Sexual Relationships
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How can I get money if I signed a prenup and my husband wants to file a divorce under the pretense of 'no sex'?

My husband of two years has filed for divorce on the grounds of no sexual intercourse. Let me explain the situation, me and my husband, who I am very much still in love with signed a prenup because we were so sure that we would never get separated. However, recently he's changed and is more physically aggressive with me, making advances and dirty talking, as we don't have sex frequently.
We had sex some seven months ago, but I don't like the idea of having sex, it doesn't 'turn' me on. Ever since I made clear that I would only have sex when I'm ready seven months hence, he's become very cold and distant to me. And just about a month ago petitioned for a divorce, I tried to talk him out of it, but he's not backing out of it. Now I hate the idea of being seperated from him, but I want to hurt him. I want take something from him. I want him to realise how hurt I am and I want him to call off the divorce. Is there anyway to gain a portion of his income, and scare him enough to back away? Is there anyway to reach a settlement if the worst comes to pass?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I want to share with you a great debate among managers.

    The CFO says, "What if we train and invest in them, and they leave?"

    The CEO says, "What if we don't train or invest in them, and they stay?"

    Well, "divorce" and "relationships" are sort of similar. Sure, you can try to dabble in some amateur Machiavelli and political economist tactics and power plays. At the end of the day, however, you have to ask yourself, what are you really gaining? What's your benefit?

    Say you can do X to get him to "stay married" to you. Do you think that's a success on your part? Congratulations, now you're able to stay with a man who you have to look at every day and be reminded of the fact that:

    1. He doesn't love you;
    2. You don't satisfy him;
    3. He resents and hates you;
    4. You have to either appear in public with him (or without him), and either way, people will talk (about you and your relationship).

    The Chinese say, "When seeking revenge, dig two graves, one for the other person and one for yourself."

    The British say, "Take care not to be hoisted by your own petard."

    I was faced with a similar situation recently. A client of mine had found out that their Controller was leaving to go work at a competitor, with a better job title, less quantity of work, a better quality of work, and more money. To make matters worse, the CEO and CFO had a personality conflict. So, there was no chance of retaining this CFO.

    The CEO knew the rival CEO from the competitor company, and also had logs of the CFO's internet search history on the company computer, which included searches for pornographic content. So, "the CEO's plan" was to hold a meeting whereby we would essentially strong-arm and pressure the CFO to decline the other job offer and "stay" with his current company.

    Rather than do that, I had a conversation with the CEO, and I told him what I'm basically telling you:

    "Whether he leaves or stays, he's already left." Why would you continue to pay someone and rely of them to fill a key role when you know they've already checked out? Rather than having to "fire" him, him leaving of his own initiative is probably the best thing. Why would you want to interfere with and get in the way of that?

    • Did the CEO listen to you?

    • @KnightinDarkArmor... no

  • so you decide for no apparent reason listed here that you aren't going to have sex with him save for a few times a year when you decide, and you think you need to hurt him because he's unhappy in the relationship and filing for divorce

    no you can't get any money due to the prenuptial agreement. there are reasons a prenup can be tossed out or voided but based on what you've said here there is no reason a judge would throw out the prenuptial agreement

    your best bet is to realize that holding sex as some power play isn't how a healthy marriage works and try and find some way to reconcile

Most Helpful Girls

  • A prenuptial agreement or premarital agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery. Conditions of guardianship may be included as well. In some countries, including Belgium and the Netherlands, the prenuptial agreement not only provides for the event of a divorce, but also to protect some property during the marriage, for instance in case of a bankruptcy. Many countries, including Canada, France, Italy, and Germany, have matrimonial regimes, in addition to, or some cases, in lieu of prenuptial agreements. In India, prenuptial agreements are very rare and do not have any governing laws. In the United States, prenuptial agreements are recognized in all fifty states and the District of Columbia. Likewise, in most jurisdictions, five elements are required for a valid prenuptial agreement:
    1. Agreement must be in writing (oral prenups are generally unenforceable);
    2. Must be executed voluntarily;
    3. Full and / or fair disclosure at the time of execution;
    4. The agreement cannot be unconscionable;
    5. It must be executed by both parties (not their attorneys) "in the manner required for a deed to be recorded", known as an acknowledgment, before a notary public.
    Prenuptial agreements are a matter of civil law, so Catholic canon law does not rule them out in principle. In Judaism, the ketubah, a prenuptial contract, has long been established as an integral part of the Jewish marriage, and is signed and read aloud at the marriage ceremony. In Islam, the prenuptial contract, Katb el-Kitab, has long been established as an integral part of the Islamic marriage, and is signed at the marriage ceremony. Similar to Judaism, it outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride or other parties involved in marriage proceedings.

