Guys, My First Oral Sex Experience... Now He's Gone!! What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Hey Guys,
It's this guy named Brent that I've known since high school that I've talked to on and off since 2012. Over this past weekend we kissed for the first time and he gave me oral 3 times. The next day Brent called asking how I felt about everything in general? I said good like my normal self, good. He then said I mentioned you to my cousin (“Bruce”) I told him that I have a crush on you and Bruce vouched that you are not an easy girl to get with that you haven’t been around. Honestly, that ticked me off because I felt that he should have known that himself and also I don’t think he said he had a crush on me I think he told him that he gave me oral. I took his bracelet for friendly collateral because I had accidentally left a few items at his house, he said I was looking for my bracelet to wear today and you took it; for some reason I couldn’t help but feel he let me keep it as a way to say good bye. Why? He said when you think of me look at your wrist he continued to say how he wasn’t much of a kisser but couldn’t wait to kiss me again. I haven’t heard from this jerk since Sunday and today is Wednesday! I refuse to call him because I feel hurt, betrayed. I feel like I was nothing more than a game; now that he accomplished having some form of sex with me that he no longer wants to pursue me. He said that I owed him letting him have oral sex on me because of how he always felt for me because in the past I never gave him a chance. I feel like this is payback for making him feel rejected when he chased after me for 2 years. Clearly I’m hurt and devastated because I pride myself in having a great amount of self-respect and dignity my emotions and human nature for a guy that I always liked allowed me to be vulnerable. The first time he tried to undress me I should have left. I want to mail him his bracelet back because I don’t want it. I noticed he didn't want to be satisfied in anyway which makes me more confused. Why would he treat me this way? What should I do?

[Redein95]

He wasn't who you thought he was honestly I have been in the your shoes as a guy I had a best friend well thought she was we had sex a few times but I always made her cum multiple times I never got off cause she would always want me to stop then one day she just stopped talking to me and got with some guy and that was that. So all I could do was move on. Just put him out of your mind and don't talk to him if he trusts to talk to you cause I can bet all he will do is try to get more out of you then disappear again.

[Asker]

Redein95 thank you for your advice. It feels good to have somone to relate to. I'm sad because I'm having a inner tug of war; at one point we were real good friends and I think I'm going to miss that. I just feel disappointed in myself because I wish I had left his house before things could advance to a physical level. I think my feelings and actions toward him were more genuine than his as I stated before I think he has a lot of resentment from me not giving him a fair chance in the past. I don't like how I feel so conflicted. I plan on mailing his bracelet to him tomorrow. I just can't picture myself calling him, it'll appear as if I'm desperately chasing him and for the love of tenancity I just can't... I'm shy, I'm scared (to call), I'm embarassed, confused. I honestly hope that I'm making the right move to move on with giving him space.

[Redein95]

I honestly thing that you are what's that old saying when life gives you a Limon you make limonade 🤔 but just keep your head held high and a smile on your face and everything will end how it should it always does...😀 Pluss the way you talk you seem to have a good head on your shoulders you will make the rite choice just believe in your self follow your heart that's all you need:)

[Asker]

Redein thank you so very much for replying, I didn't have such a great day because I've been thinking and over thinking about him since Sunday and I've been quite overwhelmed with so many different emotions however, I found comfort in your comments thank you for bringing a smile to my face it's truly appreciated!♥

[Redein95]

Your welcome ❤ and thank you it means a lot knowing that I can still bring a smile to someone's face even if I don't know who they are...

[truthbeknown]

Ok, from your story, he called you the next day, right? Well, you are saying he hasn't called you. He DID call you! The ball is in your court now! You should be calling him! Also, you are getting upset like a little kid over what he said and assuming he said other things to his cousin. You better call him before you ruin it!

[Asker]

Truthbeknown, I respect your opinion but I disagree with "you are getting upset acting like a kid" this guy has had a past track record of being quite rude to me since I would not date in the past a few years ago. I have a problem with calling guys anyway because I'm afraid to be a vexactious so now that he gave me oral I'm shy and for some odd reason I'm scared to call him, and I haven't quite figured out why? Last time we had spoken I was at the hospital with my loved one (that's when he called me) he hasn't called me to see if I was okay? Not in a tit for tat manner but he recently lost a loved one and I have bent over backwards being kind to him and he has not been all that receptive of my kindness, very temperamental and he says it's because he's "still grieving." What if he doesn't want to talk to me? He stated that he didn't want a relationship because he's going through too much in his life. How am I going to ruin it?

[truthbeknown]

All you have to do is message him real quick, "hey, how are you?"

[Asker]

Sounds good but I'm tired of chasing him. I'm done! I have bent over backwards for this guy and he always finds a way to dismiss my presence, his silence is a sign that I need to back off. Just as I can/could call him what's prohibiting him from contacting me? He doesn't want to. I seriously doubt that it is normal to hook up with someone for the first time and then you just go from being hot to cold, not only is it thoughtless it's disrespectful. All I wanted was a little reassurance to know that he cares about my feelings is that too much to ask for? He's a thoughtless PIG! He didn't even take into consideration that it was my first time with the oral experience, how did he make me feel special? He didn't, I feel used. I honestly think he's just being his norm, he's used to low class females that don't require a high standard of treatment or accountability from a man. Well, I'm not going to take that type of treatment from him especially when I don't give it to him.

[Asker]

Oh remember how I said I think he was made about his bracelet because he wanted to wear it to his Superbowl party but I had took it? Well I mailed it to his petty self this morning. Hopefully, he'll get it sometime Friday or Saturday. To make myself feel better I ordered myself. I honestly think his silence is fueled by that bracelet I really think it ticked him off. Why else would he go silent? "When you think of me look at your wrist?" "I'm not much of a kisser but I can't wait to kiss you again?" If his words were not empty then why silence, where's the action? Sorry I could be wrong, but I think it's nothing but a game and lies to keep me interested because he has no intention of interacting with me anymore or keep me at bay in case he wants to take me off of the shelf and use me (again). Really what are my choices? I would rather have respect any day than forced interactions.

[Scobro]

He's probably just nervous to say something or act. You should either pretend nothing happened until it comes up, bring it up when your ready, or talk to him like usual and drop some hints. If you just reach out to him, I'm sure he's dying to have an excuse to talk to you again

[Asker]

I appreciate your perspective I truly do, but I can't see myself reaching out to him; for some odd reason my feelings are hurt. I feel shy and embarrassed to! If I contact him how will I know if he wanted to talk to me or would he be just conversing with me because I reached out to him?

[Scobro]

I may not be able to completely understand your situation, but you there's nothing wrong with him conversing because you reached out to him. Just test the water and see how he responds with the way you normally speak.

[OfDeath]

So basically you haven't heard from him for 2 days?
Not exactly a red alert.

[Asker]

Maybe you're right, but I don't like how I feel?

[Asker]

I love talking and communicating but I don't want to call him because what if he really is "done with me" or playing games, then I appear to look desperate. I don't like not knowing what he's thinking it's driving me nuts.