Do you find asking for consent hot, or does it kill the mood?

[Anonymous]

Last night I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been dating. The biggest thing that's attracted me to him so far is how kind and considerate he is. Anyway, last night when we slept together, he asked for my consent a few times throughout the encounter. When he touched my boob, I made an accidental involuntary sound (like a tiny whimper) and he immediately asked "is this okay?" When we moved into his bedroom, he outright asked "are we having sex tonight?" And before penetration, he asked "are you ready?" (although to be fair, he might have been referring to my degree of wetness; it was unclear).

Personally, I found it hot. Every time he checked in with me, it turned me on so much more and I responded with an enthusiastic "yes!" each time. But I keep hearing guys saying that asking for consent is lame and apparently kills lady-boners. Occasionally I hear girls agree with this notion as well. So what are your opinions on this? Is expressly asking for consent hot or not?

[underconstuxion206]

I guess it depends on the girl, but I wouldn't ask for consent, I like to take the lead, and if she doesn't like, she can tell me to stop. I feel like the type of guy that would ask for consent would also apologize for every little mistake he makes from not cooking dinner to ramming her to hard in the right place. If I had a girl that would apologize or ask for permission for everything, I feel like that would be a turn off. But like I said, I think it depends on how the other person likes it also.

[Twin2814]

well if you think abput it. asking for consent and getting a reply back means that someone is still awake and ready for whats coming next. so yeah its kinda hot because they are actually focusing on the task at hand. they are not drunk or sleeping or day dreaming. they are focusing on you which is great.

[Asker]

That's a good way to look at it! Lol

[Twin2814]

i think its the honest truth. cause you have some people who are drunk/drugged up. some people who are sleeping. and some people who just dont care. and if the person is in any of those situations, how are you gonna please them like you wpuld if they were sober/actually caring. seeing your partner get pleasure from sex is 1 of the best parts about sex. so being vocal about what your gonna do so maybe you dont do something that they like will keep the pleasure coming. 😊

[kaylaS91]

Back from my single days when guys would ask for my consent before simply kissing me... then yeah, total mood-killer.

My boyfriend never directly asked me if it's okay for him to stick it in me because, I mean- let's be honest here. If we're making out, he gets on top of me with an obvious hard-on, all of which I'm going along with very enthusiastically, wouldn't asking if I'm positive that I'm okay with it be a bit redundant?

[Asker]

Doesn't hurt to be sure! 😁 Like I said, I would've banged him even if he didn't ask; it just turned me on so much more that he did.

[MrNameless]

But if its the first time you could be possibly be having sex (or if he's expecting it), it's a bit different. The receiver sometimes doesn't want to move that fast. I guess it it depends on the person.

[kaylaS91]

@MrNameless uhh... no, the guy who I had sex with for the first time ever didn't ask. I'm an adult- if I feel like it's 'moving too fast', nothing is going to stop me from telling him that or removing myself from the situation.

[Juxtapose]

@kaylaS91 Thank you for putting some sense into these fools! These days are strange times indeed.. We're adults.. let's fucking act like it.

[Derpyy]

Eh, to each their own. I prefer mine to just take it. "But what if I'm not in the mood?" Two things. One: If I'm REALLY not in a good mood, he would be able to tell before initiating and most likely wouldn't even approach me sexually. Two: If I'm in a meh mood, he'll put me in the right mood.

Simple.

[Asker]

My ex was really good at ignoring my "I'm not in the mood tonight" times. So being actual asked was a lovely change of pace haha

[tommygurl]

https://s30.postimg.org/84psp620h/giphy.gif

[DizzyDesii]

Dont ask me. Just do it. If i feel uncomfortable i'll ask you to stop

[truthbeknown]

It is a gentlemanly thing to do. It isn't lame, just lame the way you do it. You get permission and make hot at the same time. "I would love to suck on those nipples, may I?" or "I would love to taste your sweet pussy, mind if I remove your panties?"

[truthbeknown]

Those who downvoted me, care to explain what you do?

[Juxtapose]

Because you're perpetrating social justice culture and standards. If a woman sucks your dick, gets on the bed and spreads her legs.. do you *really* gotta ask if she's okay with it? If I didn't want someone to hop on my dick, I'd just say so! It's *NOT* difficult.

[truthbeknown]

@Juxtapose That's a lot different bud. I'm talking about those times you are both sitting on the couch and all she is doing is sitting there. Not getting consent or at least making sure she is ok and comfortable with the next move is what is landing meatheads like you in jail the next day with rape allegations.

[Juxtapose]

You steadily make moves and see if she's receptive. Are you mentally deficient? Who just pulls her pants down while just sitting there? Social justice is a mental illness.

[truthbeknown]

@Juxtapose Yes, I understand that, and you are complete right! However, courts and the legal system side with social justice and the whole victimhood mentality. That is why you must make sure what you are doing is wanted and consented. Look around on the internet. Lots of guys have had their lives destroyed by women who did not give clear and concise consent and later came forward with rape accusations. If you want to take that gamble, that's cool for you. But, you can count me out.

[Juxtapose]

Women can retroactively withdraw consent. The solution is to date women who are vehemently against social justice and who cringe if you ask them for consent. You have to know that within every fiber there being they hate everything that social justice stands for and they deeply resent the court system for treating them like they are weaklings. That's the kind of woman who will absolutely refuse to have you pay on the first date. such women are rare but it's worth it to avoid the drama and if I was falsely accused of rape then I'd just move to a country which doesn't extradite to the United States. Rape accusations still have to produce evidence, so the worst a man has to worry about is having his career destroyed by the mere accusation.

[Juxtapose]

I will also add that passively going along with social justice will only make it worse in the future.