  • is this real?
    why is it that you don't want to give your husband sex?
    did you guys try counseling?
    what would a divorce bring you? Happiness? If you want the marriage, what are your other options to keep it?
    can you negotiate with your husband? I don't like sex very much either but I have sex with my husband at least 3x a week if not every day of the week. Now what is the problem with sex? You need to talk to him, tell him what you need with sex. Maybe longer foreplay, maybe you need him to kiss you better. I don't know. I am against divorce too. You need to learn to make decisions.
    What is your ideal outcome?
    what are the possible choices that you could take to get that outcome? If you are committed to do whatever you can to make the marriage work, it will work. I believe it.

  • You are one sick bitch honey.
    You want to hurt him so he'll cancel the divorce? That's some f'd up logic.
    Did you ever think you've been hurting him by denying sex? You signed the prenup. It was spelled out what your responsibilities were. You give us normal girls a bad name. I sincerely hope you get nothing.

    • "You give us normal girls a bad name" ^^ AMEN I SINCERELY hope this is... clever trolling, on the part of some bitter boy. I hope. Oh Lawd I hope. I mean, why would he even have married her?

    • @redeyemindtricks I don't even understand the logic if it's a bitter boy trolling.

    • d.gr-assets.com/.../11616099.gif

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think you need to reassess your position. Before you do anything else, I'd suggest you find a good therapist and explore why you find sex so distasteful. He is fully within his rights to be very upset. Once you get a handle on your sexual dysfunction, see a couple's counselor and work it out. This is your problem and you need to solve it. Looking for revenge is no going to help.

  • a guy wrote this lol
    get a life

  • Lady, you need therapy.

    You can't get dick diddily if you signed a prenup. You're boned.

    • And you deserve it.

    • @Dargil Yupparoonie.

  • Sorry, I know this is all about trying to understand the other side, but you are a bad person.

  • Okay... Wait a second. That's not fair hon. If you love him then you need to support his needs and not just expect him to go long amounts of times without sex. Guys NEED sex. It's a literal life necessity... Like you want to hurt him? Hurt him for what? Wanting sex? Why not keep him around by supporting him and giving him what he needs. Compromise. It doesn't have to be often but 7 months? I'm a girl and ID leave after 7 months of no sex!

  • Fuck, I hope you get nothing and end up in the streets having to do blowjobs to live.

  • You actually sound like a wonderful lady... I wish I could have married you. Really.

  • You are in NO position to do that. And if you do somehow find a way to purposely cause him pain... He will 1000% Leave you as he should! Thats freaking terrible!

  • your already hurting him, and taking things away from him. with no sex. so if you can't give him the love he needs than your done for.

  • What do you think he should do for sex? Would you rather him cheat on you? I don't blame him for feeling this way.

  • I think your husband is making the right move here. A man isn't entitled to sex, but why would he ever stay with someone who isn't physically attracted to him? I cringe when guys say their SOs/wives don't 'give' them sex. Its pathetic. Sexual attraction is a two way street. No one is obligated to stay with someone who isn't attracted to them and vice versa. No matter what their idea of 'love' is.
    Also, I know how you feel, like you want to give him a reminder of what he's losing here. But I think he's already lost the person he loved, you're only making things worse for yourself. Just let go and find someone who's compatible with you. And you're not entitled to his money so go find a job or something.

  • If there are no children and you have been married less than 5 years, no money or property, reinforced by the prenup. Sounds like you want the benefits of marriage but consider your duty to intimacy as optional.

  • Why are you hurt?
    I'm failing to see your point here.
    I don't believe you do not like sex at all. You just don't like your husband and you're with him for convenience.
    If you love him why do you want to hurt him?
    You signed the pre nup and your marriage has failed-Because of you, and now you feel you deserve something in return?
    Give him his divorce, go your way and let him find someone who accepts his love.

  • A woman has as much right to a relationship as a man has to sex... or in other words none at all. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship, and if he feels that his needs aren't being met then he is right to move on.

    As for you breaking the pre-nup. talk with your attorney, most aren't worth the paper they are written on.

  • Well apparently you didn't tell him that you didn't like sex,
    You turned out to be incompatible and now he wants out of a relationship that is clearly broken.
    Luckily he signed a pre-nup, cause this way you won't get a dime and he can go on a marry someone who he is actually compatible with and isn't an asshole to him

  • i will be waiting for u
    signed by the angel of death

  • Wow. Its all about you. I suggest therapy. Why even be married, or in a relationship, if you are not going to be intimate, with your husband? But you are happy to benefit from everything else a relationship provides. To me, this is selfish, and immature. And personally, wrong. Women like you, are why i have lost trust in dating.

  • lol @ marrying a guy who you aren't sexually attracted to

  • Either this is a troll or your the dumbest human on earth

  • Lol
    He left you with your worst enemy , yourself
    You will be destroyed , not cuz of tears but self abuse

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