Girls in strip pubs are just young women paying their way through uni, they are not allowed to sleep with men that visit or allowed to be touched by men, it's their job and surprisingly women go along to strip clubs as well as men as a night out,
It's not cheating to look at beautiful women just like women who go to see male strippers... the best outlook is to appreciate what these people do, I think they put up with a lot of crap from people who go to the clubs to see them.. they are performers and dancers who just so happens to take their clothes off.. I think ur man says no Becos he doesn't want to upset u... and that's a nice thoughtful man but he's silly not to go it takes a lot for a girlfriend to allow a man to see a stripper but a good solid relationship will have no problem with it... it's not cheating though
No, he won't be cheating on you if he doesn't do anything. Being bombarded with naked women in a strip club doesn't make you a cheat. I'll admit I'd be a little concerned if he was the one that wanted to go in the first place, but as it's his friend then I wouldn't worry. The fact he's told you he doesn't think he should go because he's worried it will mean he's cheating is a pretty solid sign he won't cheat on you in my opinion
Thank you so much, I was telling him that because some married men will lie about not going to strip clubs so I respected him for telling me his friends plan. I just thought what his friends thought " it will be a fun experience to do on his 21st " but then again I'm his girlfriend and not his friend, I should of listened more and understand his feelings and I'm going to apologize if it felt like I was pressuring him. Yes I thought that as well. After all of this I kind of know what kind of guy he is and how much he has changed from what I was told by him.
tbh i dont count that as cheating if its a once in a while boys night out thing
personally my guy friends have been wanting me to go with them lmao i tell my homies ill go if they buy me a lap dance
i like boobs and ass just like the guys do and i also like dick so it all depends on if your gonna over think them going
Yes it's a one time thing they just want him to go for his 21st and I honestly think it will be a fun experience. Haha if his friends ask me to go as well, I will definitely go, and willing to do it for him. Everyone should go crazy and do something like that for their 21st. Just like going to a strip club for a bachelorett/bachelor party.
YOU BETTER GET A LAP DANCE IF YOU GO
Haha I will try even though for sure I will be laughing the whole time haha.
Cheating is engaging in a sex act with someone who is not your committed partner, and doing so without the knowledge and consent of your partner.
Looking is NOT cheating.
That's what I told him. So maybe it's a belief. In all honesty the real reason I want him to go is because we have been together for 8 months so far and we haven't had sex because I'm still a virgin and he isn't a virgin. The strip club was planned before we even met, I just think it wouldn't be fair if I say no don't go. It's enough already he has to wait until I'm finally ready to have sex. I trust him and I really love him so I just thought it will be fun experience to go.
You're an awesome woman to be so understanding, and any man would be lucky to have you.
Thank you, it really means a lot.
HAHA No.. Let me speak my peace
This reminds me of the exact same principal of the very dangerous instances where people in the middle east will take sexual thought for actual sex and will stone a women who they consider unpure. The man don't get persecuted, but that's for different reasons...
Why I'm saying this... Because looking isn't having sex ok... Whatever you intall as a mode of relashionship that's Reality! Facts don't care about your feelings.. you may feel like your're being cheated, fact is he's not cheating, get over yourselves
no I wouldn't consider going to a strip club cheating , unless he's like buying " erotic " services from them behind the stage , if he's just there watching from a distance no I wouldn't call it cheating
He will be watching from a distance and his friends didn't really save a lot because my boyfriend had to save some money and I was going to give him some money for drinks. So they probably have enough for a lap dance which im okay with.
then where is the problem?
@DrBiG I honestly don't know maybe he doesn't believe in going when he's in a relationship. I just figured it will be a fun experience.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!It isn't cheating, but it would be weird if he'd go multiple times in a row.
That said, I can imagine why he wouldn't want to go. If I am in a relationship, I wouldn't like to go to a stripclub at all. Stripclubs are all about sex and lust, even if there is no actual sex taking place. It would feel like betraying my girlfriend in a way.
No. Is he planning on having sex with a stripper? The entire motto of strips clubs are lookie but no touchy. As long as he sticks to the rules it not really cheating, but hey he might be old old fashioned in the way he was raised and believes it wrong, which is just fine as well.
