Sexual Relationships
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Do you believe in the 80/20 rule when it comes to sex/relationship?

The 80/20 states that in any social environment, the majority of men getting lots of sex is only 20% and from this collective of men, 80% of women are chasing after these men. This rule applies to when women are young and attractive but tends to even out more as men and women get older.

So for example in a university setting, you'll find that many men are left sexless or with very low numbers. While 80% of women are chasing after the top 20% of men at the university for sex/relationship; some even being content with being a friends with benefit in the hope that it blossoms into a relationship.
Do you believe in the 80/20 rule when it comes to sex/relationship?

This results in these type of men to have high sexual partner count just from their time in university and usually they are either very athletic (think athlete), rich, good looking, or have high social status (popularity - e. g. well known fraternity).

The remaining 20% of women are available for the 80% of men to fight over which causes a drought on the men side for relationship/sex.


[If you go to 2:30 mark this, Susan Walsh, who is a relationship expert explains that this behaviour is true among young women today and goes into detail as to why it's preventing them from finding a relationship.]

Also, when we think about how many girls today complain about men not committing or how guys only want sex on social media, and correlate back to this, it makes sense. It's because the vast majority are going after the same type of guys who have abundance of women to choose from.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • No, I' don't buy it. At least I don't buy what it seems to imply, and how people seem to interpret it.

    First of all, for any percentage of guys to date 80% of women, then it means 80% of women are actually dating. I don't have any proof, but I don't think 80% of women are even dating. Therefore 80% can't be dating 20% of men.

    There are certainly a small number of guys who date large numbers of women. But I think many of those same guys are dating many of the same women. The "pool" of women is fairly small, not 80%.

    To make up some numbers to make the point. Let's say there are 1000 men an 1000 women. Now lets say that 20% of men are dating 20% of women. So 200 men are dating 200 women. That leaves 800 men and 800 women. Each of the 200 men date 50 women from the pool of 200. The 800 men date only one woman each. That means that the 800 women also only date one man each.

    With the above numbers, the men in the 20% are dating 50 times as many women as the 80% of men. But they are only dating from a pool of 200.

    The so-called 80/20 rule implies that 20% of men are dating 80% of women, and 80% of men are splitting 20% of women between them. That can break down in different ways, but I'm not buying any of those ways. I think it's closer to the example I gave, with a small number of men dating lots of women, but from a fairly small pool of women.

    • You're thinking too much. Its more like if you take 5 people at random, 4 of them will have gotten laid a combined total of 1 times while in the same time frame, the fifth guy has gotten laid 4 times. Put another way, the average woman has had sex with 7 men by the time they get married but the average man has only been with 2.5 women before marriage. And much of the 80% is marriage worthy but not hookup worthy.

    • @pogicraft I'm not thinking too much. You aren't thinking enough. For example: "the average woman has had sex with 7 men by the time they get married but the average man has only been with 2.5 women before marriage." That CAN'T be true. It's mathematically impossible to be true. The average number of partners for women MUST equal the average number for men. (assuming there are equal numbers of men and women) By the way, your first example doesn't contradict anything I said. As a matter of fact the example I made up was an even larger ratio of 50:1. You used a ratio of 16:1.

    • This makes no logical sense: "The average number of partners for women MUST equal the average number for men. (assuming there are equal numbers of men and women)" The above statement assumes their is an equal distribution in sexual pairing with women to men but women can have multiple sexual partners with the same type of men. Example - Let say we have Jane, Marry and Kate. Let say we have a collection of men that women find desirable, who they physically are attracted to and give this set a sample size of 1 billion. Now, let say we have another set of men women don't really find sexual attracted to but will be with for resources/provider-ship capabilities and give this size 6 billion. Jane, Marry and Kate could have wracked up their sexual partner from fucking the men in the 1 billion set, and two or more girls may have fucked the same guy. The other men on the other hand get next to nothing until they have worked their asses off, getting a nice job and being able to provide.

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  • Of course it's true. Most women, especially in their 20s, when they're the most desirable, really only want guys in the Top 20% - and many want those guys so badly that they're willing to have casual sex with them for bragging rights or on the outside chance that they'll "change him" - though most know that's unrealistic (some really believe it, though). Most girls in their 20s consider guys in the Lower 80% to be undateable, and almost certainly unbangable.

    Of course things change once their Biological Clock starts buzzing, but that's not what we're really talking about. We're really talking about people's 20s, before the vast majority of people (in modern western society) really think about marriage.

