How do I tell my boyfriend I was raped?

[Anonymous]

I had an office party last week and I got really drunk. A male colleague of mine offered to take me to a cab, but I ended up at his place somehow. And I was raped. I confronted him, about this, but he swears that I was the one who came onto him. He even has another colleague of ours who was also in the cab that dropped us of saying that I wanted him to take me home with him, and I was trying to seduce him, which I have a hard time believing. She even has the receipt of the fare where we were dropped off. But I'm really unconvinced. I've been distant with my boyfriend since, how do I tell him I was raped?

[GingerGuy]

I would be very careful throwing around this accusation if you're not 100% sure of it. Just because "it's not like you" doesn't mean it didn't happen. People do all kinds of things when they're drunk and it sounds like you were too drunk to remember it clearly? But if you're sure of this, just tell your boyfriend. Say you have something to tell him but it's hard for you so he needs to be patient with you while you tell him.

[AustinMan]

Wow! This is a real quandary. From all you said, it's not clear that you were raped. It sounds to me like maybe you're using the word rape as a substitute for the word regret. I'd strongly suggest you refrain from using the term rape until you know more about what happened. I'd suggest seeing a good therapist with experience dealing with sexual abuse victims and working through what happened to you.

[Tiffanymax]

So the other coworker (a girl) is backing the guy's story which means they might be telling the truth. I think you regret and now trying to get yourself out of it. I hate women who do this, own up to your mistakes.

[mrfoox]

I think you should tell him what happened. If he's a decent guy he will be understanding and try to help you. Have you reported this? To the police i mean. I'm sorry about what happened to you dear

[Anonymous]

It looks like you cheated on your boyfriend and that guy didn't rape you like you say. Tell your boyfriend the truth and don't try to play that you're a victim in this staution.

[ThatJarHead]

Just be up front about it. Don't hide it. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Go straight up with it. Don't hide this. It'll destroy your relationship.

[madhatters4]

i think you just have to muster the strength to tell him. explain it just as you did here. you got really drunk and had sex with another guy

by law, in most places, an intoxicated woman cannot consent to having sex

[TadCurious]

You must feel like claiming that you were raped will make you feel better about the choices you made. No wonder you're feeling distant with your boyfriend. You cheated on him.

[kittykatbrat]

No offence but how do you know you were raped as you sound as though u were blackout drunk and can't remember anything?
.

[evenlift]

You feel guilty. So, you assume that you were raped, not only in the absence of supporting evidence, but in the face of contradictory evidence! You are a very dangerous individual.

[Sexualchrist]

Sounds more like you just had drunk sex. You weren't raped, come off it.

[badger25]

I would be Leary about totally calling that rape, did he take advantage of a drunk girl, probably.

But you were responsible for the liquor you drank and are responsible for your actions when you drink. and based on your actions
( what the other coworker said) you probably were not drugged.

[VomitV]

So, you cheated on one guy and now you're trying to make another come off as a rapist?

Of course you don't remember, you were wasted. Quit trying to make yourself a victim to hide your indiscretion and own up to it.

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

"(...) I ended up at his place somehow"

I'm not gonna blame it on you, but how can you say that he reaped you and he's lying about coming onto you when
1- you were too drunk to remember how you ended up at the dudes place
2- the 2nd dude said you came into the dude

Just take the l and come to grips that you got plastered and are a horny drunk, make poor decisions and stop trying to ruin other peoples lives because you were stupid and don't wanna take responsibility for your actions

[SleepingSnorlax]

I dont know how it works in this situation i wouldn't worry about your boyfriend yet id see if there was someone you could talk to about it.. because (and im not saying they are telling the truth) if you cry rape and you wernt raped it won't end well for you
Its a delecate situation i would look into it a bit personally

[Yumix]

you don't if you are not sure if you were raped for real or if you just got drunk and did something stupid. From what you said it sounds more like the latter one.

Make sure to find out what really happened or tell him that you don't know what happened and that it's possible that you made a mistake. But don't go accuse someone of rape if you don't know what happened, that can ruin someone's whole life.

[Maxemeister]

What if you did ask?

If you cannot remember then you honestly can't say this man raped you. Don't go out drunk.

[hotstuffSRD]

That doesn't sound like a rape 😶

[LordBlakeh]

I really don't think this was rape.

[Dantheman101]

You not even sure you was

[Maroun]

Lol.

Are you pregnant? If you are don't try to make your boyfriend believe it's yours. It's enough that you cheated on him. He might forgive you for that if you tell him the truth.

[Anonymous]

How about you call the cops

[Anonymous]

Don't drink that much without someone trustworthy without you. Was there force? go to the doctors to see if you are torn down there and or any stds first.

[Anonymous]

How can you claim rape when you were really drunk and can't even remember what happened?