No he isn't, I have heard of that rule from a friend that went. He does act old fashioned and it almost felt like he was telling me so I can say no and was actually surprised I said he should go.
Yeah then it's ok if that's how he was raised, it's great he respects you and your feelings and doesn't want to feel like he's cheating on you. That's a situation where you don't have to change something that is not broken.
I totally understand now and thank you so much!
if he considers it cheating in his own heart, let him man up and honor his own standards. every man is different. i can look at a really hot chick then go home and bang the hell out of my girl. a guy has to know what faithfulness means to him and not cross that line.
It's not really cheating but I wouldn't want a boyfriend who does tacky things like that. It's sleazy and disgusting. Especially if you're in a relationship and have a partner who is happy to fulfill your needs.
agreed
Rabbit, if you aren't in a big city I'd agree, but if you are it's really not that sleazy. It's a stop like any other and can be quite fun. I wouldn't eat the food though lol
@writeinconcrete I don't see what living in a city or not has to do with it lol. For me it is sleazy and I will always view men who do it as just that regardless. I'm sorry but that's just who I am.
It's not cheating. These women are entertainers and there for show. However, there are men and some strippers who are willing to take it further than just that (I dated a bouncer at a strip club and see how these guys and girls can be). I don't think your boyfriend is that way though simply because he is showing you a sign of respect.
If you have the kind of man who believes going to a strip club is cheating, HANG ON TO HIM FOR DEAR LIFE. I'm pretty religious, so I believe that sort of thing is cheating. Aside from that aspect, very few women become strippers because their lives are great and they're in an ideal financial situation. I have a problem with exploiting someone's sexuality like that, personally. If he doesn't want to go, don't press him.
Thank you and I now understand, I'm going to apologize for not understanding how he felt. He's not really religious but he is old fashioned and believes in Christian beliefs so maybe those are his reasons for not wanting to go. I'm not going to pressure him.
It ultimately depends on your personal definition of cheating (something that's important to discuss with your partner when these types of things come up). In my personal opinion, being in a strip club isn't cheating, but getting a lap dance or any other direct interaction with a stripper could potentially cross some lines.
I mean if you like your man watching a girl get naked and dance for him go ahead. Or if his buddies get him a lap dance and you like a half naked chick grinding on your man than let him go
I want him to go and enjoy his 21st I have seen movies that involved strip clubs, my friend went to one when her friend had a bachelorett party. I trust him and I want him to have fun. I really don't care. I mean he was being honest with me when he told me ( maybe he was hoping for me to say no ) I just want him to go and see what's it like.
if he's touching people or paying for "extras" (which isn't allowed in most decent establishments anyway), then yes, it's cheating.
if he's just looking, then no. but i definitely wouldn't take the chance; therefore, he's not going to any strip clubs... alone lol.
(he goes, i go)
Well I know for sure he might get a lap dance and I'm okay with it because I want him to enjoy his 21st, I actually told him would he feel better and will have fun if I go, but it seems like he really doesn't want to go.
well, you seem to be handling it all very maturely; the fact that he was honest with you about where he's going also speaks volumes, but maybe he's being coerced into it by his buddies. you should ask him if there's something else he'd rather do.
My girlfriend's grandma took her to a strip club on her twentieth birthday, and she got a group picture with all of the male strippers. I think they sang happy birthday for her. Haha. It's not cheating unless they touch them. It's like watching porn. Just gross. I'd never go to a strip club. Creepy. .
If he feels that way then yes but if you are okay with it not really more like voyeurism in a way but I don't know its sounds like he wants an excuse to get out of it. If it was behind your back id totally say hell yeah but as long as you are chill with it hea comfortable and trusts himself not to sleep with anyone i feel like you are good.
If he thinks it would be cheating, i would honor that. Also, I think it means he takes his relationship with you seriously, and that's a good thing.
Thank you and I understand. I'm not going to pressure him, I'm actually going to apologize for not understanding how he felt.
It is a Form of "Cheating" when you are "Cheating" your own Loved One, Hun... From just Having your Eyes for her Only.
