I want to hook up with a guy from tinder, but I'm scared, advice?

[Anonymous]

So just some details, I'm 27 and still a virgin. I've never been in a relationship, and earlier this year I got tired of looking for one so now I only want to hook up to the point of something oral (which I've done before), because a girl's got needs.

I don't know this guy, just his first name off tinder, he's pretty hot and fit looks legit... and he keeps telling me how he has big D, and lets talk if I'm down to go down on him etc. but I don't know for sure if I want to go down on him or just make out and have my boobs fondled and all that, I'll like jerk him off but I don't know I'd be comfortable just going down fully. I';m scared that'll he'll force me or get pissed that I'm not doing it or bc he says he wants to deepthroat and I have a gag reflex.

How do I stay in control if we start hooking up, I don't want to have any intercourse for sure.

HELP!

[Anonymous]

um... most of the guys are only after one thing and will only see you as such.
Now my question is this:
do you really want to lose that with a freaking dumb, narcissistic, God complex, asshole, who has probably slept with more girls and he can even count?
personally If i had the chance i would have loved to have waited for my love (I am with him now and have been for 12 years) because he has taught me more things than i ever learned with the previous guys.
I know this because when we were separated I tried other guys as per what he told me to do... I pretty much rocked their world and they kept bothering me afterwards when I really didn't want to do it in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Omg I can relate to this. I tried to lose my virginity through tinder and when I met him I was not able to have sex with him and he was a complete asshole about it. Don't try to loose your virginity through that because it is basically saying to the guy want to have sex and you are leading him on. Try to loose it to a boyfriend. I recently got in a relationship and he was very gentle with me and patient and I was able to have sex with him. Honestly I find tinder to be ridiculous and horrible. Just my opinion haha.

[Asker]

Ahh really? I don't want to loose my virginity just oral stuff ONLY. I just don't know if he'll be a creep. Like how did you meet the guy, at a coffee shop like how did it all go down... and what did he do?

[cchris987]

Why don't you just try GAG they can be any worst than the guys on tinder lol

[Opinion Owner]

Omg this is such a long story haha. He wanted me to go to his house and I said well how about coffee and he said there is coffee at my house (asshole haha) so he wanted to exchange numbers and asked me for nudes so I stupidly sent him a pic of my boobs... So I went to his house and he showed me his guitar and then he had me go downstairs with him and when we were you know and and he was about to you know haha I blurted out I was a virgin and he tried over and over to have sex but I kept pushing him away and so he gave up and told me to leave lol. I was sitting outside his house and his cousin came over and told me to go back in and gave me food... Then he tried to have sex with me too... Omggg what a disaster.. Loosing your virginity is painful and it took my boyfriend and me about an hour to have sex but he was super slow and patient haha. I hate tinder so much lol. There is a big possibility the guy doesn't just want oral lol. Maybe ask him?

[cchris987]

Cool story bro

[Opinion Owner]

@cchris987 lmao it was terrible. But thinking about it now what an experience hahaha

[Asker]

OMG that's horrible, well good thing you didn't loose it then. I';m just having a horrible luck finding a first proper boyfriend and

[Asker]

and just want to get the "frustration" haha out of my system.

[cchris987]

Just be honest with men someone will eventually give you what you want

[dissolute_dog]

>>>>>>"when we were you know and and he was about to you know haha" Daaaaamn pink anon, serious case of deja vu right there. =/ BUT ANYWAY! -- agreed that it was a cool story, bro. xD

[Anonymous]

He sounds like such a douche!! Let him get a hooker if he has demands! Let a dude please you. I would not put my mouth around some guys random D... you don't know where that thing has been. Seriously. This is how disease and permanent viruses stay with people... be smart go to match. com or a coffee house to meet a decent guy not some slimy D bag that doesn't care in the least about u. Respect

[Asker]

Ah I know your right! Just only thing is its been a while and I'm not attracted to any of these guys on there that seem more serious.. I know I have to settle for some guy I'm not attracted to and maybe just get the hornyness for a lack of a better word out of my system:( I hope you don't judge me by that... I was like the most innocent person anyone knew and now I'm okay with hooking up with a random guy, don't know how that happened.

[dissolute_dog]

>>>>>>"He sounds like such a douche!!" LOL I was thinking this too. :D I mean, c'mon: the Asker says he's one of those guys who "keeps telling me how he has big D, and lets talk if I'm down to go down on him". C'mon. xD Your virginity is worth a better guy than this, Miss. Try to wait for the right person. :)

[Opinion Owner]

I know we all have needs but think of your body as a temple that is only lent to you to house your soul while here on earth. Vibrator in the mean time?

