Sexual Relationships
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How am I supposed to act in bed?

So I don't know how to act in bed. my first boyfriend hardly ever had sex with me and was boring and i was with him for 10 years, my second boyfriend i wasn't with for very long. te guy im with now has said something before about how i dont make any sound in bed, i only make noise if im having a orgasm or if it feels really good so I don't know what to do about that, and he said i dont look at him unless he makes me, im insecure and sex is a vulnerable thing, someone staring at my face while having sex makes me uncomfortable. I don't know what im supposed to do or how im supposed to act and its really upsetting.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sounds to me his trying to control you Wants you to be something your not Sex is a wonderful union of two people and maybe you're analysing the sex to much Just relax let yourself flow with the moment I presume if I nay say you feel your body arousing and your breath increasing then breath through your mouth let him hear this if you feel joy of the moment take little gasps let yourself again relax and little moans of arousal will happen If he is making you feel uncomfortable during sex then you must tell him otherwise things won't change If you can't tell him then write it in a letter which will get your point across Remember sex is supposed to be enjoyable by both of you Tell him if you do that I love you Hopefully this helps

  • Do you tell him all this? You need to. And there is no "supposed to" with this stuff. It's about talking and being totally comfortable with him, which you aren't obviously. Or you have some sexual "issues" you need to work on. Example, why does looking at him when you are having sex make you uncomfortable? Have you had bad sexual experiences in the past? If so, they are very possibly the reason it's affecting you now? You may need to work on that if that's the case (counselling)? But if that's not the case, it just sounds like you are overthinking this all and not communicating enough with him.

    • i tried to talk to him about it but he has nothing to say

Most Helpful Girls

  • If it doesn't come naturally to you then you'll need to put some conscience effort into it. Make noise. Allow every feeling to go directly to your vocal cords. You can become a real screamer like me. Same with dirty talk. Do lots of dirty talk. You can say just about anything that pops into your head so long as it's related to sex. Better yet, ask him what he'd like to hear you say. Yes, really, ask him. Don't be afraid to speak up. Yeah it's embarrassing at first, but then you get the hang of it and get good at it. :)

  • You don't owe him noise or sexy talk if you're not into it. And if staring makes you uncomfortable, tell him "That is a turn off to me, so stop making me do it." The first step of this process is asserting what you like and don't like and insisting he be accepting, not critical.

  • Work on one thing at a time. Try looking at him a bit more, you don't have to stare at him the whole time. Just be yourself and if you don't feel like making noise then don't. Maybe he's feeling insecure because he doesn't know if you're enjoying it or not

    • thats what i think too. i think he feels like because im not moaning or whatever that its because of him, and i tried to tell him its not but i dont think he believes me.

    • It does sound like it could be that but don't worry. If you've told him thats not the case then he needs to work on that

    • I've told him but he doesn't believe me

  • There is no protocol for sex. Sex is supposed to be fun. So you do things you both like. That means talking about it and experimenting. And females are allowed to take initiative. The time that they had to lie passively on a bed is over.

    • i tried to talk to him and ask him what he wants. i like being told what to do in bed, but he says him telling me what to do isn't being myself. there's no foreplay, im always on top and there's no kissing or anything, I don't know what he wants.

    • Then he just wants pure sex and he is not interested in you coming or not. Foreplay is the best of sex. Its prepares and activates the body and intensifies the climax. And tell him what you want. Then you know if he respects your wishes too.

    • I've never once completed about him but im judged for how i act in bed. i mean maybe if he put more effort into it I don't know seem more into it.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 13

  • Just communicate with your partner and you'll work it out together.

    • I've asked him before what he wants and he never has a answer

    • Then you can't be doing anything wrong.

  • The main thing is to be yourself. There is nothing worse than some kind of contrived action that doesn't come with confidence. As you grow in confidence you might explore more avenues of your sexual personality but in the interim you just need to work on relaxing and being comfortable in your own skin. If a guy is having sex with you then you arouse him enough for that to happen. Remember that. Don't feel like you have to turn into a porn queen overnight, just work on relaxing and enjoying what is happening rather than laying there obsessing about how you might look.

  • Tie him up!
    Then proceed to have fun however and whatever pace you like.
    Being in control, exploring will bring you out of your shy shell

    Still need help?
    Make him read an erotic story YOU find sexy while you explore his naked body, following the storyline on what to do next to him.

  • ask to be blindfolded during sex and ask him to tease you slowy. its a trusting exercise it build character for older inexperienced sexual play. Your body should respond accordingly.

  • If you trust him put on a blindfold and put on earplugs or sound reducing head phones to reduce your hearing. That way it's only about your sense of touch that you'll be tuning into. It will also be easier for you since you have no idea where he is looking and you won't have to worry. The ear plugs or noise-canceling headphones will help you because you won't worry about the sound you make or hear him, and just let loose with moans and stuff.

  • Have a shot of tequila, you sound like you're some plain Jane.

    Sorry, it's a bit insensitive of me.
    I'm trying to say, don't be you.

    In bed, foreplay and acting skills are the greatest roles to be played.

    If you can fake moan and follow up on every move your man makes.

    You will feel like you won half a million dollars, the other half is just both of you, tired, sweating and satisfied from all that effort.

    Good luck, feel free to PM/DM if you need anything. I'm always bored and willing to aid.

    Expect no responses most of the time, I work a lot. 😂🤘

    • thats another thing, there is no foreplay, the only foreplay is coming from my end towards him. there's no kissing and im always on top.

    • Ew. Your man sounds like a lazy fuck. It's not all your fault then, that's a good sign. 🏀😜

    • I agree with the last comment from @Kampaii_Vic Your B/F needs to go fuck himself.

  • Well Tbh You can Just learn to moan and use words if necessary. Gives your partner a kind of satisfaction that you are enjoying. Moaning is like a Feedback.
    plus, Just enjoy yourself but also make your partner enjoy. if he enjoys too, he will make you enjoy more.
    Being quite during sex is such a turnoff sometimes :)

    • its hard to fake moaning, then we'd be talking about how i fake it in bed.

    • the first time i had sex with him i moaned and it was real and he accused me of it being fake

    • He just wants you to Express yourself more :) you dont need to shy around him, and feel insecure. thats what he dont want you to feel :)

  • be yourself and do what you are comfortable with. the right person will like you as you are

  • do what makes u feel comfortable.. get into a doggy position if u don't want to look at him that was what my ex did coz she had the same problem

  • just act how you normally do and enjoy yourself yes i like loud moaning girls but still like quiet ones

    • how i normally act is apparently wrong though

    • to those blokes youve allready had sex with and i will never tell unless well...; ) but everyone is different during some are loud and some are quiet maybe get more crazy perhaps

    • he said he want me to be myself, but I don't know what myself is. im not very experienced and im insecure. i told him i like being told what t do but he said if he's telling me what to do then im not being myself.

    • Show All

  • You're supposed to behave like a lady everrywhere... but to act like whore in bed.
    jk

  • just tell him all that

    • i did

    • tried*

    • what did the said then?

    • Show All

  • Stop over thinking and gave fun. You have no reason to be insecure.

  • be wild and fuck like animal.

  • How are you relaxing

    • what do you mean?

    • You should be comfortable

    • Can not force anything

  • Kust be urself don't act like a dead body

    • im always on top, I don't know how i can act like a dead body up there when im doing all the work

    • thanks for that though 👌

    • leave it to a woman to leave a rude comment

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