Sexual Relationships
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Female friend claims she doesn't remember hooking up. Is she telling the truth?


3 weeks ago a pretty good female friend hosted a party at her home. Drinks were involved obviously. We are all in our 30s. After the party ended and everyone had taken off, I stayed around to help her clean up her home. After that, Im getting ready to take off, we say our goodbyes and hug. During this extra friendly hug she says, "you can stay if you want". Long story short, I stayed the night and we had sex. The next morning I toom a shower at her place then headed to work. That next week I tried getting in touch with her only to get really short reply text messages.

Yesterday I finally ran into her and she wouldn't even talk to me. I sent her a text later that day amd asked, "why has she been so cold to me amd whats wrong?" She allegedly didn't remember us hooking up that night. Apparently the only thing she remembered was me helping her clean up and her going to bed by herself. I no way would I do anything to take advantage of someone, and in no way did she seem blackout. I think its BS... Any thoughts on this behavior?
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • She either does not remember and noticed something in the morning and felt violated or she remembers and now has no idea how to act with you and does not want to talk about it.
    Just try talking with her. Communicating is important with freinds. Sometimes you even have to say your sorry for stuff that you don't need to. Like you can say sorry it affected your freindship.

  • yes she's really trying to avoid you. Or you were just a one-night stand or she wasn't thinking straight anyway I shouldn't really be a concern to you period you had sex and I'm sure you going to have sex again but it's not going to be with the same girl. Unless that's all you care about

    • Its a shitty situation. I actually really liked her.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes, and no Guess... She is Sweeping you Under her Convenient Memory Carpet.
    She is Not Into you Here, dear, so Move on from her. This is the Oldest Lame Duck Excuse in the Book when it's this "Look, no Hook."
    Good Luck. xx

  • When I get drunk and hook up with someone it does happen sometimes that I dont remember what we were doing but I always remember that we at least did *something*, so I dont really see how she couldn't remember anything at all

    • Wow, western culture is so... explosive.

    • This. If she was cleaning up and remembers that, sure she remembers him staying and can put the pieces of the puzzle together even if she doesn't remember all the details

    • @Paultripps My thoughts exactly. I dont buy it. And why wait 3 weeks to tell me. this?

    • Show All

  • My husband used to drop me off at the karaoke bar and pick me up at closing. I drank a lot and never remembered having sex with anyone but I always knew the next morning that I had done it.

  • No.. She avoiding you.. Take a hint... She probably regrets having sex with you and she's trying to play it cool... Sorry if that sounded mean but it's my opinion.

    • Not being mean at all. I do this when my exes try to come back. They get so upset.

  • Nope. she is lying. I think she remembers fully well and she feels awkward so she thinks keeping away is better but she needs to face the music.

    • The things I dont get: 1. Why wait 3 weeks to tell me this? We are pretty good friends. I feel like thats something you ask right away. 2. Who cleans up their home blackout drunk? I honestly believe she knows what happened but is using this as a way to make an excuse behavior. It sucks for me because she is making it sound like I took advantage of her...

    • Yep yep yep

    • @Asker, well she was prob just tipsy... not fully drunk and yea , it can be awkward especially if you and the guy are really Great friends. Also, she might not want to lead you on... like what if after that one sexual encounter, you wanted a relationship from her and she doesn't want to but these are things that require a discussion between you both.

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What Girls & Guys Said

14 7

  • She's probably embarassed and just avoided it.. but just have a talk to her and best clear out the air...

    • Yep. Thanks. I think so too

  • just ask if she would like to hook up. yeah means she really forgot, and nay that she tries to avoid you (why am I replying to all this weird stuff)

  • I think she's lying... she probably remembers but she regrets it

  • she does remember, she's not interested in anything more which is why she's being short with you, maybe she feels awkward and doesn't want all her friends finding out

  • she regrets it and doesn't wanna admit to it, best you leave that one alone

  • She's lying. I'm sorry she's acting like that.

  • I believe she is telling the truth. I had a lady friend who would do that. She frequently suffered from low self-esteem. She would even tell me there were days she woke up after having a night out and not even remember the guy she was with.

    I was terrified for her. She did eventually survive and get help. But for a time, it was touch and go.

  • one word. bullshit

  • I would say she remembers and regrets it

  • She is in DEEP DENIAL
    so play along with it
    never bring it up again
    and your reward could be
    a sequel
    otherwise... NOT

  • could be. it happens to me occasionally

    • I dont get why she would wait 3 weeks to tell me this...

    • oh I don't know. didn't read the entire story

  • Regrets and ghosting. She does remember what happened, alright. Let her go

  • It was a one time fling she doesn't want to repeat.

  • big fat lie... xD

  • Well if she sends the cops, you don't remember hooking up.

  • sounds like she's ghosting you

  • Drop it as it means you raped her

  • She's embarrassed of her actions. She obviously wasn't that drunk to be able to clean after her party. We've all been to parties and we've all been wasted and when we're wasted you don't want to do anything but puke and sleep.

  • I'm curious to know why you're making it such a big deal. Do you want do it with her again or are you starting to catch feelings for her?

  • I think she is lying, doesn't matter how drunk you are you will remember it

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