My boyfriend thinks he is too small and is not satisfying me?

[Anonymous]

We have been together a year and love each other beyond words. Everything is fantastic. We have talked openly about our past relationships. My ex before him was very large. My boyfriend is average in size. The sex we have is incredible, the best I have ever had. However, he feels that because I had bigger in the past, that that is what I need to satisfy my needs and he doesn't feel he is doing that. He believes that having the most intense orgasms mean THAT kind of sex is the best, when in fact, I don't feel that way. He is unbelievable with his fingers and tongue. But to him, he feels that if he can't give me those mind blowing orgasms, that he is inadequate, less of a man. I have 1 super intense orgasm with him and others were smaller. That's not good enough for him. He said if he can't get over this feeling of inadequacy, he's leaving because he wants the absolute best for me and he feels he isn't doing that. I love him more than anything, the intimacy, the foreplay, the touching and the sex, orgasmic or not... all the best I've ever had. Nothing I say seems to make him believe that orgasms aren't the be all and end all of our sex life. If I lose him over this, I'll be devastated.

[Rich0608]

I'm a little confused with what you wrote. On one hand you say that you are having the best orgasms of your life and then a bit later you seem to indicate that you not. Which is it? Most guys are concerned about the size of their penis, everyone assumes that bigger is better but in speaking with a lot of women that appears not to be the truth. What is important is the overall experience. I'm bit over average in size (so I've been told) but my wife dated a guy that was very large. I felt a bit inadequate initially but she said that she is perfectly happy with what I have and that our sex is actually better. I guess I could worry that she might be just trying to pacify me but she always orgasms and she's satisfied so that works for me. Tell your boyfriend that you're perfectly satisfied with what he has and if he's still unhappy then he should seek medical help because this is his problem not yours.

[Asker]

What is confusing? My boyfriend is the best sex I've ever had. I've had awesome orgasms with my ex who was bigger yes. I am perfectly satisfied with what my boyfriend had. He has a hard time believe if that if I don't orgasm every single time we are together. To him, having an orgasm is the best sex ever. So when I say he is the best he says no he's not if he can't make me orgasm more times than not. I don't see it like that.

[NJ_Casanova]

You told him about your sex life with your EX? That is the best way to "sabotage" a current/new relationship.

I don't think you can say anything to fix it... short of going to couples therapy.

This was as bad... as if he said, he use to date your BF/sister and he says she was much better in bed (better sex skills). How would you be able to put that out of your mind?

[Asker]

No no no... we openly talked about our ex's early on. We are open and very honest. I won't lie and neither has he.

[NJ_Casanova]

There is a big difference between lying and going into details. I would tell any female friend to NEVER talk about their ex's size to a guy they want to keep around. It's totally fine talking about positions/locations you've had sex.. but that's it.

[rocketbebe]

He will be really stupid to leave you for this because you clearly love me. I think he needs some time to get over the thought of your ex being bigger, so all you can do is just keep loving and caring for him like you have been doing and hopefully he can get over it. Did you tell him your ex was bigger?

[Asker]

He asked if my ex was bigger. He is obsessed with his size. He is slightly above average and perfect! He is jealous. He has told me this. He is jealous of the orgasms my ex gave me, which were not as often as he thinks, but they were there.

[rocketbebe]

There isn't much you can do. Its really up to him to move on.

[Iasabella]

Tell him how good he is with foreplay. Also tell him that men with bigger packages can't always do all the positions because it hurts the woman. Tell him he has the ideal size. Also name his penis lol

[Asker]

I have done all of this. My ex that was bigger did hurt me. Just because he was bigger doesn't mean he was better. It's how they use it that matters. Oral was difficult with my ex due to his size. Oral with my boyfriend is perfect and amazing!!! I'm just at wit's end. He can not make me any happier but he doesn't see that.

[Iasabella]

If you've already communicated your preference to him multiple times then maybe he's a bit jealous in general, but won't tell you out of respect or fear that you would perceive him as weak or insecure. Maybe there's something else bothering him generally? something that makes him feel less strong lately? Does he have this concern from the beginning of your relationship?

[Zendrya]

why would you tell him your ex had a big dick? You aren't suppose to do that

[Asker]

I was too honest. He asked and I don't lie. He told me all about his ex's

[grlpwr]

I think he may like being submissive

[Asker]

Yes to a degree I can see that

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

😂😂😂😂
yes this happen with boys.
but you done one thing wrong.

[Asker]

What have I done wrong?

