Does my boyfriend find the porn stars in porn attractive?

I will make this as short as I can, with as much details as possible. I'm 18 years old, my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years. My boyfriend knows how I feel about porn, and myself. I have very low self esteem and self worth, and am very sensitive. This whole situation makes me depressed honestly, I want to cry my eyes out. My boyfriend offered to stop watching porn and did so for awhile but ended up watching it one day. I told him that he didn't have to stop, and that it was something I will have to get over, I didn't want him to feel guilty or bad for watching porn as that is his own time, he can do what he wants. However, this makes me feel even worse about myself. He watches porn with mostly blonde skinny women, and bigger chests. The problem is I have brown hair, and I am only a b cup so ya I'm pretty much flat. I am petite, however I do have a gut and it's not flat. I also have stretch marks, cellulite, and fat thighs. This bothers me. When we first started dating I also saw that he had porn recorded on his T. V while I was browsing for something to watch, and it was about girls with big "knockers" rubbing oil on themselves. He also had many searches of Marsha May, but insisted that it was to find a certain funny video of her selling hot dogs. I am upset. I am not naive, and deep down I know that he's attracted to these girls despite his claims in saying that he doesn't find any girl attractive, especially not porn stars and he simply watches porn for the actions, not the women. He swears on everything, and I have told him I wouldn't be mad if he did and I just wanted the truth, but he denies it all and says I'm the only girl he wants. I would really like the perspective of both male and females. My question is it possible for a man to only find one girl attractive? because I personally don't find other guys attractive, I have secluded it from my mind. Am I not good enough for him? does he find these girls attractive? Help please.
Updates:
+1 y
The reason why this bothers me so much is because I feel so worthless. I don;t like the idea of my boyfriend getting turned on by others girls, it hurts. I don't find other guys attractive, I don't think about them sexually, and I don't watch porn. I would never want to be with anyone else, I have no desire for that. ALSO do men imagine they are the guy in porn? please give me as much details as possible. I need closure.
+1 y
I feel compared fml.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Men and women are DIFFERENT. Yes, he obviously finds the porn stars attractive (there are plenty of hot guys that you find attractive too), but they are just a fantasy. He probably has fantasies of flying jet fighters or driving a Ferrari or whatever, and they're fun to think about, but I'm sure he probably doesn't seriously think those are likely to happen anytime soon.

    You should read this MyTake:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5423-why-men-watch-porn

    Again, men and women are DIFFERENT. We think differently, we have different priorities, and our minds work differently - so you shouldn't be surprised when that happens. BUT... as the MyTake explains, that doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you, doesn't like your body, or doesn't want to be with you. If those things were true, he probably wouldn't have gotten together with you in the first place, and probably wouldn't still be with you. The fact that he IS with you MEANS SOMETHING - because actions speak louder than words.

    Men have some needs that are different than those typical of women - but that doesn't make him a cheater or make him not want you - as the MyTake explains. Please read it with an open mind and do your best to see things from his perspective.

    • I really appreciate this and am going to read the link you sent. I would rather him find a girl pretty than sexy or hot or even get turned on by. I honestly don't find other guys hot, and Im not just saying that because that's truly how it is for me. I just think life sucks and it's depressing feeling this way. I really appreciate the honesty, wish I could hear this from my boyfriend but he wouldn't dare because I'm too sensitive. Better the truth than a sugar coated white lie though. At least then I can put a bag over my head knowing I have a reason too,. Maybe even get surgery as fake as it is, that way I have no reason to feel insecure, and there won't be a reason for him to watch porn because I'll have it all.

    • I appreciate your take on this, It's not a big deal, more of a bad habit at this point anyways.

    • @MattDamonAndFriends what do you mean by that jw

    • Show All
  • The porn you watch has nothing to do with your girlfriend, you're just busting nuts, I wish women could understand that.

    • Is it really that hard to put yourself in our shoes though? It's not like I don't let him watch it, or bring this up all the time. When you have no self esteem, and your boyfriend is looking at other girls naked that doesn't help or make you feel any better. I really would just like to have a civil conversation about this, and get you to understand why a lot of women feel this way. It hurts us when the person we love is literally looking at another girl, naked, in a sexual way. This makes us vulnerable, and feel compared. I have sent pictures, I am not boring in bed, I don't with hold from sex. So what is the need to look at other girls? variety? am I not good enough. exactly. I know not all women think this way, and some are secure with themselves, well lucky them.

    • I can understand it from your position but it's because I'm a dude and I also understand it from my position that I know you've got nothing to worry about.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Look at this way, how would HE feel if you were looking at other men and then getting off on it? Men typically don't experience what women do when it comes to porn because generally, it's not typical female behavior. I realize how this would hurt a girl or women of any age, and I feel as if you're young and he should be more SENSITIVE in that this is emotionally painful for you; it's making you feel lowered self-esteem. It's making you feel that you have to measure up to some plastic surgery f**k doll doing outrageous things normal women mostly refuse to do - this is unfair.

    I would ask you to consider briefly giving him a taste of his own medicine. Find some hot guy, porn, pictures that are naked, whatever, pull it out and start masturbating - see how it makes him feel. No doubt he'd feel hurt as well.

    I'm not saying what he's doing is criminal, or reason to dump him, I'm just feeling upset for you because you're emotionally bruised over this. I think you should take a stand - since it makes u depressed, tell him to stop, since it seems you can't adjust - and you don't have to. All you guys have to do is make each other happy and compromise.

    • I appreciate your take on this as well and for the most part agree with all of it expect her watching porn wouldn't bother me i guess we are different that way, I don't think there would be anything wrong with her being curious it wouldn't hurt my feelings but like i said above, its become more of a bad habit at this point and will take all of what you said into consideration thank you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 5
  • You have this more wrong than I can even explain. A lot of the time, dudes watch porn because of what the girls can do. By which I mean that they let the guys do anything to them. Porn girls aren’t like they used to be in the 90s. This is good news for average girls. There’s absolutely no reason you can't do more than the girls in those videos. I don’t watch much porn anymore because my wife does literally anything I can think of or want to do. I used to watch porn dreaming of doing that to my girlfriend at the time. My wife is beautiful, but she’s not a super model. But I am completely satisfied and would never stray or even wonder about another girl because theees no upgrade from a woman that will do or let you do anything you want to her. That is the porn fascination. I think it’s picked up steam since the whole feminism thing kicked into high gear. Younger women are in the mode where they don’t let guys even look/talk to them let alone do all the things we like to do.

  • If he didn't he wouldn't be watching it. Also it has nothing to do with you so don't feel insecure when he watches it.

    • I know :( I would just rather the truth than a lie to make me feel better, because until I know the deep down truth I will always be looking for answers. I'm crazy.

    • Lol well the truth is guys get horny and we like to watch porn to cum to it, it doesn't mean we don't love our gf/wife, just that we have a high sex drive and need to keep it level. Girls overthink it wayyyy too much, if you were to watch porn I doubt he'd think "oh no, is it me".

  • wow you're not overreacting at all xD yeah we can find pornstars attractive but we know we'll NEVER get to meet them let alone seduce or fuck them. Calm down he's 18 and having fun on his own. Most of the world does that, you should try watching porn too

  • If he's not satisfiying you I can

  • I love porn, but I try to stay away from it, bit it is very hard. I keep on thinking about milfs, cougars, etc. I love when you have scenes where moms teach sex to a younger couple.