Rimjob on the first date. Too much?

I had a date with a guy I barely knew but I liked how he looked and he seemed fun. The date itself was rather short and clearly there was no romance from his part. He was a little arrogant and controlling but in a likable way. He send signals that he wanted sex and complimented my body a lot. I was pretty horny so invited him in for a "night cap" which usually leads to some wild monkey sex on a first date, but this time it went way beyond that. He was extremely dominant. Luckily I'm into that but he got me to go further than I ever went with any guy. He was also talking really dirty and used a lot of pornographic terms I never even heard of. While I was blowing him he asked for some ball action, then he asked me to go lower. I said I've never done that and he tried to talk me into it by saying: "you should learn it, almost every girl has done it to me". So he put his legs in the air and I gave my first rimjob to a guy I barely knew. Too be honest it wasn't bad at all, it was hot at the moment. But afterwards I felt really confused. I've given blowjobs and had wild sex on a first date or hookup before (most girls have btw), and guys I did it with a couple times I have deepthroated, swallowed, hairpuling etc. But this guy surpassed every expectation. He was so dominant and got me so submissive without me realizing how he used me on a first date. I had my tongue where I never thought it would go and he even had his foot on my head while we were fucking doggy at one point. He left and acted like it was all normal that I just gave myself to him like that. I was satisfied at the moment but now I feel like a used whore. Am I thinking too much about it and should I just move on? I didn't say no to any of it but he didn't really ask either. Does this happen to a lot of girls (can't imagine any of my friends having rimmed even their own boyfriend)? And do you think he will tell other people? Like brag about the details to his friends?
1 2

Most Helpful Girls

  • I have a lot say but that's nothing I always have a lot to say. I'm very opinionated. You seem like a nice person, very open and I admire that. But in this case I don't admire you because you allowed yourself to be used. You went over the top and this guy pushed you up there. Now he won't brag he thinks he deserves it. He conquered you just like he thinks he can conquer anyone. But the bad news is that you allowed him to do so. I have had sex many times on the first day so I am not putting you down for that. But for him to order you around and you comply is not a good thing. You must dump him completely immediately no ifs, ands or buts. It will save your sanity. If you went that far on a first date on the second day he will ask you to throw gasoline on your breasts and set them on fire. In my first day you must have boundaries and if those boundaries include the course then fine but there still has to be a limit on what you will do. I am not a prude I've been around the block 1 million times and swallowed enough semen to fill the Atlantic Ocean. But I will not used. And perhaps I could be taken to the Empire State building but on my own terms. Nobody orders me around and I don't think anyone should order you around and you comply so readily.
    After you drop this guy and refuse to go out with them anymore you need to sit down and write down your limits on a first date and then stick to the I'm not telling you what your limits should be but you need limits. I will gladly help you if you need to privately. My best, Diane

    • Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I'm mainly confused because I don't know exactly what was too much and what I was happy about. I'll think about it a bit. Maybe later I'll contact you.

    • Okay that's cool and that is fine I'm here.

  • I would distinguish the rimjob itself from the whole dominating behavior of the guy; everyone has his or her preferences, so he's perfectly allowed to ask you to rim him, just as you are perfectly allowed to refuse. It's a healthy relationship.

    The only problem would be if he forced you to do something you didn't want to do; again, this is different from an accepted dom/sub relationship, where the limits between 'mock forcing' and real forcing are clearly established between the two participants.

    In the end, if you had fun, leave it at that. Rimming isn't that common a practice, but the number of guys who enjoy this is actually higher than any of them might be willing to admit :p

    But the guy you're describing doesn't sound like a good sexual partner. Regardless of what he's asking you to do, he should always leave you the possibility to refuse. Not everyone is comfortable with everything, and the "all my other girlfriends did it" excuse either means he's hadn't had that many, or that he's forced some to do it, or that he's lying. I would move on, but stay on the lookout for guys of his kind.

  • Dont think too much about it. If you enjoyed it in the moment then it's all good. If you don't want to repeat the experience again, than don't. But it's already happened and there's no use beating yourself up over it. It sounds like this dude really did just want sex, and also sounds like he's no stranger to fucking that way, so he might, guys talk. If you decide you don't like this feeling, then at least now you know how far you're willing to go and what type of sex you don't like having.

Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. Just because rimjobs aren't common doesn't mean they are any better than a blowjob or sex
    2. Sex on the 1st date is alright by me and nothing whorish about it
    3. If the guy is a brag (that most confident seeming but actually low complex guys are) then he's going to brag, you or anyone can do nothing about it
    4. I'd lay importance on the fact that you had a good time and leave it at that :)
    5. When I first rimmed a girl I never thought I could do it but it just happened and I liked doing it but however, I can't do it to every girl

    • Thank you GAG for the MHO :) <3 whichever one of you is doing this, I'm obliged and your kind gestures are much and wholly appreciated :)

  • You aren't a whore. You enjoyed it. Be kind to yourself. You're clearly quite submissive sexually. He picked up on that and took you to new highs. You were a willing participant and all that makes you is a sexy, erotic woman.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

3 12
  • I like to be used/dominated during sex. So I find all of this kinda hot. I wouldn't be too worried about it. But if you find yourself in that position in the future, don't feel bad about speaking up

  • I'm sure he has already told everyone who would listen. If you feel used, maybe you might want to be a bit more selective of your partners.

  • Is it that easy to get sex soberly? Ask a girl on a date, complement her body and wahbang?

    That's where I've been going wrong

  • First implies there will be a second.

  • I have only one question.

    What exactly is making you feel "like a used whore"?

  • If a girl gave me a rim job id tell my closest friend at least that's pure gold lol

    • Are you available Friday? jk

  • he just wanted you for sex. I'd be surprised if you'd ever see or hear from him again.

  • thinking to deep. and i have ans got a rimjob on a first date once. she was a submissive i am a dom.

  • if you liked it then why do you care about that so much? its not a big deal. your just overthinking it.

  • I would not worry too much, I've had quite a few women give me a rimjob on a first date. As for the dominant behaviour, that sounds more extreme... would suggest staying away from him.

  • Wow. You got used.

  • Yeah, he'll tell people. And yeah, you sound like a whore

  • Lol wow? Well you did what you wanted and that does not make you a whore it just makes you stupid if you are looking for a long tern relationship.

  • He might brag. It depends on if you're anything to brag about honestly.