[lovydoey]

First of, if u never meet him before then go in a crowed area and be in a group setting. That way if things don't work out u always have someone else to go with and be protected

[Asker]

yeah, I'm going to have my best friend (who thinks I'm just on a date, I don't want her to judge me lol) and if he starts being creepy she will know my wearabouts I guess

[lovydoey]

Yea go with ur best friend and be in a crowd area maybe a festival, park, restaurant and walking around in a crowed place. Just think of ur safety first please :)

[Asker]

like she's not coming with me but she lives within a 20 min drive of where we would meet. Is it safe to just do things in his car or just my car? I'm turning into a slut, but I just want to do things and have don't want to think of a relationship because I've had bad dating experiences where guys were just mean to me.

[lovydoey]

And if u want to do sex then u will be the judge of that by seeing how he reacts when he is in a group setting and what vibe he gives of. I tend to invite at least 3 friends tho but that's just me I guess

[Asker]

hmm its kinda of awkard telling 3 friends to come with you to feel a guy out when your only meeting him to hookup lol... I think I'm just gonna feel him out when we do meet up at a public place and if he;s just odd just make up an emergency and leave.

[lovydoey]

Lol no, because is not like u going to hook up in a public place 😂 if u feel comfortable with the guy then u can tell ur friends that u want to spend time with ur date (they will understand). And there u go 😂 Either way u do what u want. But I wouldn't loose my virginty so easily and so randomly to a guy but then again that's ur life

[mits777]

Keep in mind that in public places anyone behaves properly ;) and manipulates you so you can't understand anything at all. The only thing you can verify is that it is really him if you meet him in public place. He will act nice and respectful in a public place, you will see the real him only at his place, and as you described here...

[lovydoey]

@mits777 true Like I said before I wouldn't do it regardless. I wouldn't NEVER sleep with someone I meet on the internet on first encounter. But I'm giving scenarios to this girl if she "truly" wants to perform oral just cause she is still a virgin. I mean people can do what they want with their life. Just as long she stays safe

[mits777]

@lovydoey Of course people can do anything they want, but I don't want to push people into bad things lol. I wish anyone the best xD. Just adviced her to be careful because such a guy may be violent. Imagine only by the phone telling her how will fuck her mouth by texting, in real life he may use force if she goes like a sheep into the wolf den. I want to help the question owner because in such a place may be my friend sister or whatever. I think it is best to meet him 1-2 times in public places drink something with him and so on not just go immediately. If the guy didn't appeared so horny and aggressive on messages maybe she could go to his place immediately I don't know.

[lovydoey]

@mits777 true true. Everyone in the comment section can tell her. Be safe and don't do it! But in the end it looks she just wants to loser her virginity because she's 27. (As if that was a problem) and how do I take that off a mind of someone that just wants to fit in to a crowd rather than being their own individual. In the end they will just think "everything will be okay, it will work out like I imagine". I mean is like, the more u push someone saying "don't do it" the more they wanna do it..

[mits777]

@lovydoey "I mean is like, the more u push someone saying "don't do it" the more they wanna do it.. " - it depends on the arguments and the examples that you give. If you just say don't do it you push them more, if you reason correctly you can change their mind. If I give her examples of girls being raped that way I don't think she will be pushed more to do it lol. Also being virgin at any age isn't something that should pressure her to have sex with some random guy, she doesn't want sex. She mentioned in the question that is horny and wants only oral

[lovydoey]

@mits777 but isn't that too desperate? (Also she address that in the first sentance so she is putting more weight on that) I'm 19 still a virgin and I'm not looking to hook up to a random guy just to do oral. I mean when I get a boyfriend I want to do Once and IF I feel a connection (which is already hard, cuz I don't get crushes easily) not because I just meet the guy and I want to do it to satisfy my sexual frustration. But yea now I see ur point. I guess I'm talking on my age group mentality. Lol. But yea, who knows, if she says she wants to do just oral and he is like okay. But only to push it further to make her do stuff she doesn't want.

[mits777]

@lovydoey lol you are 19 I 23 age mentality isn't so different at all. Anyway, yeah she can go but I would still advice her to be careful and to go out in public like 2 times before going to his place. From oral to forcing or raping her in his own room is very close if the guy is an aggressive jerk.

[lovydoey]

@mits777 lol could be I don't know, I just got out of the HS state 😅 but yeah. @asker please don't do it with him. Do it when u have a boyfriend that u actually meet in person and known for a long time.

