Why do I feel disgusted with myself after sex?

Question

I'm in an actual relationship... but I still feel disgusting. Right after we make love... I really want a shower. I think about what people might imply. I worry about "smelling like sex." I try to put on a bunch of perfume when I leave his place. He's not my "1st"... but he's one guy who I have felt the most connected to sexually and emotionally. We like kinky sex.

Unfortunately, despite being together since October... I just feel used and gross after we fuck. This cannot be normal. If we do everything except oral and actual sex... it's okay. He doesn't make me feel disgusting, but sometimes maybe his dirty talk messes with my head? We have fun. I can compare my feelings after sex with A. Working out (but worse), B. Playing in the dirt, C. Shame, like I somehow developed ego-centrism all over again and imagine that complete strangers know I just had sex. These feelings are awful.

How do I get over this "unclean" feeling. I feel like a whore; in a good, reliable, strong relationship?

lenny25 · Accepted Answer

Here is the thing! Don't ever listen to people telling you that your feelings are wrong. Your intuition is yiur best counsil. Hope yoy already know We have physical body and soul (energy) everything you have in the physical has a coloration in the spiritual. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. As below so is above, as within so is without. As in the physical so is in the spiritual. So when your physical body sustains injury whether you know it or not it sends signal to your brain and you feel pain what do you think happens when the equivalent happens in the spiritual? "Emotions happen" always always listen to what your feelings are telling you. Problem is for some of us this muscle hasn't been exercised. My interpretation of your bad feel is generally that in that moment you are having sex you are living outside of your heart's true desire and only you know what it is. Don't get caught up into mainstream beehive thinking staff guys making porn in bed instead of making love and think all is gonna be well with your soul.

LEIGHX · Accepted Answer

It's all in your head... Are you a religious person? Are you an Introvert? Is this your first relationship? Do you really love him? Do you think your boyfriend loves/care about you? What about the communication between you and him? What happens when sex is over: does he touch you, cuddle or talk with you? Think about it. Womens are far different from man's feeling. And remember that you're not the only one feeling this way.

Check out these articles:

www.askmen.com/.../135_love_tip.html
www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...tionally-destroyed.html
www.mentalhelp.net/.../

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You need more loving feelings from him "he doenst cuddle me after sex"

You need to get to know ea other deeper, you want a man to know your heart and soul. He is not giving you that. You sheiled your heart to talk about your needs, wants, fears, desires. You don't know ea other to that level yet that's why you feel this way.

Do you see yourself marrying him? Having his children? Live with him till the end?

LovelyColleen · Accepted Answer

Don't worry. A little anxiety after sex is totally normal. I take a shower after I cum all the time, although that's mostly because I've been sweating. You just need to tell yourself that it's okay, no one else knows or can tell what you've been doing.

Xfitchick · Accepted Answer

Try to find the real reason why you feel like that. Is it religious background, something that happened in the past, education , ... Only when you know that, you can tackle your problem.

AustinMan · Answer

I would most strongly suggest you find a good therapist. I'm no psychiatrist but clearly, at least to me, you're hugely conflicted. Have you always been taught that sex is wrong, dirty, and demeaning? Please, find yourself some help.

Expect2Achieve · Answer

OK real talk right now: is it because you are not married to him?

DevikaButts95 · Answer

I don't know, I never get this feeling.

capturemyheartnow · Answer

You have got some mental problems. There is nothing to feel bad about sex with your partner , either before or after sex.

spoonman2014 · Answer

It could be the dirty talk, they say the pathways in the brain that link pleasure, guilt and shame are very close together so that is why people develop odd fetishes. His dirty talk could be extra weird but because of the intensity of it all you can't get away from it.
But yeah, I did run home to shower once after a crazy night, this girl had clear daddy issues and was almost mirroring her past potential trauma through us having sex. I never asked her what happened with her and her dad but I could imagine... It still skeeves me out and that was two years ago

jacquesvol · Answer

Your education is the cause.

helphelpimdying · Answer

i feel disgusted after i jerk off. so i guess its normal.

Rudon30 · Answer

Well if u feel, that way its an indication of guilt and I will suggest not to be having sex, until you are truly ready. Marriage possible.

Decentguy · Answer

you think too much of what other people think of you

sexcrazy12 · Answer

just stop over thinking things, lie back and enjoy. if it were your first I might understand but if he is not then there is no reason. also if he raped you then it would be okay to feel disgusted, but not in yourself, the feeling of being dirty. so it seems you have nothing to worry about

nightwing66 · Answer

I have one question. Why you feel dirty of having sex? Why you care of everybody if have sex? Do you like to be judge of what you did with a stranger?