Why does my boyfriend want anal sex so bad and it gives me the impression he likes it more than normal sex?

[Anonymous]

I hate anal sex to start off, I can't stand it and it hurts, my boyfriend is crazy about it cause he tells me he tried it with his ex and she said she felt twice the pleasure and all this crap and I told him I don't care and I DON'T WANT to do it cause I find it disgusting and I don't like it, and he always brings the topic over and over when we see each other. and I AM fed up, I am willing to dump his ass, for as much as I know he always thinks he has the reason about almost everything and I feel As I can't express myself.

[samhradh_leannan]

Some girls really enjoy anal, but it's not for everyone. Personally, I'm in the same boat as you- I can't stand anal sex and I have pretty much no interest in it. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to understand that not all women are the same, and that just because his ex enjoyed something that doesn't mean you will or should enjoy it. It's time to make that clear to him. Let him know that anal sex is painful for you, and he has no right to ask you to do something that is painful just because he thinks it's fun. Ask him to understand your situation and to stop pestering you. If he can't respect your limits and remains more interested in his own pleasure than your comfort and safety, then it's time to leave.

[Asker]

Exactly!! He thinks there's no reason for me not to like it, SERIOUSLY!! he is crazy, and sometimes he just mocks me and plays in funny stupid way saying he should put something in my butt to dilate it.

[samhradh_leannan]

That's legitimately terrifying. He's clearly not respecting your boundaries or showing any concern for your well-being. If a serious talk doesn't knock some sense into him and change his attitude, then I have to recommend ending the relationship. You should be with someone who cares about you and respects your feelings.

[AthleticMom]

What I'm reading is a sad tale of a relationship that has lost the love while the lust has gone porn. Bringing up ex-sex in order to ARGUE undesirable sexual privileges with your body crowns that impression, not to mention the lack of breeding & etiquette.

Not understanding why he became, then continued as and now boyfriend who will argue his penis into your ass, knowing you have zero pleasure.

Something has been stopping you from dumping him... all I can guess is that you are living high on the hog and he's paying for all that?

[Asker]

LOL jejej don't fall out of your chair, but he does not have money he is a university student he is 36y/o Maybe since I lost my virginity with him, I am maintaining the old wives believes LOL. his family helps him with the university money and stuff like that.

[AthleticMom]

Time to man up = you get a real man that loves you and finds anal distasteful, even gay = pampered boyfriend (now ex) grows up and hopes he finds someone else to manipulate, who will of course turn the tables on him and harness him into a loveless life

[Meghan87]

While I think there is nothing wrong with sharing sexual fantasies and keeping yourself open to trying new things in bed with one another, I do think he's taking this one a little too far. Everyone has limits and anal is yours. Everyone is different and likes different things and he needs to respect that. If regular sex keeps you satisfied but is not enough for him then maybe you're just not sexually compatible.

[enis_Penvy]

Everything you just wrote - tell him. Don't tell us tell HIM every word. Nothing wrong with him asking to try something new, hell nothing wrong with asking again down the road to see if you changed your mind. But constantly harassing you on the topic has you so fed Up you want to dump him.
Tell him and don't hold back. If he values anal so much he's willing to walk after you tell him let him go. Most likely he'll straighten up though if you tell him as strongly as you told us

[Asker]

I have told him and he does not push me to do it, Cause I have told him seriously and with character, but he brings it up any other day I feel as if it was to test me and see if possibly I have changed my mind.

[Tiffylynn207]

Definitely, construct an honest conversation with him

[PiuBravoRagazzo]

Damn dude seems very annoying and obsessive about this. Go tell him if it feels so good to fuck his friends in the ass.

If you dont enjoy it, tell him one more time and ask that he never bring it up again, and if he does you will leave him.

He sounds like a real weirdo scumbag

[PiuBravoRagazzo]

You need to leave this dude before you waste anymore time *update response He doesn't even want to kiss you, yet he wants to shove his cock in your ass? I say you leave him and find a man who wants to kiss you all the time

[redeyemindtricks]

"Go tell him if it feels so good to fuck his friends in the ass" #savage

[PiuBravoRagazzo]

@redeyemindtricks sorry lol, dudes like this piss me off

[AustinMan]

Check messaging.

[AustinMan]

After you follow me. I have some ideas that I feel like would help but would be more comfortable telling you offline. I'm not hitting on you, just trying to help.

