Girl would let me finger her and touch her all over but no sex... very confusing, first time that has ever happened to me. Any clues?

[BravoB87]

So after our date (the day after we met at a party and made out) walking around in the city, holding hands, we went back to my place and were having fun talking with the occasional pause for making out. Needless to say, things started to escalate and fast forward a couple of minutes, I had her almost completely naked on my bed.

She refused to completely take out her pants, so she had them on her ankles. No biggie, I thought. After making out and fingering her for a couple of minutes, she said to me between her moans: "Touch whatever you want but we are not having sex". I didn't even pay attention to this because the moaning was very distracting and turning me on. After she came, I was so turned on I wanted to fuck her, but she said: "I told you it's not gonna happen". I tried regardless but she got serious, so of course I stopped. I layed down beside her on the bed completely confused and to be honest, a little frustrated. She sat beside me touching my abs underneath my shirt while I was laying there with my eyes closed. After a couple of minutes she layed her head on my chest without saying a word and closed her eyes.

This is a first for me and I find this behaviour very confusing, the boundaries don't make sense to me. I don't need you to tell me what to do to have sex with her, that's not the point. I just wanna understand what was going on in her mind. Perhaps some of you girls can enlighten me or some guy out there already figured this one out. Thanks for taking the time to educate me ;).

[rosey_bananas]

Maybe she was trying to play "hard to get"? But she was playing it completely wrong... lol some girls don't get that if you are going to NOT have sex with a guy, you can't be alone with him doing everything else and then last minute say "no sex" and expect him not to get frustrated. That's like teasing him! If she wanted to play hard to get or make you chase her, the way to do it is be more gradual and not even let you touch her like after meeting her... otherwise it's all mixed signals. I understand your confusion. That confuses me too.

[BravoB87]

Thank you! see? I am not crazy...

[rosey_bananas]

Nope you're not! Some people just don't get it lol

[Tayra1712]

yeah thats true maybe she is all girls have done that

[WillowTree]

She wasn't ready for sex. She didn't want to have sex with you. What's so hard to understand?

She's not comfortable with you yet and not accepting no the first two times, isn't going to make her submit to you any faster. Not everything has to be about sex, the intimacy is enough for us. You're lucky she even let you go that far.

[BravoB87]

I am lucky? I didn't pressure her into anything, from the beginning I said to her: "We are not doing anything you are not comfortable with." This idea that I'm lucky because she "let" me do those other things is frankly not cool. We were both there, I didn't force her with anything and I didn't take advantage of anything.

[WillowTree]

"""Touch whatever you want but we are not having sex". I didn't even pay attention to this because the moaning was very distracting and turning me on. After she came, I was so turned on I wanted to fuck her, but she said: "I told you it's not gonna happen". *****I tried regardless but she got serious, so of course I stopped.****"" Yes, you tried to regardless. Beyond that point. Just because we're intimate it doesn't mean we want sex. We're not always in the mood for it. Heavy petting is fun but it doesn't mean we feel like going all the way with you guys. So, YES, YOU ARE LUCKY she let you finger her and feel her up even though she clearly stated (and showed by keeping some clothes on) that she wasn't going to go as far as you wanted to go.

[Anonymous]

Sex is a lot more serious that being fingered. Your notions are that she either has to go "all the way" or nothing at all. That doesn't work for a lot of people. The fact that you're tuning her out when she's clearly telling you what she wants makes you sound like a douche.

[BravoB87]

I didn't tune her out, I was just confused. FYI: We are still texting like good friends...

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, I misunderstood by the way you phrased it. Many people like to build up to full on sex.

[SoWhAt249]

Maybe she was not in the mood for sex? Maybe she doesn't want sex immediatelly after meeting you... But then again, I too can't understand why some girls do this... I knew a girl that would let me touch her anywhere I wanted, anytime I wanted, I flashed her frequently, but we never had sex... We are still friends but I don't touch her anymore and don't expect anything to happen in the future...
I'm surprised there aren't more replies to this question...

[BravoB87]

Not in the mood for sex? I don't think that was it man... she was moaning, dripping wet and trembling. I really doubt she is that good of an actress...

[Karōshi]

Fuck that LMR!

[BravoB87]

Best explanation I've read so far... makes sense, and in three words

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe she was wanting to maintain some artificial idea in her head that she doesn't have sex on a first date and it doesn't count if it isn't PIV sex..

[BravoB87]

sorry, PIV sex? don't know what that means (English is not my first language)

[BravoB87]

ok, googled it, thank you. Man, you learn something new everyday...

[Krillanr]

What is the confusing part here?

She didn't mind your hands, but she didn't want sex.
Doesn't seem like that complex of a concept to me.

[Flurr]

Never heard of something like that to be honest. I think I'd rather of left it at holding hands than to have that happen. Only thing I could suggest is not to bring her to your room until you know she is going to have sex with you?

[Anonymous]

they want you to wait a bit longer so that you dont lose intrest in her or something like that

[Anonymous]

Probably you want her best friend