My sister had an emotional breakdown last night; told me she had been taken advantage of. What do I do?

My little sister is 19 and her university is about 40 minutes away from mine. Last night she showed up unannounced hysterically crying at about 11pm. I took her into my room, because I live with five guys, and she kept saying “I have no one anymore.” She told me her boyfriend, of about 3 years, and her broke up because “she’s too fucked up for him.” She kept saying that over and over and I kept asking for specifics. Eventually, she told me that she was raped at the beginning of college but didn't give a lot of detail. She didn’t tell her boyfriend because it would upset him. She said he then broke up with her cause she’s sad all the time and he doesn’t think he makes her happy anymore. I hugged her , said that she could always depend on me, but I don’t know what to do next. Both of us have a really bad relationship with our parents and bringing them in might make things worse. I hadn’t talked to my sister in months but we’ve always had a decent relationship but we were never that close. I could invite my girlfriend over but that might make her uncomfortable too. She's still sleeping; I’m extremely worried about her returning to the dorms, what should I do?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm so sorry that happened to her. I think what's absolutely the most important right now is that you make sure and constantly remind her that's not "fucked up". She's going to have a lot of confidence issues because of her dumb ex but what happened to her doesn't make her any less of a person or any less deserving of love and affection. It might be difficult for you to manage this, but let her know that she can take as much time as she needs to stay with you and that you'll always be there for her. (I know you said that already, but she needs to hear it over and over again because she thinks she's alone). Let her know that she has a right to feel sad about what happened to her and she has the right to take as much time as she needs to heal from it. She's so much better off without that guy. She doesn't have to be happy all the time, let her know that you're always as an older brother going to be there for her and support her and stand by her and fuck up anyone who hurts her. She needs a lot of reassurance right now. If your sister has met your girlfriend, you can ask her whether or not it's okay for you to bring over your girlfriend. I wish I knew your sister better because I'm not sure if it would be better for her to be able to talk about it or for you to just be there for her and not talk about it as much.. :(

Most Helpful Guys

  • You should first refer her to a councilor for help. Also, you should tell her to either talk to her boyfriend and explain to him what happened or you should explain to him that it isn't his fault that she has not been happy. Additionally, it is important for you to remind her that you love her, that being raped wasn't her fault and that it doesn't change who she is. Being raped is one of the most scarring things that can happen. You should keep supporting her and also help her find trauma counciling to help her work past this really sad event in her life.

  • The first thing you do is to get her some post trauma counseling from someone with experience dealing with victims of sexual abuse. She's traumatized and that's why she's both sad all the time and prone to outbursts.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i'd recommend that your sister talk to a counselor on campus. that's what they are there for and she needs support of a professional who can help her process the emotional distress that comes from being raped. unfortunately sexual assault and rape can significantly impact not only a person but their romantic relationships going forward.

    you could even call the counselor at her school and ask them what their suggestions might be for how to proceed in advising your sister

  • You have to let her know, if someone brakes up, it is not the end of life, it is just the end of a chapter, try and open a new chapter.