[JonJames]

He may not be the right guy for you. But I promise you, anal is not the problem. HE is the problem. Unless he is willing to study all of this, then dump him. That said, massive squirting anal orgasms ARE possible.

Anal Advisor – Pucker Up

Anal orgasm - How to have an analgasm (cosmopolitan. com)

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, 2nd Edition: Taormino, Tristan: 9781573442213: Amazon. com: Books

Grind it deep in there when you unload in her ass. She will thank you.

[peachblossomluck]

He's using you, disrespecting you, and secretly fantasizing that you're a man? Or he has a small dick and needs buttsex. Or he simply enjoys making you do something you hate? I'm not saying anal sex is bad. Anal sex with him is not a good thing.

[hollygoeslightly]

If he keeps pestering you even though you said no, so I would let him k ow he has one more chance or you will find someone who respects you.

[SarahsSummer]

It really shouldn't be this big an issue. If he doesn't respect that you don't want to do it, then he doesn't respect you and isn't a good match. Tell him if he brings it up again, it's over.

[Tiffylynn207]

Never stop kissing. It does terrible things to both of you mentally (relationship wise)

[Tanairy328]

Dump his ass, you already said you don't like it, that should be the end of it, tell him that if he doesn't get over it, then you're gone. Also i'd be pretty pissed if he brought up his ex girlfriend as a way to guilt trip me. >:(

[Asker]

You are right!! and the ex girlfriend thing he has mentioned it twice with this one!

[GraveTruth]

Often very sexually active individuals who are open with talking about sex will mention or list of hardlimits on certain stuff that one likes.
A hard limit means it will NEVER happen and if you can't live without it then we have a big problem here. Softlimit is occassional.

Offer to talk about it in that way. Don't forget that if you do it is better to try to make it POSITIVE. not just be like "NO NO NO NO"

[lualesca]

It's the forbidden fruit... everyone desires what they can't have.

[samhradh_leannan]

But decent, mature adults understand that we don't always get everything we want, and that respecting other people's boundaries and comfort zones is important. Your statement is often true, but it's not an excuse for this guy's behavior.

[lualesca]

@samhradh_leannan Well sure, i agree to your statement about mature adults, but remember that the guy is not raping or ravaging his girlfriend for anal sex, he is asking for it.

[samhradh_leannan]

I wouldn't call it asking so much as repeatedly nagging, pressuring, and failing to respect her feelings about it. But, yes, that's vastly preferable to rape.

[FemWorship]

Please correct my interpretation
you have a "BF" that manipulates his penis for self pleasure into your anus knowing it both hurts & disgusts you

What's the attraction he holds over you?

[Dansexuall]

There are 2 types of women in this world, those who make the effort to satisfy their man, and then there's those that get cheated on and resented and spend #foreveralone.

[Tanairy328]

So she's supposed to just go through the pain so that the prick can have his pleasure? fuck you.

[Dansexuall]

@Tanairy328 fuck me for being real with her? SHUT up you worthless cunt.

[Asker]

@Tanairy328 Exactly, what a dick head this douche! another stupid sexist. ugh

[Asker]

What a piece of shit you are, did you know that? Yeah I am sure you do,

[Dansexuall]

So its sexist to expect a woman to play her damn role in a relationship? YOU'D soon have something to say if your men stopped doing their duty. I'm so lucky to have a woman that is superior to most. A woman should do ANYTHING her man asks. FOR example, last month my girlfriend and I walked her friend home from the club, I was horny so took them both into a backstreet and put them both on their knees for a dual blowie. AFTER which I pissed up the wall and told most girlfriend to get on the floor and lick it up. she did it without question. That is a woman who live a good life, that is a real woman.

[Tanairy328]

You have some fucked up views, women are NOT slaves to men, you don't fucking own women, they DONT have to do everything you say if they're not comfortable with it. Again, fuck you.

[Dansexuall]

Also you moan that he doesn't like to kiss. you want him to kiss more when he doesn't want to and that's ok but just taking an anal creampie is soooo bad? but being female you wouldn't see the hypocrisy would you

[Dansexuall]

@Tanairy328 er. . If a woman wants to be with me then yes the fuck she does have to play by my rules. I am not some average man, please believe. If you want me to pick you to spend my time with then bitch you'd better give me what I need or ill move onto one of your friends that will fill the void which you left.

