How can I stay abstinent?

[Anonymous]

I'm a believer of God and I'm really trying to stay abstinent till marriage, but lately all I've been thinking about is sex. I want to have a boyfriend but I don't know if im strong enough to stay abstinent. I'm a virgin so the curiosity of having sex and how it feels is killing me, I even watched porn and I feel awful about it. What can I do?

[Dim1213]

I think that it is really sad that so many people feel threatened by your choice that they feel the need to demean you and bring you down to thier level.

Here is my advice to help you abstain from sex till marriage.
1 Find a good Godly man that will encourage you and that also wants to wait. You two need to work together to support each other and to make sure that you both don't find yourselves alone where there could be a chance for things to happen.
2 Find some friends who will help you two stay in public places and won't leave you two alone to much.
3 Find what works for you. We all are created to with the desire for sex. It is one of the pleasures we are given. In the Bible it says to enjoy what you have and take pleasure in it. When your married that means enjoying your partnership to the fullest. With porn there is the issue of sinning because your lusting after someone or something. For me personally porn does not do it at all. I much rather prefer a story where I can imagine what is happenei inside my head. Or I just enjoy a nice wet dream when I have them. When I'm feeling the need and I don't want to I try a few different things like exercising, reading my Bible, walking the dog, taking a needed break from homework. Hanging out with my family and friends just something to change my thoughts and mood. A cold shower works for some.
4 When you really can't contain yourself just let go and explore your body. It is yours after all and you will enjoy some feelings more than others. Eventually on your wedding night you can tell your future husband how to best touch you from what you learned.
5 Pray for things. Pray for the guy that you want to have. That does mean God will send that guy but he hears your wants and desires. You can trust and talk to him about everything especially cause you can't hide anything from Jesus.
6 Create a support structure. See who you can trust and talk to about thing and not just about sex. Cause those are the people that you will be able to trust to help you out when you can't see how bad your date is or who will help comfort you when things are not going well.
7 Put effort into LOOKING for the right guy that believes just as you do and that won't push you for sex. If he does that is a red flag. A good way to get most guys just looking for sex is to just flat out tell them your waiting and then if they push for it just repeat yourself and turn them down.

I'm also waiting for my honeymoon. Good luck

[Dim1213]

Here is a great Christain guy who talks about the sensitive subjects. Mark Gungor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=814eR5K7KD8
I highly suggest watching his stuff. The video might seem long to watch but it is hilarious and you will be laughing all the way through and enjoying it. He is not a comedian that is on stage to make you laugh he is giving a lecture but it is an enjoyable and fun lecture.

Enjoy and if you want to message me to talk feel free to. :)

[Asker]

Thank you so much

[oakwood]

Well, not trying to disrespect your religion, but dont wait till the marriage. Sex is something natural and we all need it /asexuals dont/. Its healthy and its fun. But if you so badly want to wait for it find someone who is willing to understand. Most guys will try to have sex with you early in the relationship so you really need a hopeless romantic who would wait. If you have such a person by your side it would be easier to wait for the marriage. I wish you good luck and to find that special someone 😊

[egi22]

Sweetie, I grew up in a Christian family too. I had sex and haven't felt guilty at all. Don't feel guilty for your desires. Think about that: if there is a God (I assume you do believe) he will accept us with our flaws. After all, he made us with flaws and these desires. You won't go to hell for having sex or thinking about it lol.
Those who are judging you for your beliefs are not right. I am not religious either but I won't judge others for their beliefs. You can belive in fairies and unicorns. It's your right to believe what you want.

[NyomiMcClinton]

Its nice that you are trying to do whats best for you and live by Bible standards but I think its impossible in this generation to go that long without sex. Its very commendable of you to go that long. But if you do have sex do not beat yourself over it, and remain that everyone sins and even the ones that try to do right, sin. Its impossible to live by bible standards. Because even our thoughts get the best of us.

[Anonymous]

It really is hard to stay abstinent but It's definitely possible! Find someone who also shares the same faith as you so you guys can both help each other out. And really focus on what you want and pray. When you do have a boyfriend it will be very hard but don't give in to the urge of having sex. And don't be watching porn that's gross! lol And it's nothing like real sex normal people have.

[Finesse9898]

Keep yourself distracted and the fact that you might have sex with a guy that doesn't picture you as his wife should already scare you enough lol

[Madeon929]

I've read the Bible.

There is not a single book found in the old/New Testament that bans sex before marriage.

[Asker]

You should type "bible verses about sex before marriage " on google, you'll find some.

[Madeon929]

No. A few things you should know. The Bible is a translation of a translation of a translation. There is no SPECIFIC bible verse (From Genesis to Revelations), that mentions sex before marriage. That practice is a fairly new one. How do you know if you are sexually compatible, if you don't don't sleep together. Are you going to wait until after you're married, find out you aren't compatible, and then go through an expensive divorce. I've been reading and interpreting the Bible since I was 10 years old. Choice is yours though...

[Asker]

I didn't ask for your opinion, good for you if you think like that, go crazy reading the Bible to convince yourself that it's not real what it says, I ASKED FOR ADVICE A POSITIVE PROBLEM SOLVING ADVICE THAT doesn't GO AGAINST MY BELIEFS. There's no need for you to comment if you ain't helping me.

