My boyfriend feels inadequate in bed?

[Anonymous]

Last night we had sex, after he came the first time, he felt embarrassed that he didn't last as long as he THINKS he should (he lasted about 20-25 mins, he wants to last hours like he has done in the past). He got upset which made the mood really tense between us even though I enjoyed it very very much.

A few minutes go by, he starts putting his hand down my underwear and fingering me. Usually he doesn't do this, but apparently he felt pathetic in his penis abilities compared to his fingers because he could tell that my reaction with his fingers gave me more pleasure. He didn't tell me he felt this way until we talked about it later.

After he fingered me, he took my underwear off and we had sex again. He came, and then we cuddled. He fingered me again, I sucked him off, and then I went on top of him to ride him. He got a cramp on his leg and got really really upset with himself and felt really embarrassed. He ended it finally and then we just laid for a bit. I could tell he was extremely upset that he thought he ruined it for me.

I drove home and we talked on the phone later that night. I kept telling him how it was probably the best sex we've had in months. Not just the fingering, but the way he was moving, how he was very passionate and the entire night. I really really liked it. The ONLY thing i didn't not like was the way he reacted to the things that happened. He would hit things, be mad about the most remedial things... If only he would have just laughed it off, it would have been a perfect night. He didn't believe me.

I told him its extremely hard for me to orgasm through sex. And that when he's happy and gets his orgasm, I'm more than happy. He wants me to have my orgasm and experience the same release as he always does and he's angry in his abilities because he feels like his penis can't give me the same pleasure as his fingers can. I just got really hurt that he would say that because its so not true!

How do we settle this?

[AustinMan]

Maybe this'll get you off. It has many a lady for me, esp the ones that think they aren't all that orgasmic but find out they are.

Cowgirl tips
Here’s the way I have found, with the help of a very cooperative girlfriend, that a woman can ride her man all the way up the mountain to multiple, increasing powerful orgasms and ultimately, squirting.
• He needs to understand that he can help with this position by grabbing her hips and helping her move. At first, leave to her own devices but as she gets more and more aroused, he should become stronger and more and more forceful in moving her back and forth.
• Put him on his back and mount up with you on your knees.
• Slide him in and settle in so you’re comfortable.
• Rock like you’re riding a horse, slowly at first and faster as you get more aroused.
• When you’re ready for him to help, reach down and put his hands on your hips. For effect, you can beg him in your sexy slut voice to help you.
• When you start to get close to cumming, move like you’re trying your best to break that thing off. Of course, you won’t but the point is to not hold back. Just go crazy.
• When you’re right on the edge, tell him to do you. He thrusts up as powerfully as he can and holds it with you impaled as deeply on his cock as possible, perched on his erection. He also forcefully tilts his hips and slams his shaft into your G-spot.
• As you cum, don’t even slow down. Keep going and you will cum over and over, each time increasingly intense.
• If you have The Big One, as I call it, you may very likely squirt so if there’s a gush, it’s not urine. It’s female ejaculate. Keep going until you’re completely done.
Here are a few ancillary suggestions:
• Pee first so that if you should squirt, you can be confident it’s not pee.
• If you’re into S&M, have him forcefully pinch your nipples as you’re starting to cum.
• He can slap your tits around if you’re into that. One girlfriend of mine liked to be slapped while she was up there with me telling her what a trashy slut she was for being up there in the first place.
• Some ladies like their men to reach around and smack their ass while they ride.

[Theodorable]

Your boyfriend needs to take a chill pill. I read a study online saying that on average sex last about 6 minutes. She him this article so he can have perspective and then he'll feel good about 20 minutes.

Quote: "Meanwhile, the average across all couples was 5.4 minutes. This means a couple will typically go for an average of 5.4 minutes every time they have sex."

www.medicaldaily.com/how-long-does-sex-last-average-time-penis-shape-381025

[Anonymous]

The biggest I ever saw was on my little brother whos only 14 but big ones run in my family and my Dad and two other brothers are blessed thst way as well. Often I hear my brothers and there girlfriends going at it like wild animals as well as my parents and sounds if women moaning keeps me awake meanwhile my boyfriend who I would describe as the little train who can't hold his load sleeps. So as you can guess Im super horny and sexually fustrated all the time.

[JHAYES317]

Then why are you dating this guy?

[DumbandDumbber]

I understand where he is getting from, he feels like maybe his dick isn't big enough or doenst know how to fully pleasure you with it. Look at it this way, what if you had an orgasm everytime you had sex but your boyfriend didn't. You would feel like you aren't enough for him.

Maybe try some other postitions where you orgasm or having him playing with your clit while doing it.

[Asker]

Its extremely hard for me to orgasm trough penetration alone and I always refuse when he offers to give me oral because its not my thing. I don't like it, and I genuinely don't care if I get an orgasm or not. I know where he is coming from, he just doesn't know where I'm coming from:/

[DumbandDumbber]

Then he must stop being selfish and respect your wishes, if you dont like being licked down there then he shouldn't do it. Talk to him.