said that she felt awkward about the whole thing and regretted it. I'm afraid to bring it up. She and I are just friends. In what cases are cold hands not bad? I imagine if I were a girl I would hate the feeling of cold fingers down there. I'm pushing 24 and that was my only sexual experience ever. I wonder if I'll ever get to pleasure a girl

[IronicallyInnocent]

Well the fact that she was awkward about it shows she clearly wasn't that into it to start with, so don't feel bad or anything, she must have been sceptical already so it must have been about something else not about you. + I love cold hands down there for me... And i cannot possibly be the only female like that so, that's when it's good, haha. You will get to pleasure a girl, i can guarantee that. If you want, feel free to message me if you feel down or wanna ask stuff or whatever and we can chat! I'm always open for conversation, especially sex related, haha.

[Asker]

Thanks! :] I wish she would've stopped me if she wasn't into it >_< So many girls are too "nice"

[IronicallyInnocent]

I know right? Its pathetic and then the other person feels guilty.

[Anonymous]

When you're in doubt, you should probably leave it to the expert. She knows her body more than you do, and some girls have a preference for how they like it. Maybe there's a specific technique that she likes, or maybe you were doing it too rough/soft. If anything, you can probably find written tutorials online for how to do it. You can always search "how to pleasure a female" and I'm sure Google will have yo back.