Sexual Relationships
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I love my boyfriend but he scares me sometimes. What should I do?

I love him a lot, I say it and I feel that way too. He gives the best hugs and he's always wanting to know what I'm doing which makes me feel like he cares for me. He waits for me for a long time and he forgives a lot of mistakes I've made in the relationship. He hangs out with me during his spare time between work, school, and gym.

However he has a lot of female friends that he talks to and plays games with but, he won't let me even talk to guys much less make friends with them. Whenever I'm too busy or I can't reach him, he suspects me of cheating and 'fucking/dicking around' <- having fun with guys. He gets really mean whenever I even talk to guys. I'm not even allowed to suspect that he's cheating when he talks to a lot of girls and he has dated quite a lot of girls in the past. I suspected him yesterday and shit went down.

Today he scared me so bad that I cried. I visited him early before I start work, and he likes playing around with his bb guns and bb riffles but I'm really scare of it because of the loud noise it makes. He lied to me and said that the gun doesn't have any bb ammo in it and it shoots out carbon dioxide gas. He pointed it at me and he said that if I ever do things I'm not supposed to be doing, he will not hesitate to shoot me and I asked him like what and he doesn't want to say it. He said if I ever talk to guys, he will take the gun and put it inside my vagina and thrust it to make me fear him. he said if I play around with his heart, he will take the gun and shoot my face too, so no guy will love me. He'll make everyone turn against me. He was like "Do you understand?"

Then I said 'I don't know.." and I cried, I was kind of scared but upset at the same time. I don't know if he will actually do that, but after I started crying he pulled me close to his chest and kind of told me to hug him really tightly. He said he was joking about shooting me.

Why does he need to scare me? Doesn't he trust me?
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • You need to get off of GaG right now and end this relationship, period. There is no reason whatsoever for that behavior. Just be happy that you got a chance to see who he really is.

    1. If he has to suspect you of cheating --> That means he doesn't trust you.
    2. If he has a lot of females but you can't have male friends --> That is jealousy and him trying to control you by his insecurities. Very immature.
    3. If he is suspecting you of having sex with guys --> There is a very strong possibly he is having sex with other girls! Those girls. Especially when you don't even have male friends.
    4. If your not allowed to suspect that he's cheating --> Like I said, CONTROL
    5. He has BB guns that is just as dangerous as other real guns, lies to you, points is DIRECTLY at you and threatens to shoot you? For whatever reason? --> That is a major threat, a warrant to get him arrested with court ordered protection, and you to not visit him again!
    6. To make it even proof worthy of him being INSANE AND PSYCHOPATHIC to the head! He even stated that he would take the gun and place it in your vagina! Then shoot your head? --> Forget if anybody would want you then, you'll be in a coffin!
    7. Then he pulls you over to his cheat, and tell you all those sweet nothing with a false apology? --> Abuse! Manipulation!

    Do you even have all of this recorded? You should have recorded this! If you have a smart phone, get the Aspire News app, and record every single bit of that god forbid the next time your with that creep. Heck, get out of that relationship, now! That man is the true definition of a psychopath with mental issues! He needs a psyche evaluation, have all his guns confiscated and get locked up for that. Get out! This is not the first time he's done that to another woman. Don't even fall for that game, do not even have sex with him. You may say you love him, but he definitely do NOT love you! Nobody who loves would do what he did. Move on!

  • I'm not gonna waste my time feeling sorry for you. If a dozen random strangers on the internet, heard your story, and are concerned for your safety, then maybe you should consider their advice. I know people in abusive relationships. I've had aunts, cousins, and friends in abusive relationships. The only thing that's gonna help you now is your mind. In your heart you think you love him and he loves you. In your heart you think that he'll change for you. In your head though you know that this isn't healthy, and this isn't love, and you shouldn't be in this relationship. If you're too stupid to see that then no one can help you. So if you're not gonn listen to the people on the internet, or in your life that want to help you, then listen to your brain. Listen to logic and reason, because he's playing with your emotions and he's clearly got them under total control. Forget about "love" and forget about hurt feelings.

  • Um he sounds like a fucking psycho and he is very obviously insecure. I don't care how great his hugs are, this controlling behavior can and will only get worse with time. Nobody that loves someone else would threaten them like that, or have such insane double standards in the relationship. Period. He's either a sociopath or he has major issues with his mental health that need addressed before he maintains any type of romantic relationship. Leave while you can, because the longer you stick around, the more controlling and abrasive he will get and the harder it will be to leave.

    • i can see why you might think that. I admit to him being insecure and that what he did today was not acceptable. i think that he's trying to control me and keep me inside the relationship when i was his girlfriend all along

    • That should scare you. Attempting to control one's partner in a relationship is never a good sign and never leads to anything good. And if he's that way already, he's not just going to stop being that way. If anything it can only worsen. Good luck to you...

Most Helpful Guys

  • "always wants to know what Im doing" - Controlling behavior
    He is insecure... possibly hurt by other females and my guess is he aims to hurt them back. could be he saw bad behaviors with his parents.

    He just threatened you because of his fear, not because of your behavior. He has security issues stemming from earlier life and believe me, I know a woman who married a guy like this (albeit that guy was a drinker) and you don't want to go any further in this relationship. That was over the top unacceptable.

