I think my boyfriend raped me... again?

Question

is it rape if you are asleep and you took a sleeping pill because I am prescribed it for insomnia, and your boyfriend knew about it and you fell asleep and woke up to him on top of me and inside me I was to weak to move but I said no and fought him until I just gave up because I knew there was no hope that he wasn't going to stop. THAT was a week ago. he admitted it was wrong and I made myself forget it happened. But then last night, we agreed to have sex and I told him to not be rough. he agreed. and at first it was ok, and then he grabbed my legs put them over his shoulder and started becoming aggressive. I told him he was hurting me and was crying, I asked him to stop bc he was going so fast and so deep and he has my arms in a tight grip to where I couldn't fight him off me. So I could only try to close my legs which he kept spreading them back apart and continued. And again, I felt hopeless. And terrified. like he came inside me. And I pushed him off as soon as I could and he was like "I came but I wasn't done wtf" and i just layed on the bed paralyzed and scared and he just left me crying, and scared, naked to go take a shower and was mad because "he wanted to keep going" is this rape? Or is it not rape because we are in a relationship with a kid. he did apologize again but I feel betrayed and scared of him sometimes. I feel confused because I don't know what to call what he did. I feel like I'm just being emotional like he said and that I just should let it go to keep the peace. I mean it could of been worse right?

Alan180188 · Accepted Answer

taking sleeping pills, being in a relationship with a kid involved and having to agree about having sex before doing it shows your life is not quite as you expect it and you are not satisfied and a part of you wants to run away from everything but there is a tiny part of you which still has hope which leads you to anxiety, which pushes you to be emotional and may even lead you to be a bipolar at some point in your life.
on the other side your boyfriend's attempt to be aggressive and trying to push him self on you relates to a low self esteem and anger management problems, it's like he wants to mark his territory and power and fuck his problems out of you, and yes what he is doing is rape if your part of story is completely true and there is no other part which you could not be seeing your self also due to your busy mind but the best solution is either sit together and grab a pen and a paper together and go through your life situation together then your relationship situation and write down the good and bad things then try to discus available solutions and use a third party if possible and better if it's couple's counseling or a therapist, this will take time of course but you'll get your answers and you can make a decision after that, life is short and you only live once and as I can see it's pretty ugly for both of you and something must be done cause there is a child life which can be affected.

notallthere98 · Accepted Answer

Both those instances are absolutely rape. He has no right to sex with you just because you are in a relationship. You can't consent while asleep, especially while on drugs. And you can take back your consent at any point. You told him to stop and he didn't. The second he kept going without your consent, that was rape.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that. He's a piece of shit. I strongly encourahe you to leave him if you can

strangytie · Accepted Answer

It doesn't matter if you are friends, acquaintances, lovers, or spouses. If your partner has sexual with you while you don't have the ability or refuse to give consent or pushes you past the line you drew for sex (like to not be rough) and will not stop even when you physically try to, that is rape. He forced you to have intercourse with him and you need to report it to the police. You cannot be in a situation like that, especially with a child.

white_wave · Accepted Answer

Yes, that's rape. You can agree to have sex and then change your mind.. if you make it clear you want to stop and he won't then it's rape. An unconscious person can't give consent to sex. If someone is doing anything to you sexually that you do not want or say no to then it's sexual assault or rape.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes, that's rape. It's rape if he doesn't stop when he knows you want to stop. Get rid of this guy. Do not raise your child around that.

ciitruskiwi · Accepted Answer

That's rape. He took advantage of you. Report him and leave. You deserve better. Much better.

BiPolyAlan · Answer

You said no and he kept going. That's rape. You need to get him out of your life immediately - nobody should be in a relationship with someone they're AFRAID of!

JadonFromStarbucks · Answer

You should never feel forced into having sex or have to be overpowered in a way that you do not enjoy, just because you're married doesn't mean he can have his way with you, it is your body and no one has the right to force you into anything

Yes definitely rape

Curmudgeon · Answer

Uh, WHY are you still with this man?

advaj98 · Answer

Wow that sucks

azathoth · Answer

yeah, that's rape.

Mary_June · Answer

You think or you know?

ForeverLoneWolf · Answer

it was 100% rape. report it immediately. if you need a better explanation I will give it too you.

IQuestionExcistense · Answer

Break up and report it to the cops. Having sex with someone that can't control themselves is rape. That includes alcohol and sleeping pills. He is a disguisting human being.

qwert1234 · Answer

It's rape if you say stop and he didn't stop. This is still true even if genders are swapped.

Woodlandgnome · Answer

If you were incapable of giving consent, then it's considered rape.

turtl3man · Answer

I read like the first two sentences and can conclude that he raped you. even if you're drunk and say yes it's still rape

Decentguy · Answer

its rape. report his stupid ass

cswisher88 · Answer

why are you with him again lol he doesn't sound like a decent guy at all

Pizzalover101 · Answer

Yes if you would of set up a spy cam you have a way to take it to court an prove it

fuzzytale · Answer

you were most definitely raped. you have the right to say no to sex at any time and he needs to respect that. you need to get out of this relationship asap. it doesn't sound very healthy at all

psychobi · Answer

yup ditch him It's going to get lot worse if you stick along

Aandyjuk · Answer

This could definitely be considered a rape and you shouldn't let him keep doing it to you if you aren't okay with it. If you are willing to forgive him and maybe give him another chance (if you still want to be with him) I would say that you talk to him about it and tell him how you feel and be clear about your boundaries. Otherwise you should report it or just leave him if you don't want him in trouble.