How should I act in our first sex?

[Anonymous]

my friend lives in another state. We know each other from school. we got close&I know he has feelings for me. we have distance so we are not willing to try a relationship. We met up and had holidays and spent good time. He was complimenting me, kind, caring. we did not have sex, because I was scared of what he might think if i have sex with him so quickly. I did not want to ruin our friendship. We just share a small kiss and that's it. Later we met again twice, had nice holidays. again we stayed in different rooms of my house and his house even though we were close. I couldnt initiate simply because of the fear of he might reject. Later when we were texting, he said he wanted to have sex, I seemed like I dont want it and he didn't wanna ruin our time. I said i felt the same. Now we will meet again and have a week of holiday together. So we will definitely have sex that's not a question. my question is whether we should have sex with or without condom and if i should give him a blowjob. during our conversation we also kinda joked about condom. i said bring a couple packs, he asked me if it is really necessary and if i can't go on pills. i said i am on pills but i would not have condom-less sex with him before i know his history and i trust him. i told him i dont know if he has any diseases and i dont wanna get any std. He said i am well aware that he does not have anything as he does not sleep around and he did not have a girlfriend since quite some time. but he said he is okay with that and respect if i want to have condom. the truth is i dont want to have condom and i want to give him bj as well if he wants. but i am not sure how guys take slutty behavior in the first sex. I do not want to do something that he may think I am kind of unworthy woman, or i dont want to spoil things. I will move close to him within 6-9 months and may start a relationship if we both are still single. Please help me if i should be moderate or slutty in our first sex, during this holiday.

[ak666]

Just unleash yourself and do whatever you want. Don't worry about what he thinks -- I'm pretty sure no guy's going to get a blowjob and think, "Wait, she's giving me a blowjob? What a slut!" Instead he'll be in ecstasy-land.

It's not a performance. Just enjoy yourselves.

[Asker]

Good insight. I tend to think the less you give in the beginning the more valuable you are to the man. At least that is how people tell me like dont have sex for quite some time or dont do anything in the firstcouple dates etc. i know this situation is different but like we create time and spend money to see each other i think it is already time for one step further, so he wouldn't think bad as you say hopefully.

[ak666]

I think once you are at the stage of intercourse, it's no longer time to be thinking about holding out. At that point, the more the two of you bond and have a great sexual experience in the bedroom, the more that guy will want to stay around. It's beyond the "tease" stage at that point, and there are some cases where men will actually fall in love with a woman when having sex with her.

[Rick_Woodlands]

I don't know what slutty means. Whips and chains you can probably leave till you know each other's likes and dislikes, but blowjobs aren't especially exotic sex acts, and he'll love it (trust me).

Do make sure he wears that condom.

[Asker]

Is it okay to give bj with condom on? I was always in long relationships. 2 and 4 years so i never had casual sex like this and never gave bj with condom on. I feel like it is useless as you cannot reach the tip. That was my other concern whether to give or not.

[Rick_Woodlands]

Of course. It'll help him last longer.

[WalterRadio]

You are thinking too much of this.

The happiest married couples are best friends.

You should do whatever makes you feel good. Guys are easy to please, don't worry about what he thinks.

[Asker]

You may be right but i dont want to be just another woman he fucked. I try to relax and not think. Thank you.