[Thattechguy17]

Consent just makes it easier for us to feel comfortable as human beings. Having the other person confirm that they want the same thing can be relieving and make it easier to make a move.

[AriadneSky]

hot and essential.

[Asker]

I agree! Especially the first time you sleep with someone new.

[AriadneSky]

absolutely. i find it incredible;y creepy the guys thin its a turn off.

[JulieXO]

If I'm making out with him and taking his clothes off, I really don't think asking for consent is necessary. Like, if I wanted him to stop I'd tell him to stop. It would be kinda weird for him to ask multiple times while we're at it.

[KeiranByrne]

Hot, but once I took the 'May I' approach too far. I was not domineering enough. I could not bring myself to force her. So she dumped me.
Would she'd more like you!
Oh, well, mileage varies.

[AleDeEurope]

It kills the mood. If your mouth is full with my dick, and then you spread your legs apart, why the fuck do I have to ask for consent? The consent is right there, it's fucking implied.
It seems like humans are more retarded nowadays.
"Oh, I sucked your dick, I'm wet as fuck, and with my legs spread for you, BUT that doesn't mean I'm giving consent" said NO chick ever!!!

[Asker]

Sheesh xD You sure feel strongly about this.

[MrNameless]

But the guy was taking it a different level each time. Sucking on someone's tits is different from sex.

[AleDeEurope]

@asker nah, I'm just exaggerating, it's more fun to write it like that xD @MrNameless didn't read the story, tbh lol

[BeautifulPromisesx]

It would kill the mood for me. I'd rather have him just go for it and be super dominant.

[BillieJean1070]

Wait until you get a good read on your partner... then it won't be necessary.

[blutwolfe]

if I have to ask for consent I shouldn't be with her, definitely kills the mood, actually make me question being with her ever again

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Usually girls say it's lame. Most guys do it cause we aren't the 1s who can really get hurt and can get tagged with being rape-y

[JC103]

It really depends on the delivery and aftercare is a MUST

[Asker]

What do you mean by aftercare?

[JC103]

After you whip her, flog her, and just torture her you have to tend to her and let her know things are good and safe. Yeah the safe words are there but mentally it's really good for her

[Itsmeyay]

He's talking about bdsm

[JSmuve]

If I have to ask, then that means she's not nearly into me enough. Guys like it when they can dominate a girl. If I always have to ask permission to do shit because society says she's a delicate little flower then it puts me in a submissive role, which most guys don't like and most girls secretly don't want.

[Asker]

Oh he certainly didn't HAVE to ask haha, it just really turned me on that he did. But rest assured I would have banged him either way.

[JSmuve]

A lot of guys do feel like they have to ask though.

[Asker]

Well I'm glad he did. It let him know that there's no doubts or hesitation in my mind, and YES I enthusiastically want this, rather than him just doing his thing and me being submissive. If a guy is ever nervous about being accused of sexual assault (apparently a lot of guys worry about this), it's a good way to eliminate any doubt.

[blustar]

asking for consent. tf?

sex is suppose to flow not be like stop and go traffic

liberalism is dragging society down

[Asker]

Hey I thought it flowed very well :D Sweet and gentle turned into hard pounding... that's the dream!

[blustar]

no 👎 in your mind it does

[gobsmacked3]

seems he was insecure combined with being polite

if you are with a woman for a bit you know when she 'wants it'- the way she responds in various manners is consent

plus, impulse rocks

[Asker]

It didn't come across as insecure to me to be honest. On the contrary, he had enough confidence in himself to give me the option to say "no" if I wanted. And he cared enough about my feelings that he wanted to be absolutely sure I was comfortable. That's hot stuff, let me tell you.

[gobsmacked3]

different strokes for different folks, and i am happy it rocked your boat but for i, no it be like if a woman was giving me a bj and stopped every so often to ask if i was enjoying it

[Asker]

Lol that's a little different. It'd be more like if she was giving you a blowjob and then stuck her finger in your butt, then asked if you like that. It's just checking in if you're doing something new.

[GoodLuckCharlie]

I mean, it's pretty much mandatory anyway.

[blondfrog]

Most of the time it kills the mood. Plus when you do ask for consent you should do it in another way. Say you wanna grab her breasts, touch them slowly and look at her reaction if she doesn't pull you off then she obviously gave you the green light.

[Juxtapose]

I ask if it makes sense to ask until I learn their cues and preferences. If she's obviously into it and makes no effort to dissuade me, she's consenting.

I refuse to let sjws run my sex life with their absurd rules.

[CabernetSauvignon]

if you're with the type of girl who you really need to ask, you need to find someone else

its not sexual assualt if youve dated, kissed and held each others hands

its called making a move

[Asker]

Sexual assault can happen anytime, even if you're dating and you've kissed or whatever.

[CabernetSauvignon]

women do not understand the seriousness of accusing men for that unless she was really raped and she really kept warning him and telling him to stop touching her. like dating a girl few times and she's fond of you and you guys kiss and you touch her breasts but she thinks she's not ready yet, thats not sexual assualt in my eyes. thats not a big deal at all. the whole basis of these charges being so serious is the mental damage aspect but if you're acquanted and there's some romantic interest bewtween the two its called moving too fast.

[Asker]

A simple breast touch isn't sexual assault in my eyes if you're dating; only if you're strangers. Now, if he touched her breasts, and she said "no" and pushed his hand away, and he ignored her and continued anyway, THAT'S definitely assault.

[CabernetSauvignon]

yes i agree.

[ExperimentalMale]

It would probably kill the mood for me.

[Asker]

If you asked her, or if she asked you?

[ExperimentalMale]

both