[mits777]

it is at least for now lol :P because I just finished uni myself so same ideas since finishing high school up to know. Now is the real deal for me the hard life hahaha only work fucking work... lol. And yeah asker don't do it

[lovydoey]

@mits777 oooh man, and I though college was hard now 😂. Jeee hope she reads this and hopefully she gets a warning sign and don't do it with a stranger

[mits777]

@lovydoey I want to motivate you to enjoy your college and uni time after :D. The real shit comes after university lol!!! You may have to work overtime or you get fired. NO money no life lol Life is hard sucks balls but we should never give up until we come up with some nice thing to live on our own

[lovydoey]

@mits777 lol true to that 😆

[mits777]

I know it sucks to not be attracted to anyone that you know. I was in same position didn't liked any girl that I knew in real life... Anyway you must not meet that guy! even if he is hot and fit because what you are describing here he is a jerk and will humiliate you. You will feel like shit for yourself after the meeting, also he may force himself on you to take your virginity. You better ask some male friend that you trust to eat your pussy. Come on I know you have a fit friend... close the lights and don't see his face lol. At least you will be safe and feel relaxed with someone you know and will enjoy it better.

[underconstuxion206]

Don't do it with some guy on tinder, you don't know if he's a psycho or some shit where he'll kidnap you or something crazy. Wait until you meet a guy you like, and if you're a virgin, I don't think you'll want a guy that too big anyways. Find someone you like and that likes you back, he can make it an enjoyable experience or a horrible experience, depends on how he treats you and if he cares for you.

[Asker]

I only want to do ORAL things not loose my virginity at all... like where and how do I do that and have fun with being safe at the same time.

[underconstuxion206]

Do it while he's driving, or somewhere you tow might get caught, you'll be safe and excited.

[Asker]

like the parking lot of a busy mall?

[underconstuxion206]

please be careful, oral sex can lead to other things too.

[underconstuxion206]

Yea, the parking of a busy mall would be exciting.

[Asker]

yeah I know, like an STD, BUT can you get a perm virus from it? I don't know if I'll go down if I don't feel comfortable I won't... im just scared he'll get pissed off. I guess I'll feel it out, meet him for drinks first or coffee... if he says no to that then I won't go. I want to at least get a sense of his vibe.

[underconstuxion206]

Get to know him first and you may like him, but some guys can be straight jerks, and you may not even want to see him again after you meet you him.

[underconstuxion206]

And yes, you can get herpes from oral, many people have mouth herpes, they call it a cold sore. Google it.

[Asker]

okay yeah, I think I'll do that... and just see how it goes. I'm going in just expecting the worst lol... but one thing I've never had oral done on me and I want to try it. Like do I tell him to not finger me or basically tell him I'm a virgin... like if he finds out I'm a virgin is he just gonna want to do me more or something?

[underconstuxion206]

It might scare him away, bc that's a lot of pressure on him, and he doesn't know if you'll be clingy.

[Asker]

really? I guess that's a good way to stop him if he tries to force things on me that I don't want to do.

[Kaazsz]

That sounds a bit dangerous to me. Don't let your first sexual encounter be with a stranger. My main reason for this is some guys would get angry, some guys would try to force you. They don't expect to meet a girl and she only wants to jerk him off. You could end up raped, that doesn't sound like a good idea. Find someone you trust, meet someone in real life that you can talk to and be open and honest with.

[lualesca]

I suggest you lose your virginity to someone you know, and who would be willing to prepare something special for you, like candles, maybe some balloos, flowers, etc.
On the hooking up part, you are getting in trouble.

[YoloMama]

Please don't just meet up with a guy from tinder. You don't know who he is! He might, as other people have said, get angry and intimidate you into having sex. It's not worth the risk.

[Tony1974]

I suggest you pass on TINDER if you want to stay a virgin. Go to MATCH. com or E-harmony; they may be more you speed.

[kostas25]

Ask one of your male friends to eat
your pussy!

[Anonymous]

Hook ups are gross and immoral

[Anonymous]

Don't do it girl. This guy sounds like a dick, a big one alright. Its not safe plus you're innocent. Tinder is a dirty place especially for a nice girl like you. Be patient, you'll meet the right one the right way

[Anonymous]

Get a bullet for ur peanut, its a safer way.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say it, but don't do it. Try very hard to get a real boyfriend. And then do it with him.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you shouldn't hook up with him. You're scared, you don't know him, you don't know if he's going to force you to do anything or what. It's not worth it!