[Tanairy328]

Your rules are shit, you're just a selfish controlling prick who thinks women must bow down to their men and do whatever the guy wants no matter her feelings on it. Fuck that, are you going to do whatever your women tells you too? Are you okay with your girlfriend fucking other guys too? would you be fine with her shoving a large dildo up your ass?

[Dansexuall]

@Tanairy328 well yes, she does finger my assignment and fuck me with stuff, she can and does fuck other guys and do anything else she wishes, do you know why? because I am NOT a controlling prick. You fucking hypocrite.

[Tanairy328]

If its equal like that its fine, but if someone doesn't like anal they don't need to do it to "satisfy" their man, why would someone be selfish enough to try and make their partner do something if they don't find pleasure in it? only selfish people so that.

[Tanairy328]

*do that

[Asker]

I would advise you to go check in a mental institution you really need it, I feel pitty for you and you submissive girlfriend, What a shame!.

[Dansexuall]

@Tanairy328 I don't find pleasure in hoovering or doing other female chores but ill still do them out of respect and to keep the woman happy. Relationships work on comprise. This woman doesn't seem to have any.

[Asker]

@Tanairy328 Exactly this man is fucking crazy, like if women have to be submissive, this man is so retarded seriously, ugh disgusting! don't waste your energy on this moron!

[Dansexuall]

You pity me? HAHA. PLEASE don't, my life is awesome :) my girlfriend puts out lol

[Tanairy328]

You don't know their life, amazingly there are a million ways to please each other without having anal, not having anal is not the fucking end of the world.

[Dansexuall]

@Tanairy328 you font need to tell me, I don't even like anal. you just both got trolled to fuck lmao. Happy Thursday :)

[samhradh_leannan]

Making an effort to satisfy your partner doesn't mean doing whatever they want even if it's painful, upsetting, or unsafe. If you think it's normal for men to expect their girlfriends to do things that are painful for them, and that it's normal to cheat on and resent your partner just because they have limits to what works for their body and what they feel comfortable with, then you're probably the one who's going to spend #foreveralone.

[Dansexuall]

@samhradh_leannan nope I'm engaged. I'm never single, try again love

[samhradh_leannan]

Either you treat your fiance far better than what you portray in this comment to be the norm, or you simply haven't discovered any such little incompatibilities yet. Don't worry, there's still time.

[Dansexuall]

@samhradh_leannan well iv known my fiance for 16 years so guess what.. wrong again lol.

[samhradh_leannan]

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. And since your relationship is apparently happy and successful, I'm willing to bet that you don't expect her to do 100% of whatever you want even if it hurts her.

[UnderlyDedicated]

Maybe he's gay. I've done anal. My girlfriend likes it after the pain goes away and I'm like whatever about it. But if he's crazy over it maybe he likes buttholes over pussy. Which in my book makes you gay.

[Asker]

Exactly!! That's what I find weird, We have normal sex, but i feel is not all to him, he prefers to finish with anal. And it does worries me because we should both enjoy normal sex (I do) Him well maybe no to its fullest. perhaps he is bisexual?

[UnderlyDedicated]

Definitely a possibility he's bi.. Most men want anal only because it's taboo and there's something appealing about a woman who's willing to take it up the ass for you. That's the reason why I wanted to try it and enjoyed it so much the first couple of times. Now it's whatever. I can take it or leave it but I definitely prefer pussy.

[Asker]

exactly!! which is obviously the normal. I wonder how can I truly figure out if he is bi or gay?

[UnderlyDedicated]

That'll be hard. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe he does but won't accept it. Perhaps ask him for a threesome with another man? Then if he goes for it see how he acts during. I don't know. That seems like the best way to find out. Any other way won't help or won't work.

[Asker]

That's a good idea to mention that and see how he reacts!!

[UnderlyDedicated]

Good luck

[Theodorable]

He's probably into butt holes and might be a homosexual. See if he'll let you anal him, and if so, you know... he's a fudge packer.

[akadatank44]

Dump him
1. He brings up his ex a lot
2. he's not respecting your wishes
3. he's being an asshole
4. He won't grow up and be an adult
5. he's seems to lack an interest in you.

[Asker]

He does need to grow up he is 37 and acts like if he was 21, He is sarcastic as well. ughh I told him months ago and he has respected my wishes and not pushed me but he brings the anal topic, even just to mention it.

