Sexual Relationships
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Girls, if the basic idea behind rape-fantasies is non-consent that is consented upon, why does this inconsistency exist?

Okay, rape-fantasies..

I actually spent the better part of today looking through this site for questions and such involving it. But across everything I found, I saw that one aspect about it was routinely either ignored or brushed aside when gently mentioned.

So the basic consensus is that you want to feel desired by someone you really like (and TRUST) to the extent that they will, to some degree, fight you over you. That probably doesn't even begin to cover it, but the overlaying point is that you wanted it anyway. Fair enough.

So considering that, why then does the erotic material that draws from these fantasies have ACTUAL RAPE in them. I'm sure we've all stumbled across some writing that made us raise an eyebrow or two.

Now I'm not sure if there's something in-between the lines that I'm not quite picking up because I'm not a girl, but in a lot of the aforementioned material, it seemed strongly to me that the heroine did NOT want it beforehand. Sure, the heroine may orgasm in the scene. But isn't it common knowledge by now that just because a woman cums during rape, it doesn't mean she will be any less traumatized? Yet in these literary instances, if the heroine orgasms during the act, it suddenly becomes this insanely passionate thing and all the potential scarring is immediately wiped.

So just in case the question isn't obvious by now... If the rape-fantasy is about getting overwhelmed by someone you wanted it from to begin with, why is the fantasy presented otherwise as legitimate violation?
Updates:
+1 y
Oh and before everyone freaks out, I am aware that the rape scenes in the material are (typically) nothing like the life-threatening, knife-to-the-throat stuff that actual rape is. But the question of prior desire still stands.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't think people who write these fantasies make that connection or take it into consideration. This could also be a coping method even though that is an unpopular concept but its not entirely an unlikely one. As someone who has been around violence her whole life... having someone that you tell your story to in means of reaching out for help and basically accused of lying about rape because at some point you were turned on is bs. Or at some point, you and the person were dating.. so it takes me back to like wow, because I got turned on.. its basically like okay for them to rape me.

    I am all for being tied up and all that but I prefer tying them up simply bc of my trust issues and I really have never done it in actuality but its the first time I say that. It was only with a few of my ex's have after much consideration and comforting. I told them I basically wouldn't do it unless they created something in the knotting or in the cuffs that made it easy for me to take off.. I couldn't handle being completely tied up because I just wasn't at that stage in my recovery anyway.

    I like the element of surprise and all that but as I have grown older, I realize this is more hurtful than helpful and i am not that turned on by the idea of it anymore.. especially in porn. I like some sprinkle of bdsm in my sex but I just think the rape fantasy takes it too far. I can see how bringing violence into sex might be a way to cope but I can tell you that afterwards, seeing all my bruises and cuts.. I just feel like an asshole. :/

    I have more desire now when we both challenge each other and have long lasting stamina. But violence and rape are things that are excessive to me now and don't turn me on. When I was going through tough times, I told myself by putting myself through the fantasies was like facing my fears and laughing at them. I now know that just supressed my pain that I wasn't dealing with. I never actually got closure or comfort.. but I just learned that this was making me more traumatized and sad. I don't know if any of that answered your q but yeah.

  • That is a the authors fault, rather than doing research and thinking about what message a scene might convey to their readers. They just write the cliches of what they think is consensual sex. Which in no way it is. Perfect example of why I hate the 50 shades of shit series. It is wrong on soooooo many levels but the author thought it was sexy and a lot people who didn't know better thought so too

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What Girls Said

(5)

  • I felt the same way, but started acting them out and it make me feel better ! I did have one boyfriend break up with me. But my guy now

    I think about getting raped on the interstate & a gas station bathroom.

    I tried with one boyfriend and he just went limp when I started crying. Now, I make sure to use a safe word, "are you trying to get me drunk", I know he's going to rape me.

    We don't hit each other, for the most part but he's been taking we down by the hair & doing me from behind or punches me in the stomach (I can take a punch now, lol) , I fight til he over powers me and rapes me, I kind of freeze up and think about the intestate and he has a thing about doing me passed out. It kind of makes feel better about thinking about it.

  • I have no idea, I never had such fantasies cause I'm 100% dominant, but my boyfriend has fantasies about being "raped" by me :P

  • It's just stupid fantasy, some men also have fantasies about being raped by a girl

  • Well its not actually rape, just like if you have a "daddy" kink, you don't actually have sex with your father.

    • I get that. But if it's not really about rape you didn't want, why is that how it's typically expressed?

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Girls, if the basic idea behind rape-fantasies is non-consent that is consented upon, why does this inconsistency exist?