Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why is my husband so selfish. Masturbating. Leaving his dishes around. Never trying ehat I want in bed?

I'm 25 years old. Im a smoke show. I keep myself in good shape and make sure I'm looking good for my husband all the time. As well as taking care of our son and working and cleaning the house doing laundry all that crap.

I have an insane sexual appetite. Im I'm always ready to go. Yet I wake up and my husband is gone to work and there's porn on the laptop. My porn.

See I like hard core and bdsm. My husband just likes big ass porn. But he hasn't been trying to tie me up or be rough with me. Our sex is always aimed at his pleasure. Not to mention he always cums and leaves me hanging. But now he's watching my porn so he's clearly into it. But doesn't want to do it with Me?

Im horny all the time and he barely is. So when Im already starving for sex and he goes and jacks off. How am I supposed to feel. I just want to be with a man who wants me and let's me know that. Instead of spanking it to some bitch he doesn't know. If it takes me not being his wife to want me again so be it. I wasn't put on this planet to be a man's property and occasionally have sex whenever he feels like it.
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Porn sucks.

    Like you, I have a partner who is considerably less interested than I am, both in frequency and variety. For a while I turned to porn. Worst decision ever. I stopped watching porn and focused on what made her desire it more often. It has helped a lot. I know he's in the wrong and it shouldn't have to be on you to fix it, but it is.

    He needs to stop being selfish. Make him talk about why he jacks off when he's got such an amazingly awesome partner. Use sentences like, "When you ______, it makes me feel _____." Don't say always or never. That puts him on the defensive. Ask him why he has lost interest in pleasing you. Ask if there's anything you could be doing different. But talk! And consider having both of you go cold turkey on the porn. By eliminating it, hopefully you won't think about it as much by constantly seeing what you're missing and he will get his needs met where he ought to be… with you!

    He's an idiot for wasting what he has in you and at some point you're going to reach the conclusion that life is too short for inconsiderate lovers. But I seriously hope you're able to turn this around before it's too late.

    Good luck!

    PS: If throwing yourself at him isn't working, what about trying the opposite? I saw your comment where you wanted to be dominated. Is it possible he does as well? What if you switched once. Make him satisfy you. Then bring him to the edge and quit. Then make him get you off again. Repeat as necessary.

  • Whatever is going on between you guys, he feels lots of pressure to have sex with you. And feels ur unhappy. And the sex is not fun for him because of this. Or not as fun. Sometimes he just needs the release. Also it's quicker. So stop pressuring him, and reconnect. He will be more open to what you want if it is you guys figuring it out together, v you making yourself a hotter fuck doll to attract him...

Most Helpful Girls

  • Why don't you try to be more honest with him? Ok, maybe you can start the ball rolling first, send him a horny text, I assume you and him is in a stable relationship. If he doesn't know that you want it, how can he react? Maybe you can sneak up on him and give him a blow job or whatever, that might get him into the mood. I suppose he has been doing BDSM with you before? Maybe his schedule is tight and he is a little tired to go hardcore, do forgive him. But of course if you want it hard enough, being tired won't be an issue, just be honest, I think that's what you need. Good luck!

  • Girl Im with ya! That sounds like a terrible situation, I would sit him down and tell him all of this.. And give him an option... step up the sex game or file those papers. (Yes guys I know this sounds shallow but it is what it is)

    • Lmao

  • 1 of 2 reasons

    he's lazy as fuck and just wants to get off quick without all the fuss off foreplay.
    or
    he's addicted to porn

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 15

  • there's 2 sides to every story. Communication is key

  • Sexual incompatibility is a common reason for marriage break ups, quite right, you should not have to spend the rest of your life tied to a selfish idiot who can't even satisfy you before himself.
    My advice is to make a clean break, start again, find a nice sexually compatible guy, you can do that on a good dating site where you can explore desires and turnons before meeting for real.

  • if i was in your shoes i'd be mad... have you talked to him about it?

    • Yes I've talked to him i talk to him all the time especially about sex. And I give him blowjobs all the time and surprise him withloingerae and heels and I even choreographed a lap dance routine and he about it I'm just waiting for a good time we have a son so it can be hard. I do everything to spice it up while this mother fucker plays video games leaves his shit paying laying around and won't dominate me. Im I'm sick of feeling like a doll on a shelf. Im I'm fucking awesome and I don't wanna feel like I'm less special that a video and his hand

  • Why did you marry him to begin with, if you aren't sexually compatible - but it is an important need to you?

  • if your sexual desires and drives dont match and also if he is not taking care of you in other things, just break up.

  • I always end up in that same position that you're in. My ex wife, and non of my ex girlfriends liked bdsm. I mean at all, period. Im always the one ready to go for sex. I think its murphys law, or an opposites attract type of thing.

    • The only guy who ever treated me the way i wanted in bed. Treated me like crap deal in every other aspect of our relationship. I thought my husband with kinky he used to be a pimp and had a stripper for a girlfriend. The first week we were together we fucked all the time. Then I guess he got lazy

    • Some people do experience lower sex drives with age.

  • Conservative thinking.

  • Did he magically just change one day? Let me guess after marriage he got lazy and fat?

  • Tell him don't be selfish, he must care for you otherwise I am here for u ;)

  • As far as i am concerned nobody has any obligations to do what their partner wants in the bedroom.

    • Agreed but that's not the argument. The argument is I'm trying and he's not

    • Nobody should do anything they are not comfortable with in a relationship.

  • Sounds like ur in a bad situation lol if u want a pick me up or just a nice chat lmk haha

  • You do porn? And he doesn't want you? Dumb ass.

  • he doesn't want to have sex with u since he do masturbation so he must stop doing it , he already has u

  • You might need to tell and discuss with him directly if you already didn't. Tell him what you want. He can't read your mind.

  • I don't know why he would choose porn over you. Especially if you are into kinky stuff. He should be having sex with you at least a few times per week.

    If you were single and into femdom, I would pleasure you every night. You're hot too, so he should be more into having sex with you.
    Do you normally get along outside of the bedroom though? If not, then that can kill the desire for someone sexually.

    • We get along great. I'm just more adventurous than he is I guess.

    • Explain to him that you need more. Then ask him if he would be alright with you having sex with other guys so you will be satisfied if he doesn't want to do it. If it was me, I would agree to that if my wife wanted more sex than she was getting from me.

  • If he's "spanking it to some girl he doesn't know" then why are you fingering to a "guy you don't know"?

  • the hand and video may be better

    • Eat a dick

    • hahahahaha go eat ur husbands... oh wait he doesn't want u too... lol

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Why is my husband so selfish. Masturbating. Leaving his dishes around. Never trying ehat I want in bed?