[akadatank44]

Honestly I'd end things with him. Its just that he won't get it over this. I read below you tried it twice. Thats enough dude. Its not like you are saying no and not tried it. You tried it and you hate thats it. Don't bring it up and be obsessive about it. He sounds like a duchbag in all honesty. 37 not grown up. Of course you can be immature and fun at times when the time calls for it to be but now about this. I think you could find much better

[Cowboy6666]

Dump him, if I were your boyfriend I won't force you to do so.. ;)

[nuqueunltd]

He just want to explore you body more intimately and unrestricted.

[Tiffylynn207]

Because he thinks it's kinky

[Justin85283]

@Tiffylynn207 how often have you had anal?

[Asker]

@Tiffylynn207 I did it 2 times and literally my tears came out, such an asshole he is.

[Justin85283]

did you use lube?

[Tiffylynn207]

The first 2 times are the hardest to get through dear.. Justin: hunny, before I disclose that information to you, I need ya to be at least 17. I'll tell you then, for real though, deal?

[Justin85283]

@Tiffylynn207 I won't like not to have to wait

[Tiffylynn207]

@Justin85283 Granted, but only because it is only information. I've been having sex for 7 years now, and took anal about a dozen times

[Justin85283]

@Tiffylynn207 that's so hot... i'm still a virgin... looking for my first... how many different guys have you had?

[Tiffylynn207]

@Justin85283 One.. same guy since 2008

[Justin85283]

@Tiffylynn207 lucky guy... how many total before?

[Tiffylynn207]

@Justin85283 Hunny, I was a Virgin before

[Justin85283]

@Tiffylynn207 how many guys have your had sex with?

[Tiffylynn207]

@Justin85283 One dear. I'm 21 years old, lost my virginity at 14, in 2008 (or 2009) and have been with him ever since. But I learned a lot with him lol he taught me all I know

[Justin85283]

how many guys have you either jacked off or given a bj to?

[Tiffylynn207]

@Justin85283 Is it really thi's hard to believe u been with one guy? Is this what the wofld has come to?

[Justin85283]

@Tiffylynn207 id.. i'm glad for you and him

[Tiffylynn207]

@Justin85283 Aw, thank you! :)

[Tiffylynn207]

It's not always easy..

[nuqueunltd]

what age did you start doing anal?

[Tiffylynn207]

Hahaha you're good

[Tiffylynn207]

I was 19

[nuqueunltd]

who initiated you or him?

[Tiffylynn207]

We talked a lot, it was very even effort

[nuqueunltd]

kind of spontaneous...

[Tiffylynn207]

Yeah, that's accurate. But I made him wait a year before I allowed him to take my virginity, does that make it better?

[nuqueunltd]

sound so HOT!

[nuqueunltd]

love doing it unplanned

[Tiffylynn207]

Sex used to happen so often

[nuqueunltd]

what position did you go for, first time anal?

[Tiffylynn207]

He on top and doggie Maybe I'm too submissive

[nuqueunltd]

him on top... missionary?

[Tiffylynn207]

Well ya see, I was a cheerleader, and quite bendable

[nuqueunltd]

was missionary when I did my girlfriend (anal) both of us were first time. work well as just need to lower myself down south she guided me in.

[Tiffylynn207]

Yea, it's great how things work

[nuqueunltd]

this topic made me so freaking hard already, how about you (were you wet...).

[Tiffylynn207]

I got laid somewhere in there

[Tiffylynn207]

I'm feeling great :)

[nuqueunltd]

Have ever done DP?

[Tiffylynn207]

I dunno what it is..

[nuqueunltd]

double penetration.

[Tiffylynn207]

Aw.. Yeah

[nuqueunltd]

does that mean yes.

[Tiffylynn207]

Yes sir

[nuqueunltd]

was it with another person?

[Tiffylynn207]

Nope. Toys

[nuqueunltd]

where are you from, may I ask?

[Tiffylynn207]

Maine

[nuqueunltd]

wish I could talk to you.

[Tiffylynn207]

Message me bro, I'm an open book

[nuqueunltd]

facebook?

[Tiffylynn207]

Or on here?

[nuqueunltd]

either...

[Tiffylynn207]

Do itt

[MrExtremely2Kinky]

Hard to kill that desire.

[BluntlyHonest]

Tell him you are willing to do that if he let you to shove giant iron dildo to his ass first

[Elliot0_07]

Why is it so hard for you to pleasure him?

You know what? Leave him, he doesn't deserve a boring girlfriend like you are.

[xyzSPIRITzyx]

honestly, ask him to let u peg him, and see how he likes it, that may open his mind to how bad it hurts u