Most Helpful Girls

  • No of course not.
    If it were true no one would ever get married. Goes without saying that rich, tall, fit men are more attractive than poor, short, fat ones. And that can be applied to men preferences to.

    But most people understand that they're not perfect and therefore they can't the perfect partner they want. Most women (as most men). Are just looking for someone to share their life with. Someone they find reasonably attractive and they can get along with

    I believe the 80/20 thing is primarily spread by men who do exactly what they're accusing women of. Just going for the most attractive women, not understand that their own value doesn't hold up. And that's the best they can do at explaining rejection

    • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-aha(d).gif

      "If it were true no one would ever get married." Nope, plenty of people "settle" for less.

      "I believe the 80/20 thing is primarily spread by men who do exactly what they're accusing women of. Just going for the most attractive women, not understand that their own value doesn't hold up."

      Which is why the 80/20 principle has some truth to it. Going for the most attractive women and going for the most attractive men are very different. There are very few "most attractive" men than they are "most attractive" women. Men find more women attractive than women find men attractive, this means there is a less number of men that would want to sleep with (as there are fewer men who actually are attractive). This also means that, due to this disparity, the same men are being pursued by the same women. This is where the 80/20 principle comes in.

    • www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-crossed(c).gif

      I don't know whether the ratio is that imbalanced but the point is that those aren't sexy (man or woman) are just "settle" material.

    • Im not going to say its 100% true, but the 80/20 rule isn't meant to apply to marriage. Its supposed to apply to casual sex/short-term mating. Obviously most people pair off and get married. I don't think anyone really believes that only 20% of men can get a wife.

      https://i.imgur.com/ZoB2O8C.jpg

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  • I think this applies more to men chasing woman then it does to woman chasing men. Woman are willing to date ugly, boring, lazy and even stupid guys if they are desperate, or want a guy who will never leave them or cheat on them. Guys on the other hand want the hot girl - no matter how selfish or demanding she may be. There is an insecure girl in my bible study with almost no confidence but very pretty and she has about 1-2 dozen guys chasing after her even though she is very dumb and gets Bs and sometimes Cs in university (I get straight A's but I'm about 10 years older than most of the guys at my school).

  • Attractive people get more attention - what a shocking revelation... lol

    Guys who whine about women only wanting the hottest guys are victims of their own perspective. You literally don't even SEE women who aren't attractive. They don't factor into your calculations at all.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 27

  • I have noticed that when one girl openly admits that she likes a guy soon after several of her friends will also want the guy. It is a strange thing to watch. A new guy comes in and one girl is eyeing him. She starts talking about him and the other two girls jump on the band wagon. So they ask me to have him join our table and all 3 girls are googly eyed with him. With them only 2 got lasting crushes the smart 3 one noticed what a charasmatic jerk he was. One managed to get a date with him. Latter to get pregnant when he refused to use protection. The 2nd was jealous u till the jerk blew town.

    When one adult likes a guy chances are that at least 2 of her friends will also soon start liking him also.

  • I think its somewhat true but not completly, since a lot of the time you don't know the amount of money one has unless they themselves specificly tell you. Attractiveness is true in a way, the ore attractive one is the more likly they'll attract someone else who's attractive. As for high status you don't really kow that either, instead you notice their social interactions with other people and this helps one in attracting others.

    • Don't women tho basically act more slutty to us guys who don't bother with being deep? Even tho I don't get alone time with them, I've found the girls pose more suggestively in groups around me at my dance class than with their boyfriend or deep guy friends. Hell they don't play mind games with me either. Wrote 2 questions on it if u wanna check it out so I can hear ur thoughts

  • This is one of the standard excuses that guys have when they have either never pursued a girl or they tried once and got shot down. I don't think that 80% of the guys are sitting at home on Friday and Saturday nights and the other 20% of the guys each have 4 women to entertain at once.

    • I was alone Friday night but nick jonas had a full stadium reaching for his junk. I think it happens more than you think.

    • @pogicraft I see a lot of average looking guys out on Friday and Saturday nights entertaining lady friends and I'm sure many of them end the evening doing the horizontal mambo.

    • It's not about looks, just guts and privileges.

  • So where do you think you stand anonymous? In the top 20% or bottom 80. Personally I think the women in the bottom 20% are smart. Why go chasing after guys every other girl wants!. I would rather choose a quiet interesting guy, and rock his world! 🌏

    • very cool answer :)

    • Well you would say that now you are degrading looks wise being aged 34. I bet when you were in your 20's you were trying to fuck as many chad's as you could.

  • Girls go for these type of guys because they don't want anything serious.

  • These numbers and internet arguments make me laugh.