    He will try to control you with manipulation and fear, because he has to.
    The fact you love him says you have some issues as well.
    Step 1: Go to a counselor because you need help on this getting out of it
    Step 1a: Sit down with him and tell him relationship is over, and he gets counseling for what he said. You care about him, but you won't live in fear or the shadow of his fear.

    Get support around you before you do it, I don't know what he is capable of. He will react poorly.

    The lady I know married a guy like that and he haunted her for 20 years... litteraly hunted her, she surivied but lived in fear for years.

    Love... is not living in fear or controlling someone else, it is accepting them as they are and caring the best for them. Maybe you do love him because he is sick and reminds you of your father or something. But you need out of this and you need help.

    • thanks for the guide but it\s seriously hard to leave him, because I love him. I don't know if I have issues but he's the only person I can connect with and he's the only one I really like

    • Then go into counseling, find a marriage and family counselor to talk to about this. There is something seriously wrong. There is something called "sick love" and this sounds like it based upon the little bit I've read. He also needs counseling badly, but you need it. Do you really want a life of fear? Going to raise babies in that environment, where they are threatned and controlled? He needs to deal with his fears before it does damage.

  • Holy crap that's psycho.
    It seems he feels it's ok to let his inner psychopath out around you. Does he tend to make macabre jokes or something? He seems very insecure about himself compared to other guys as well. If you're not afraid of the consequences go talk to a random guy and see what you're boyfriend does, but if you're legitimately scared he'll hurt or maim you dump him or tell him once and for all not to toy with your emotions.
    Damn, I can be a psycho too if I want to but not quite to the point of making people cry. If he wanted to make you trust him more that's not the way to do it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

11 8

  • He's very insecure. Move on before you get hurt.

  • If this story is true, you need to get out now. Anyone who really cares about you would never, EVER do something like that. Joke or not, it doesn't matter, just leave him.

  • He's an insecure psycho. You need to get away from him. He's threatening to hurt you for talking to other people? That's not love and tender care, that's controlling. He's mindfucking you into staying with him. Nobody "plays" love games like that. He's crazy and it's just going to get worse and harder to leave if you let it continue. Get out now while you can.

  • He's a freak and you should run. Run far away from this controlling bastard.

    I'm sure you won't take my advice but one day you'll be wishing you did. I'm not joking about this at all. He's a controlling narcissist who's using you as fuel for his own desires.

  • You need to get away from him NOW! I know you think he loves you, but he's manipulative, abusive, controlling, and he sounds mentally unhinged.

    "I'm going to shoot you in the face so no one will ever love you?" Does that sound like love? No. He doesn't love you, and if you don't get out of there soon, you never will

  • You need to cut off contact right now. This guy is dangerous. However you think you feel about him, you need to end it, period. Trust us on this. He'll really hurt you one day. All the hugs in the world don't make up for certain things, and his behavior is a zero-tolerance dealbreaker.
    And don't forget - there are lots of guys out there, who give even better hugs, who would never even DREAM of hurting you. Go find one of those.

    • Let me guess you're one of these guys?

    • @HulkkSmash Let me guess - you aren't.

  • You need to leave him as soon as possible. No sane person says that to someone they love.
    Him talking to other girls but then telling you not to talk to other guys... I would have left his ass just for that.

  • I think he really loves you but is probably insecure and scared of you leaving. Just talk to him about it. Does he let you talk to family/friends and guys who aren't into girls?

  • Eh... I dunno

  • If a man is scaring you. You are not in love. Love is feeling safe.

  • He's insecure afraid losing you he's seem to have a temper he's too protective of you and he works out all these are bad combination if it's directed towards you. You are your own person he should tell you who you can and cannot talk you need to tell him that. It's possible an unhealthy relationship but your the one who should know. He's using fear as a tactics for you to solely rely on him which is stupid because he can't be everywhere with you at once. Oh don't take any type of threat likely assume all tgreats

    • Assume all threats are true

  • Dude, he's gonna thrust a gun in your vagina? What the fuck. Why are you with him? He's psycho and hypocritical- LEAVE HIM.

  • Thats fucked up

  • That right there my friends, is a serial killer on the loose. gegeegoor

  • You need to end this relationship and cut off contract right now. Cut the knots. He is so dangerous and obnormal and his joke is terrible. If not, I'm afraid you'll be hurt in the future. I'm a Chinese, guns are forbidded in my country!! You are so sad and scared, even can not sleep well, pathetic baby.

  • You need to get out of the country right now.

    • He's a fucking sociopath.

  • You need to get out of that relationship. If at any point he threatens you (like he did in the situation you talked about above) and you feel unsafe you should leave. I know that is a lot easier said than done but that is not a relationship you want to be in. The fact that he thinks he can joke about shooting you is horrible and I really hope you talk to someone about this like a friend or a family member. I hope you can stay safe until you decide what to do!

  • Sounds like he likes power trips. You really don't need to be around someone like that, there are much nicer guys around, there is something wrong with him

  • just laugh at him

    • no, that was no joke, it was a threat, don't do that. he's affraid, don't laugh at fear emotion.

    • @lightbulb27 just laugh at him and kiss another man right in front of him. . just stand there and see if he's bout dat life or not. I wish a motha fu ken BYTCH WWOOOUUUULLLDDD.

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