Good Luck. xx
If being turned on by other girls is an issue for him then don't force him to go, but that's definitely a red flag. It seems like he doesn't trust you enough to do anything that might make you think that he gets turned on by other women, which also means he subconsciously considers it an issue in your relationship. Or maybe he just thinks they are gross haha I'm not a psychologist. But I'm usually right
I've been to both male strip clubs with my guy friends and female strip clubs with the girls. They are 2 totally different environments on a thousand different levels. And female strip clubs in my experience were far more anything goes if the money is right. And most guy friends are more than willing to let their friend in a relationship do whatever a pay for them. My friends paid for another friend (in a relationship) to get a lapdance and bj cause he was leaving to the army. If he isn't willing to go, my bet is he knows anything can happen and he's not willing to sacrifice what he has for 1 night of gluttony. I'd agree with him on not going and take it as a compliment.
Its a very minor form of cheating, but like all cheating, depending on mindset and actions... it still has the potential of destroying relationships.
A guy or girl can visit a strip clup just fine (i mean its one of the reasons why its allowed at bachelor (ette) parties). but when comparison and fawning/fantasizing come into play... it can only go downhill from there.
Watching is ok I guess. That's like watching porn in my opinion. But any touching or interaction with the strippers (lap dances and such) I think is crossing a line. It wouldn't be ok if he got a lap dance by some random girl at the club so why would it be ok to get it from a stripper? Just because he paid for it? That makes it even worse lol.
In general I don't really understand what taken guys do at strip clubs anyway, though. I can clearly understand if it's upsetting, so I don't see why they'd want to do anything that could hurt their partner.
Look but don't touch. No problem. Though if he is uncomfortable about then he doesn't have to go.
It really depends on how a person defines cheating.
Chances are, all he'll do is have a couple of over-priced beers, and his buddies will probably buy him a dance, or two.
I mean, sure, he'll be surrounded by half naked women, and if he gets any dances, they will be in partial contact with him. All over his clothes, of course, but some people may be uncomfortable with that.
Most strip clubs (reputable ones, anyway) have policies which prohibit too much contact, and determine what the girls are allowed to show.
He won't be seeing anyone fully nude, and there will be no genital contact. It's relatively safe, for the most part.
If he considers it cheating, and you don't; I would be curious to know what aspect of it that he's worried about. He may, incorrectly, think something is going to happen, or he may just not feel right about looking at other girls while he has a girlfriend.
The way he was talking it did seem like he was into the idea maybe he wanted me to say no. I just thought it will be a fun experience. I'm thinking the same that he is worried they might touch his private area or something. The more I think about it I understand now. I actually feel a little bad.
Well, in all honesty, they probably would touch him, albeit through his clothes. I've known several strippers, and most of them know that horny guys tip better, and buy more dances, so they tend to work that angle. I don't think you need to feel bad, and I can understand why you'd be supportive of his going, in the first place. The important thing would be to let him know that it's his decision, and that you'd support whatever choice he makes.
I will definitely tell him what you have said because so he can understand and think about it a little more. And thank you so much!
I wouldn't say it's cheating to go to a strip club, but if it's a regular occurring it's skeevy and disrespectful.
You should be happy he has no interest in it. I know I'm glad my partner doesn't either. He went once since we got together as part of a bachelor party and was not keen on it haha ended up getting me to pick him up after about an hour, feeling like he'd put enough time in for it to not be rude to leave.
I will add that I do think it crosses the line into cheating territory once there are lapdances involved.
Also, it sounds to me more like he just isn't comfortable with the idea in the first place and has no desire to go to a strip club. He may be using the fact that he's in a relationship as an easy way to justify not going to his friends. Unfortunately, that puts you in the awkward position of being the one his friends blame for him not doing what they want. I get where he's coming from, and he sounds like a genuinely good dude, but I think he should just be honest with his friends that he doesn't want to go and it's not his thing. Why should he be pressured into doing something he doesn't even like on his bday? I get being pressured into going for a buddy's bday or bachelor party who actually wants to go, but being pushed into it on your own day? That's dumb and his friends should have more respect for him.
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