    All of us should just be bolder and ask out whoever they are interested. Stop abiding by gender rules.

    Life doesn't end if you get rejected unless your date asks you to fight to the death for a chance at a second date.

  • This may be true in the world of casual sex, but it doesn't apply to the >/= 50% of men and women who don't even engage in casual sex.

    Those who are monogamous are forced to mate 1-on-1, and therefore, there is no monopoly. Those who choose the path of relationships can escape the unequal sharing of mates on the casual sex scene.

    I agree that it is difficult for less attractive men to get *casual* sex, but there's an easy solution: stop being a sleazebag and start dating long term (which by the way includes sex).

    • "This may be true in the world of casual sex, but it doesn't apply to the >/= 50% of men and women who don't even engage in casual sex." Of course it does. Those guys are in the bottom 80%. The vast majority of men would have casual sex IF THEY COULD, even if it was only when they were in-between relationships. And many guys who are in relationships are only in them because they want sex, and they know they aren't the kind of guy who is going to get casual sex easily, but they know if they're willing to be in a relationship (the thing that most girls want the most), that they'll at least get regular sex - even if the girl isn't a particularly desirable choice to him. In other words, they "settle" in order to get sex and comfort (which is fine). But just because some of the 80% have accepted their fate doesn't mean they aren't still apart of the overall chase.

    • @MrOracle And as for the guys who genuinely prefer relationships? You act is if those guys are nonexistent.

    • What about them? They still pursue girls when single, and most still struggle to find someone, even if they eventually succeed.

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  • I reckon I get more slutty poses from women in my dance class despite me not being kind, deep or hanging out with the girls alone. Basically I only hang out in groups, and all the girls pose round me. I basically label it "likeaboss" on fb and they all like that picture as well lol.

    I wonder if I could bang them too. Wrote a question on it, feel free to check it out.

  • In reality, It's more like

    70% of women go after 70% of men
    Top 10% of women go after top 10% of men
    Bottom 20% of basement dwellers of both genders are undesired completely.

  • Maybe, alls I know is if you look alright and you've got a brain, you handle your shit etc... girls will like you. You haven't got to conform to all this rubbish as far as standard specification is concerned.

  • I don't know about that as a general rule literally 80%/20%, but the premise I do agree with. You can easily see it if you pay attention, but too many guys get caught up in the bullshit is why that's the case. People wanna go up. Women care more about social status and how guys make them feel, while guys care more about looks/sex and how girls make them feel. You'd fuck and date a girl long term who works at 7/11 if she's hot enough and just a cool chick. Women generally would want a guy working at 7/11 to move up, before getting married and building a life around the guy if he also happens to give them good emotions. Otherwise other men who give her good emotions, but also is ambitious and moving up in the world is likely to take her away.

    • but also are*

  • Yes, and the vast overwhelming majority of women have no idea about this rule and they have no idea that they are being passed around by these guys.

    I work at a Hospital and right now there's a big scandal because apparently four different nurses all slept with this one doctor, and they found out about each other. He's married, and not to one of them. This is his 2nd marriage. He's tall with sandy brown hair and blue eyes and a chiseled jaw, lol. Real handsome devil.

    That's what they want, that's what they get!

  • 80/20 when it comes to relationships
    99.9/1 when it comes to sex
    being born a non chad male is shit.

  • Do you have any links to any data that was actually scientifically gathered? I don't believe it just because someone says it but if you can show multiple studies that support the claims then I might believe it. I don't believe it just because random dudes on the internet say it though.

  • No. Its not 20%. Nor is it the men. It is money, cars, yachts, social proof and all the fancy things that those men represent. You see, women are self interested, selfish and ultimately blind ass creatures who can never see the value in a person--just the value that a persons wallet or social network holds. So when all the women aren't chasing after you, its not because there is a subset of men that they're chasing after instead, no. Its because they're not chasing after men at all, they're just using men for their own personal gain. All of those men having more sex than you, they also have more money, more fame, more connections, and they're actively okay with paying a tithe to the whores that come knocking looking for all of the above.

  • I think many women too stay sexless or partnerless.

  • I do think that guys who are better looking or richer or whatever have an easier time hooking up with women. But I do not think women only go after these men for relationships. That implies that women are very stupid and want the guys who are clearly man whores. It's much smarter to try and get to know the guys who are not having sex with a different girl every weekend.

  • it's true and not limited to university

  • No, definitely not. Simple arithmetics already says it's bs.

  • Yup, 80/20 rule!

    https://i.imgur.com/529Nfmu.png

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