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

actually. telling the truth is not wrong. but boys accept it or not but they always feel bad when it come to dick. even if you say my ex dick was very big that's hurt etc etc. but he will still think that dick is better. i never enter that scenario but. í think i will say the same what your boyfriend is saying i don't know who said this bigger is better. but boys always think this. your fault is telling that your ex had a big dick... that's it. for women maybe it not matter but for men it's really matter. ( don't know why) hmm... tell him ( your boyfriend) that you are just joking. your ex had a small dick then him. you are just teasing him... and stuff like that. this is the only way. otherwise he will always feel that he is not satisfying you. and it real broke a man when he come to know this. do what i told you. maybe it will work for you. best of luck

[Asker]

I was honest. He asked about the size of my ex because he thinks he is small. I was honest. I guess I should. It have been. He is obsessed with his size.

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

i know sometimes we want to say true to person we love. we do not want to hurt him or her. he will not say that you hurted him by saying this. but from inside... he will always be insecure... he can also think that you will leave him for someone else with big dick or he will leave you becuase he will think he is not satisfying you. just do what I told you. that's the only way from my side.

[Asker]

He has asked me why would I want to stay with him if he can't satisfy me? But he does and that is what he can't understand. Im very much 100% satisfied even though I may not have had a mind blowing orgasm. He can't understand that. He said he thinks I miss bigger and eventually I may look for that. That's not me at all. I don't miss that. No matter what I do, I can't convince him

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

i told you already what you have to say. otherwise there is no way. he will always think that one day you leave him for big and due to this fear. he will find another girl... do what i said

[Asker]

It's been a year. I can't all of a sudden say oh I was kidding, my ex wasn't big. I will never leave him for bigger. Never. He's so incredible in so many ways. It's frustrating to not make him believe this. If he leaves me because of his feelings of inadequacy, I'm done. No more. Not another man will I let in my life, not ever. I know good when I see it. I've always had a sixth sense.

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

sixth sense nice. one year that's too much time... insecurity and that big dick 😂😂 he is not understanding.. tell him that isn't matter ( dick). all you need is love. dick is not going to help you in old age tell him that. tell him that. trust me í am satisfied i cannot get a better person than you. do you think my ex love me more than you. if you think yes then leave me.

[Asker]

Thank you. This has been so frustrating. I think it's the other women in his past... he said they believed that if there was no orgasm then sex wasn't satisfying. So he has that in his head. But that's not me, not at all.

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

oh... case over... your boyfriend is wrong... now tell me what you want. ask simply you want to think like this becuase of your ex or you want me.

[Asker]

What?

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

tell him what you thinking... tell him that he is breaking your heart and feeling for you. tell me last time. Dick size doesn't matter. amount of love he give is matter. you are with him for love not for sex only. just it. and if he still don't understand then leave him.

[Asker]

I've told him this. I've told him that it's not just the sex for me, it's the whole package. Sex is important don't get me wrong. If it were awful I would not have stayed. He wants to be my BEST because he said I am his BEST, the best sex he's ever had. But he feels he is not my best and he doesn't know if he can live with that. But he is my absolute best!

[ANITKUMARVERMA]

hmm. sex is important. you both are same. 😂😂😂😂 anyways he will not change... this thing will always be in his mind.

[LastNightmare]

make him feel he's good by creating another illusion

[Seppelson]

he has no self confidence in this.

[Asker]

He has major feelings of inadequacy. If he were inadequate I would have left a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

Repeat him you never had sex as good as with him.
Rspeat it over and over. Ask for more of the same.

[Anonymous]

In what way is the sex the best you've had?

[Asker]

I look at sex as the intimacy and everything he does to make me feel good. He is the best kisser ever! Hands down and that's important to me!! Oral is phenomenal! His fingers are like nothing I've ever felt before! We experiment, we try all different positions. The entire experience every time with him is amazing!!!

[Opinion Owner]

It's really difficult. I understand his feeling in the sense that not only do I want to be the best, but I also want it to be the 'most intense' she's had, really. One thing I would NOT do is focus on how you are connected to him and it's not important. Be very clear that sex is extremely important. If he asks "why would I want to stay with him if he can't satisfy me?", be very clear you wouldn't! Tell him its the main reason you keep him around :p We don't want to be okay at sex. We want to be -amazing-. But the hint that you had bigger orgasms with your ex than him, if true, would be troubling. I understand sex is not just about them but... is there no way he could get you to those levels?

[Asker]

Yes he has had me there. I've had 2 mind blowing orgasms in the last 10 months. He wants me to have more. He said that's not enough. Also, I didn't mention, we have sex in the car. We live 1.5 hrs apart. We have only had sex in a bed twice and yes I could orgasm easily then. So I think that plays a huge part as well

[Anonymous]

This is why guys hate girls with high numbers. It's like paying new car money for a used car.