[ColinHarvey]

"But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7:2

[Madeon929]

That does not ban sex before marriage. Put it in context. Adulterous behavior was a common theme of many of the books in the Bible. Have their OWN husband and their OWN wife. Don't try to twist the Bible to fit your narrative.

[ColinHarvey]

"But because of sexual immorality..." It's not my context.

[Madeon929]

Can you specifically define what the Bible meant by "Sexual Immorality?" I certain can and it doesn't include sex before marriage.

[ColinHarvey]

You only looked at the second half in your last rebuttal. I'm reminding you of the first. Because sexual immorality is commonplace, a man shall have his wife, and a wife, her husband. Pretty clear.

[Madeon929]

You still didn't define it and I'm going to assume that you are just going to go in circles. Have a goodnight then.

[ColinHarvey]

Okay - Homosexuality, Pedophaelia, Necrophaelia, Crossdressing, Adultry. The bible has verses condemning these practices. The bible says they are immoral. (I can dig up the verses if you want, but I assume you rest defeated.)

To avoid immorality, a man shall take a wife, a woman shall take a husband. That is your sexual partner.

Current western science points to the idea that lust and masturbation lead to mental health issues and addiction, sex being as potent as cocaine for the hormones - Likewise sex is meant to be an addictive chemical process and those who give to temptation are likely to crave it, off standing relationships with those who don't, or are less susceptible, leading to rocky marraiges down the road. So I scoff at all of these people talking about how great their lives are when they're on G@G probably for good reason - rocky relationships.

www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...riage_n_5698440.html

[normalice]

well, there's the "loophole," but you could also just masturbate. Pretty much everyone does it - including everyone at your church that tells you not to.

[MrWrong420]

ditch the bible and realize life is about experience and learning... ur never gonna progress as a person whilst you have religion holding you back from experiencing what the real world has to offer you...

[Intraluminal]

Get yourself infibulated.

[Intraluminal]

I think this is good advice. You can take the rings out before you get married.

[Asker]

You know how ugly will that look afterwards? I had to google that I didn't even know what was that.

[Intraluminal]

Not the old fashioned kind, the new kind.

[JoyGirl]

I usually just read my bible when I feel some what like that. 😊

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Am a Christian too and Am and abstaining too. So I know your pain. Just pray and ask God for a Godly man. God knows you have sexual needs and desires that's normal for humans. Be active in search and you'll find him soon. God will answer your sexual need and desires with a husband. Just ask and search. Don't be idle or nothing will happen even if you pray a 1000 times.

[Laulaurita]

I believe in God too, but I don't believe that you need to abstention of sex until the marriage, if you found the correct person and you want do it.
Nothing bad is going to happend

[Asker]

Nothing bad? What about stds? Getting pregnant before having a college degree or a job?

[Laulaurita]

You only need to use condon or pils

[ColinHarvey]

I'm saving myself for divorce, too.

[Asker]

I asked for an advice.

[ColinHarvey]

Sorry about all of this, I thought someone would actually help you but these heathens would rather cuck themselves. My pastor always told me to avoid anything my eyes found to be sexual, then I'd never be aroused. It works, to a certain extent but it's hard at first because we have seen so much in our culture. Just pray and take it in small steps. Set daily goals. Sex ruins relationships - It does stuff to people. So keep fighting the good fight, and I'm sure you'll be successful, and married soon enough.

[FrenchyRomain]

what you can do is take a step in the 21st century and not feel bad about enjoying porn, and have sex with a man you love (or not your choice). Why would you refrain yourself from doing something you want to do AND that is legal?

[Mrthinpickle]

Go atheist. There is no god. It's just bs so people are afraid of dying. Reliegion holds us back from the real self that lies within.

[Asker]

I asked for a good advice that doesn't go against what I believe. Can anyone respect others? I don't go on the streets saying sinner sinner sinner I live my life as I want, and don't judge others because they believe differently, you should do that.

[Mrthinpickle]

I think u should wipe the jizz off your face. God knows what you've been doing u naughty girl

[Asker]

He knows but he forgives when you're really sorry and ask for forgiveness. Thanks for wiping my mistakes on my face like I already don't know them.

[Mrthinpickle]

Anytime baby. So why can't u marry and let him forgive u.

[Mrthinpickle]

Or have sex

[Asker]

If wasn't a believer I wouldn't do it anyway, at least until I'm engaged. I don't wanna get pregnant anytime soon or get a std. You guys don't have anything to lose.

[Anonymous]

I'm a good christian. I do love having sex with girls i meet at church though. Just do it, abstinence and virginity are overrated.

[Anonymous]

Have sex with your God. That'll cure you.

[Asker]

That's offensive.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't see how that could possibly be offensive.

[Anonymous]

I to am a virgin. Yes it is hard not to have sex with a girlfriend or in your case a boyfriend. Keep your faith in God when you have the thoughts just start praying it truly does helps. Try to find a boyfriend that has the same values as you. You can support each other when you feel the temptation coming on and remember that you want to stay abstinent for him or whoever your husband may be and the same for the boyfriend and his future wife.

[DidDesiDooThat]

MHO right here

[Anonymous]

You can stitch or superglue your vagina

[Anonymous]

quit using god and religion as an excuse to be guilty of sex. sex isn't bad, or a sin. its a normal desire and a part of life and love, so go find the right guy fall in love and have sex.